Child custody

[Shellnic]

Jurisdiction

California

Hi I'm in California I have a 9 year old son I lost custody of about 5 years ago I have been back in his life 3 years going on 4 years now I have no rights to him but I seen him about two times a month and all holiday s and I get him most of his summer break and Christmas break and spring break I wanted to go back to court and seeing about getting 50/50 physical custody and have it on paper and knowing I will have him every other weekend and holidays not just when his dad choose s but I talked to his father and he doesn't believe I deserve 50/50 custody even though I get him about two weeks out of the month and all the holidays and maybe more I'm not trying to take him out of his school and his father s house just for me to bet every other weekend I recently got 50/50 physical and legal custody back of my daughter and I have her 80% of the time but we agreed at mediation with my daughter but with my son he doesn't want mediation or court he just wants it to be when he says and I'm scared if I go through court I won't get it and he'll fight me to not have every other weekend even tho he gives me two time out of the month and holidays I just need advice what to do

 

[army judge]

What did you do to lose custody?

Don't answer, just recall it for yourself.

The other parent is allowing you a privilege, yet you want more.

I suggest you be grateful for whatever time you get and respect the fact the child is healthy and thriving.

Leave well enough alone, because that's how the court will see you as a person late to the party.

It's not about you, it's about what is best for the child.

Let sleeping dogs sleep, don't awaken them.

 

[mightymoose]

If going to court isn't gong to significantly increase the visitation time he already allows you then why risk provoking him and losing that time?
I'd suggest avoiding court until such a time that you feel you are not receiving fair visitation.

 

[Shellnic]

Well I'll now that I'll have a set schedule with my son not just when he says there's times when I don't know when I'm going to see him again sometimes I go three weeks with out seeing him it's hard for me I feel like I have proven myseld long enough and I'm tired of his dad having all the contric and my son asking why I don't see you everyday

 

[zddoodah]

In any future posts, please make an effort to use something that resembles proper capitalization and punctuation. Doing so will make it easier for others to read and understand what you write.

I lost custody of about 5 years ago

Why/how?

I have no rights to him but I seen him about two times a month and all holiday s and I get him most of his summer break and Christmas break and spring break

That's fairly significant visitation. Doesn't really equate to "no rights." Or did you mean that all of this significant visitation is simply a result of the child's other parent's good graces?

I talked to his father and he doesn't believe I deserve 50/50 custody

There's no such thing as "50/50 custody." There's joint custody and sole custody.

I just need advice what to do

Hire the best family law attorney you can afford. No other "advice" from an anonymous stranger on the internet is valid.

 

[leslie82]

Hi I'm in California I have a 9 year old son I lost custody of about 5 years ago I have been back in his life 3 years going on 4 years now I have no rights to him but I seen him about two times a month and all holiday s and I get him most of his summer break and Christmas break and spring break I wanted to go back to court and seeing about getting 50/50 physical custody and have it on paper and knowing I will have him every other weekend and holidays not just when his dad choose s but I talked to his father and he doesn't believe I deserve 50/50 custody even though I get him about two weeks out of the month and all the holidays and maybe more I'm not trying to take him out of his school and his father s house just for me to bet every other weekend I recently got 50/50 physical and legal custody back of my daughter and I have her 80% of the time but we agreed at mediation with my daughter but with my son he doesn't want mediation or court he just wants it to be when he says and I'm scared if I go through court I won't get it and he'll fight me to not have every other weekend even tho he gives me two time out of the month and holidays I just need advice what to do

So you had your parental rights terminated? Because you said: "I have no rights to him." That would mean your rights were terminated at some point but it sounds like you have visitation so you still have your parental rights.

You can file for modification of custody but if your ex can't agree with you it's going to be a long haul. You can get the judge to order mediation.

So do you not have a visitation order through the courts? Either way he's been letting you have the kid for this long so you should be able to at least get that schedule in writing through an order.

 

[Shellnic]

That's all I want is a schedule in writing that's all and knowing I'm going to have him on set dates that's all I do to want to take him out of his school I don't want to take him out of his dad's house I just want schedule d visiatavis

 

[leslie82]

That's all I want is a schedule in writing that's all and knowing I'm going to have him on set dates that's all I do to want to take him out of his school I don't want to take him out of his dad's house I just want schedule d visiatavis

So you need to call a lawyer. Find one that does free consultations. At least reach out to a few. That's the only person who can truly help you in this case.

But it seems like your ex is going to fight you on anything you try to get in writing - so that's why it's best if you can get a lawyer.

 

[Shellnic]

Okay thank you

 

[shrinkmaster]

Your answer is in court. What you seek is a court order. If you feel you have proven you are fit to regain some or all of your parental rights then seek legal advice from a local Attorney and file a motion. However once you do that I suspect Dad will exercise his legal rights under current order to deny you contact with either child. If your rights were actually terminated you may not be able to reverse this. Again seeka local Attorney. Also if you wish you can talk to other parents who may have gone through same thing and see how things went for them. Its a parenting forum hosted by this site for Parenting issues that are NOT legal ones. Just a suggestion heres link

Parent Nook Forums - Index page

 

[ElleMD]

It isn't clear what the situation is here. Were your parental rights actually terminated, or does Dad just have sole custody? If your rights were terminated, game over. Effectively, this is no longer your kid. You have no more right to demand time with him than you do a friend's child.

If Dad was just granted physical custody, you can request a modification, BUT we have no idea why custody was removed from you and how that relates to your current situation. You think you have your act together, but a judge may not agree. A judge might very well still want Dad to have the ability to curtail visits if he deems it necessary. If all you want is a set schedule, that is one of those things you need to work out with your ex. There is also no guarantee a judge will agree that a rigid schedule is best for the child. You need to discuss your situation with an attorney in your area and lay out all the facts. The attorney can give you a better idea what is likely to happen.