can a will be changed if two wills are tied together?

[maggie&marlin]

Jurisdiction

Iowa

A man and woman made their wills at the same time, the woman wanted to make sure her 7 adult kids got the house when their mother died...the woman died first and everything except the house was left to her second husband the late wife when she died said that her second husband could stay in the house as long as he wanted and he was totally responsible for the maintenance and upkeep and repairs for the house, also the taxes but the house was paid for from a settlement the late wife received from when her first husband died in a semi accident and it was the companies fault that he drove for. Her will was never recorded at the Court House so only 2 siblings and the husband ever read it. Now 10 years later the husband died and at that time a lady was living with him, when he died he and the lady had been together for 5 and a half years. One of the adult step-daughters was made durable power of attorney by the mother and the husband's will used the same, who was his adult step-child, as durable power of attorney in his will. Could the deceased man have changed the will so he could add his live-in lady friend so she would not have been left with nothing? Would the 7 adult step-kids be able to keep him from changing the will or have a say in how it was changed?

 

[txls]

Your story is kind of confusing but I'll try. One person cannot change the terms of another persons' will.

 

[adjusterjack]

A man and woman

I'll call them John and Jane so we don't get our pronouns mixed up.

Now 10 years later the husband (John) died and at that time a lady (let's call her Sue) was living with him,

Could the deceased man (John) have changed the will so he could add his live-in lady friend (Sue) so she would not have been left with nothing?

Obviously, John, could change his own will to take care of Sue. Did he do that? He cannot change Jane's will.

Would the 7 adult step-kids be able to keep him from changing the will or have a say in how it was changed?

They would have no say in what John did with his own will or his own assets.

However, if Jane's will was never probated and ownership of the house was never transferred to Jane's children then Jane's children have a very big and expensive problem and should be talking to a lawyer.

 

[maggie&marlin]

My grown son told me yesterday that he thinks my gentleman friend, we called ourselves partners, did not try to do anything to leave me something when he died. I was shocked at the way he felt about my partner who had been so good to me, gone through surgeries and illnesses with me, I paid my share of expenses every month to a total of about $48,000 over 5 1/2 years and had cancelled checks and statements to prove it.

He had been with his late wife for 20 years and loved all her kids and did anything for them. It turned out that at the hospital they told me they hated me from the time I moved up north with my partner and they had wanted to get rid of me and now was their chance since he was dying.

Since two of the step-daughters were durable power of attorney they immediately took control of my partner and refused to let me be with him alone and they, 3 of the step daughters stayed all night, every night sleeping in his room and one of them was there whenever I came to see him to make sure we didn't talk, this went on for 10 days. During that time he told them, he had always told them and they had agreed, to treat me fairly and I was to get a handgun he bought for me and $3000 cash that was in the gun safe.

He was giving them instructions and was totally alert and did not need any one to speak for him but they retained control of his health care, who could see him and were hovering over him the entire time along with numerous family and friends which he told me he did not want his dying to be a circus, he asked them to go home at night, they refused telling him he was not their boss anymore, they kept taking pictures of him with family and friends and he asked them to stop but they wouldn't, they told me that if I said anything out of line they would have me thrown out of the hospital. I was all alone with no one to help me as my son could not come up to be with me. I pleaded with 3 chaplains, a nurse supervisor and watched as the 3 step daughters stood around his bed staring at his swollen genitals while a nurse checked it out and when she cleared her throat, my partner said this lady and I live together. I told them later that they were very disrespectful for embarrassing my partner by staring at his genitals, he was their step father not their husband.

The items that he told them to give me were in his gun safe but a day or two after he died one of the adult grandsons was sent to go into the gun safe and take everything out, on the inventory of possessions nothing in the gun safe was written down and there were 3 amounts of cash, my handgun, 3 trapshooting shotguns and numerous other items I didn't know about because I did not go in his gun safe. One of the other daughters, there were 5, called to have me look for my partners DD214 and that is when I discovered everything was gone from the gun safe except my envelope of papers. They even took my late husband's original DD214 and I later learned they thought that was quite funny that they had his DD214.

I was not able to get an attorney to help me Pro Bono so I was my own attorney and went to a hearing to get my personal property back that they kept. The magistrate said that should go to the Estate. So I tried again to get an attorney and called every agency that helps poor and disabled but was told that filing against an Estate was not something they do Pro Bono as they expect to get money for those cases to fund the other cases for poor and disabled. I am 71 years old, disabled with several medical conditions the worst being Fibromyalgia and I now live on Social Security and two small pensions which still puts me at the poverty level. I live in a subsidized apartment with my partners dog who is my life saver.

I was late filing the case against the Estate and I had put a word in for the one step daughter that the Executor refused to give her any of my partners possessions as she had spoke up for me on what they were doing to me. The inventory of possessions was not complete as it did not have the shot guns, the handgun, the cash, all the shot gun supplies including a reloader for shells and the gun safe its self.

My question has always been what was in the safe. Could there have been a letter in regards to me. Could there have been another will for what I was to have. Could there have been my name on the handgun case. The step son-in-law knew the handgun was mine as did all of my partners team mates at the gun club.

I had found a Cohabitation Agreement on line just a month or so before my partner died and I had it filled out and was going to insist he sign it but the chemo he was taking on the second round basically destroyed his liver. So he went in the hospital sooner than we expected. I would have taken the document to my partner to sign in the hospital but I knew that the 3 step daughters would not have allowed me to do that.

After my partner died the step-kids took my belongings and put them in a house I was going to rent but had not sighed a contract or put money down. They got the key from the landlord, moved most of my belongings over to the house, without my permission, 4 days after my partner died. I did not have time to gather all my belongings before they locked the house with new locks, threatened me with arrest for trespassing and refused to let me get the remainder of my things that I brought with me when I moved in with my partner. The Executor had already taken several items my partner and I had purchased together saying anything we bought was theirs.

A couple of months later I found out the hospital he was in had a Patients Policy in a brochure that stated the patient could decide who would be their representative and it did not have to be the durable power of attorney until the patient could no longer make their own decisions. I called the hospital asking about the policy and they said we give the patient the brochure and I said that he came in directly taken to the ICU. I also stated I talked with 3 chaplains, the nurse supervisor and others and NO ONE mentioned the patient policy which would have allowed me to ask my partner what he wanted and we would have made the decisions on if anyone stayed all night in his room, the taking of photos that he didn't want and the disrespect for his body when he had shown the problem to me and had not shown it to the step daughters before I got there but they had to stare at him anyway.

The judge decided I was late in my claim against the Estate, that no other beneficiary had mentioned the problem with the inventory list or the fact that nothing was given to the one beneficiary. She in the end backed out from the harassment from the Executor who threatened her and coincidentally she lost her job just a few weeks before the scheduled hearing before the judge. The Executor denies having the handgun and the lawyer stated professionally that he does not know where the handgun is. The judge never asked to see any of the proof I had to show what was behind the whole "punishment to me for not being the woman they wanted for their step-father."

 

[maggie&marlin]

I'll call them John and Jane so we don't get our pronouns mixed up.





Obviously, John, could change his own will to take care of Sue. Did he do that? He cannot change Jane's will.



They would have no say in what John did with his own will or his own assets.

However, if Jane's will was never probated and ownership of the house was never transferred to Jane's children then Jane's children have a very big and expensive problem and should be talking to a lawyer.

They have a lawyer, or the Executor has a lawyer, he was the Estate lawyer. He is the one that told me to file for my belongings in small claims court but the Magistrate told him to send me a letter like any other creditor. I had to call and remind him and twice he wanted the name of my lawyer but I told him I couldn't afford one and I couldn't get one Pro Bono. I kept trying and that is why I was late in filing but when the one step daughter told me about the inventory I got a copy and I filed a Breach of Fiduciary Duties because the Executor became the sole person to decide who got what and right after my partner died she said to her siblings "we are not going to do anything our step father asked or told us to do." But if the late wife's will was never recorded in the court house, or Probate, how will anyone know what the will said? The Executor will not let the sister, that has been barred by the Executor from getting anything, has asked to read the will and has even asked to speak to the attorney but the attorney has never responded to her request and her sister (the Executor) will not let her read her mother's will...!

 

[adjusterjack]

Long story short: You were not MARRIED to him. You have no rights to anything unless his will specified a bequest to you. Your cohabitation agreement may have given you a claim against his estate but you filed the claim late.

Your partner's late wife's will is likely irrelevant if she and her husband owned everything jointly with right of survivorship.

His will you can read at the courthouse. Probate files are public record.

Unfortunately, the bottom line is that you may have to resign yourself to your situation and get on with your life as best as you can.

Let this be a lesson to anybody else who wants to live with somebody without benefit of marriage. Cohabitation might not be a cultural morals issue in modern times but it certainly is an incredibly bad financial decision that almost invariably turns out bad when the relationship ends.

 

[army judge]

Don't play house with ANYONE, and expect to receive SOMETHING.

If you MARRY someone, make sure you know EXACTLY what you're getting into, and with whom!

 

[maggie&marlin]

The only thing I expected when I left was what he gave me as gifts and with as much in my savings as I had when I came into his life...the Executor slandered my name all over the area and to his friends, she told people I stole $50,000 from their mother, the amount of money kept going down each time, the IRA he had was a little more than $20,000 and they were telling people that he spent all his money on me, as I've explained I paid my share as I don't want to take advantage of any man. Her story then changed to I took her mother's belongings and sold them...in actuality if I hadn't paid my share they would not have gotten the amount of money from his will that they received. But how can someone steal the contents out of a gun safe, while I was still in the house, not list the money, the guns and anything else they took out? How can a judge ignore the Executor refusing to give one beneficiary any possessions and how can the Executor lie that she has no idea where my handgun is and also the lawyer lies about where the handgun is now and he gave his professional statement that the family does not have the gun...of course they don't now but they know who they sold it to or who they gave it to..!!!

 

[army judge]

The only thing I expected when I left was what he gave me as gifts and with as much in my savings as I had when I came into his life...the Executor slandered my name all over the area and to his friends, she told people I stole $50,000 from their mother, the amount of money kept going down each time, the IRA he had was a little more than $20,000 and they were telling people that he spent all his money on me, as I've explained I paid my share as I don't want to take advantage of any man. Her story then changed to I took her mother's belongings and sold them...in actuality if I hadn't paid my share they would not have gotten the amount of money from his will that they received. But how can someone steal the contents out of a gun safe, while I was still in the house, not list the money, the guns and anything else they took out? How can a judge ignore the Executor refusing to give one beneficiary any possessions and how can the Executor lie that she has no idea where my handgun is and also the lawyer lies about where the handgun is now and he gave his professional statement that the family does not have the gun...of course they don't now but they know who they sold it to or who they gave it to..!!!

Criminals, charlatans, scammers, and grifters should be avoided.

Don't get involved with anyone you don't know and trust implicitly.

My condolences upon the passing of your loved one, in his memory let it go, go live in peace.

You have your wonderful memories of the life you shared, that's worth more than a lousy twenty large.

You and he got along, don't expect his family, or your family to love you the way he did.

Now you know, if you ever encounter a interesting man, take your time, don't mix your finances, don't cohabit without benefit of marriage, and don't get married unles you know what you're getting yourself involved with.

 

[maggie&marlin]

Thank you so much "army judge"...I don't think my partner intended for things to turn out the way it did and neither did I but you are correct on one thing he did love me.

 

[army judge]

Thank you so much "army judge"...I don't think my partner intended for things to turn out the way it did and neither did I but you are correct on one thing he did love me.

You're welcome, make sure you grieve his passing and remember those ever so special great times, and those little everyday, quiet, peaceful, joyful moments.
May God bless and comfort you in this time of mourning and spiritual healing.