Can I leave the state?

[MomInNeed]

I am anOregon resident who was married for 1 1/2 years, and we have two kids. 2 weeks ago my husband left me, with no warning, no food, gas, or money. I was a stay at home mom and he refuses to help me with rent etc.. while I seek employment. He is all I have here in Oregon, my family lives in Idaho. I feel I need to turn to my family for help but he says I cannot leave the state. He says that he will take the kids and I can go home alone, but I will go to my grave before losing my children. Can I leave the state? Why shouldn't he have to give up his support system and move to Idaho too, so he could be around his kids. Would a judge consider that he left me with no choice but to leave? Please help, thank you

 

[Michael Wechsler]

While I am not a family law specialist and hope someone else will chime in, common sense dictates that if you are left in dire circumstances and unable to provide for your children, there should be no problem moving in with your parents in this situation. His threat of taking away your children is, IMHO, a ridiculous threat designed to scare you since, but for his actions of abandoning you and your children and not providing any financial support, he alone has place you and your children in danger. It's a laugh to think that a court would award him the children after those actions. Note that "abandonment" under the law, which is a lack of contact with your children for a certain period of time (much longer than 2 weeks), invokes a set of other rights you may have.

My recollection is that your husband can only complain under certain circumstances if you move the children out of the state without his knowledge. If he has an address, it may be a good idea to send a simple notice that he has abandoned you and your children, has not provided any financial assistance for a period of time, and that you will be leaving the state as a result to live with your parents and provide a contact number. I am assuming that your relationship is not abusive and that there has been no need to take out a protective order.

I think it's a scare tactic... anyone else?

 

[Swissmiss]

I agree!

I was searching through webpages and found helpful information.

The only text I could find regarding your fear of being accused of Kidnapping is this
Child-Napping:

"In the past it was not uncommon for a parent who has lost a custody battle to take the child across state lines in an attempt to have another state's court award new custody arrangements. A set of standardized guidelines have been established to evaluate which specific state should have sole power over making the custody decisions, so presently there is seldom a dispute between states regarding custodial jurisdiction.

If a non-custodial parent snatches a child, at which time you are unable to or feel unsafe to go where he or she is living to retrieve the child, talk to your attorney and if need be file an immediate petition for contempt of court. This is "Child-napping," which is subject to severe penalties"


There hasn't been a custody decission in your situation yet, and you are the only caregiver they have at the moment (your husband doesn't seem to care about the welfare of your children).Especially since you have trouble providing for your children due to the situation your husband is forcing you in.,

I don't see no reason why you couldn't leave.

As a woman and mother I am firious to hear how some men try to intimadate and contol their ex partner. Your husband doesn't seem to understand that by withholding financial support from you, he is hurting his children as well!

I truly wish you all the luck and strenght you can find!

 

[Swissmiss]

I forgot:

Have you checked with local Women Shelters?
They will refere you to a lawyer to get

FREE LEGAL ADVISE.

Just to be on the save side