Bigamy? My daughter is terrified. What can I do?

[skee]

Jurisdiction

Iowa

I'm going through a divorce, and my wife had met another man who is married.

They started an affair. She then moved in with him and his wife. They are all agreeable to this. He and his wife have 3 kids.

She has integrated into the family and considers herself a co-mother and has become best friends with his wife.

The problem comes in that she takes our daughter there. I had been ok with it when I thought he was a single father, which is what she has told me until my daughter told me the truth yesterday.

My daughter has been keeping the secret for months, but she hates being there, is uncomfortable with the situation in many levels and has been anxious and depressed keeping the secret.

Now she's terrified that her mom will be angry at her for not keeping the secret.

When I confronted her, she happily admitted it.

She then said that she has formed "an unconditional family" and that my daughter will be integrated into our whether I or my daughter like it or not.

Is this a thing? Is this a common thing with a term and a definition? And if I don't like it, is there any recourse?

 

[army judge]

Is this a thing? Is this a common thing with a term and a definition? And if I don't like it, is there any recourse?

Anyone can use the pronoun THING to describe something.

I suggest you IMMEDIATELY ask your lawyer to fight you so that you can become the primary custodian of the minor child.

If you fail to use the law, your daughter will one day become the male pervert's additional "wife".

You might lose anyway, but that's your best shot, mate.

The 21st century sure ain't what it was cracked up to be, is it, boss?

 

[skee]

Sorry for the weird typos.

Most people I have asked have replied along the lines of "there's nothing illegal about it as long as he's only legally married to one of them".

I didn't really think it was illegal to begin with. But it still seems like a "wrong" situation. Just intuitively and morally an unfair situation to put a teenage girl in.

Is it likely the courts will take a similarly concrete stance? No laws broken, so live with it?

 

[army judge]

Ask your lawyer.
The court wants what is best for the child.
Most courts, even in UT, adhere to the legal philosophy, of "in the best interest of the child".
Again, discuss it with your lawyer.
Seek custody of the child.
If it were my child, my SOON TO BE FORMER SOUSE, could bed a tribe of aliens, a troop of monkeys, the 5th fleet, the Zangamooblah army, and a nation of Amazon warriors; don't care, won't affect me.

I would, however, instruct my lawyer to fight for me to obtain custody.

 

[txls]

I think the term she meant was "un-conventional" family or you could say "non-traditional".
Some would say that anything other than one female Mom and one male Dad is non-traditional.
I can understand your daughter being uncomfortable. Obviously they know it's unusual because they asked her to keep it secret. You can go to court and try to have his visitation curtailed, but I would say it's a 50/50 depending on the judge.