Baby in danger

Status
Not open for further replies.
W

Wheretoturn

New Member
My sons father & I broke up during my pregnancy. He moved in former girlfriend. At 8 months pregnant, gf contacted me accusing me of still "dealing with" the dad. After some heated discussion, gf asked me to take my baby & go away so that they can be happy. I took this as a threat & told gf to stay away from baby when born, she agreed. By the time my son was 2 months old, his father decided he wanted his son to be with gf regardless of what either of us wanted. I then got a No Contact order against gf as a threat to baby. In addition, dad signed waiver giving me sole custody at birth. Father saw son on only 5 occasions over a 6 month period-his choice-no interference from me. I actually begged him to spend time with son. Baby spent a day with father at about 6 months old & came home with a cough so bad he was vomiting. Dr initially thought it was whooping cough & ordered xrays. Luckily not, just really bad cold & asthma. I found out later (on facebook) that court order was violated & gf was with my son that day & they spent the day playing in water-hence the cold. I advised dad at that time that I would only agree to supervised visitation at that point. I found out that he had already filed for visitation (fyi-he had never been denied). I had previously filed for child support. When he found this out, he changed visitation to joint custody. Court is ignoring No Contact order & him CHOOSING not to have custody. I had to pay $206 just to be allowed in courtroom & have now been court ordered to pay another $1125 out of $1500 for mandatory court appointed litigator. Father does not help financially & I simply dont have the money. Single mom of 2. It seems as if, if I can't come up with this money, I have to send my now 7 month old baby to gf who does not want him around! What can I do? Where to turn?
 
It would appear that you have two options. 1) Pay the money to fight it (still may lose). 2) The father will get joint custody.

As far as the girlfriend goes, I don't see the threat based on the information provided. Assuming the Judge handling the case now doesn't either. Generally, the visiting parent is considered to be competent enough to wisely chose who the child is around during the visit. If you have proof to prove otherwise, you will need to show it in court.

I am sorry if what I wrote isn't what you wanted to read, but I don't see it any other way.

You have an uphill battle to gain an outcome to your liking, so I wish you luck.
 
Joint custody doesn't mean physical custody.
I don't see how it's ended up this way for you.
Did the alleged father establish paternity via DNA testing?
Forget that nonsense about anyone's name on a birth certificate.
Also forget being able to limit who the putative father brings around the child, unless you establish them to be a threat or danger to the child's welfare.
You need to Google "child custody YOUR STATE" and begin informing yourself about the law in your state.
You need to discuss this with an attorney (initial consultations are free) and speak with the state agency that assists you in collecting child support.
You also should not force him to see the child.
Most creatures like HIM don't want to be fathers, they just want to have sex.
He may be different, but forget about him.
You need to ficus on what is best for baby.

Also, why EXACTKY were you ordered to pay money?
We're you held in contempt?
What did YOU do to make this go off the tracks?
You never needed to establish custody for yourself, you had it by giving birth.
Start at the beginning and try to give us the facts.
We can point you in the right direction, but you must tell what got you here.
 
Last edited:
The waiver dad signed, was that scribbled on a paper bag, or done through the courts?
Dad had no waiver to sign, as unmarried fathers have no rights for children born outside of a lawful marriage.
Tell us about the waiver.
 
I think a lot of court houses also have waivers or other ways to assist people with little financial resources, or if it would create a hardship. You should speak to your local court to learn more. If nothing else, perhaps a payment plan. I don't see a ruling against you based on your ability to pay fees for a litigator or guardian ad litem.
 
The father was offered a DNA test but chose to sign the paternity affidavit without it. The custody waiver was attached to the affidavit & had to be signed BEFORE either of us could leave the hospital with the baby. The 3 options were #1- I give sole custody to the mother, #2- I wish to share custody with the mother or #3- in the best interest of the child, I wish to petition for sole custody. He chose #1.
The money issue came about as follows:
-a sheriff came to my job to serve me with an APPOINTMENT LETTER to go to the courthouse clerks office.
-i went to the office on the specified date & was told that an order for visitation has been filed & if I want to be able to speak in court on my own behalf I must pay $206
-i spoke to a judge to attempt to have the fee waived & was denied because my gross income is over the poverty level. (Thanks MorgansDaddy)
-the judge granted me a 60 day extension to come up with the money.
-i contacted the clerks office to inform them of the 60 day extension as instructed by the judge & they informed me that the court date was already scheduled in 24 days. Per the clerks office- a parent has a legal right to file for a court date for whatever reason regardless of the other parents inability to pay or appear & only the petitioner can request a continuance.
-i paid the $206 a went to court
-the judge asked me why the father isn't being allowed to see the baby & I informed her that he is, whenever he wants. She asked him why he filed & he told her because of the No Contact order against the gf. I gave the judge a copy of the order & a copy of the paternity affidavit & custody order.
-the judge ruled that the father is to have 2hrs per week supervised visitation at a community center as equidistant from both our homes as possible. Dates to be determined. In addition, she stated that or case is ineligible for mediation because we are both gainfully employed, thus she is appointing a child representative to determine what is in the best interest of the child. The fee for the rep is $1500 of which I am ordered to pay $1125 & the father is ordered to pay $375 simply because I earn more money.
-i spoke to the rep yesterday & asked for a payment plan & was told half now & half in 30 days. & this is just to be able to have the court ordered interview with her. Next court date is in October.
 
All of this sounds very normal. You can still look around to see what kind of legal aid is available.
What happens if you don't pay in full? Is dad likely to pay his share?

None of this really relates to the "Baby In Danger" headline. There does not appear to be any credible threat toward the child.
 
OP, your animus towards the "other" woman is the impetus behind this mess.
Had you not obtained the "no contact" order, you would not be in this position.
The "supervised" visits indicate something is amiss.
What that is wont be solved here.
You desperately need to clean this up, or this is going to snowball out of your control.
You can't determine who he brings around the baby, unless that person threatens the baby's safety.
Likewise, he can't do that for you, either.
One, or both of you have angered the judge.
Maybe it isn't anger, but something is wrong.
I suggest you consult some local attorneys.
Your efforts at practicing law has already cost you what you could have hired an attorney to fix this for you.
There are also single mother's support groups you can reach it to for assistance.
Your problem can't be fixed here.
You're going to need an attorney to represent you before you next appear in court.
Retain one, or appear and ask for a continuance because you're attempting to retain counsel.
 
The issue i have with the gf is the statement "u & ur baby need to just go away so I can b happy with my bf". This is a gf that he has been back & forth with for over 10 years. He has left her multiple times & she's the bust-ur-windows, slash-ur-tires type, so I stay away from her. & maybe I watch too much lifetime tv, but the fact that she is barren bothers me. Plenty of children have been killed by their parents' significant others. What makes mine different? Why wouldn't I be cautious of someone who feels that my childs existence threatens her happiness? How can I feel that my child is safe with her?
And yes, the father is likely to pay his share, its a lot less.
 
You need to explain and show to a Judge how she is a risk to child. Your assumptions are not enough. If you cannot do that you just look like an angry EX to Judge
 
@ armyjudge- this is not a "other" woman situation. if I feel that someone is not safe to be around my child, what would you suggest I do? I know it was an open statement, but how could I have angered a judge iv never met? What efforts at practicing law are you speaking of? In addition, I dont want his recently drug addicted sister who has started neglecting her children around my child. Do u feel that a no contact order against her would be a bad idea?
 
@shrinkmaster- you are correct. I think everyone just sees me as an angry EX. But my question is: what am I supposed to do if she decides to do something about my child making her relationship unhappy? Who's gonna give him back to me if she decides to make him a statistic?
 
I understand your concerns but legally you cannot do anything without somethng to support your concerns. If you check your PMs you will find a resource that might help you with some of your non legal issues
 
@shrinkmaster- yes. She shouldn't be allowed to be around her own children. If someone reported her she would likely lose her children. But thats beyond my immediate concern. What would you do about her being around your children?
 
Near top right hand corner is the word "messages" click ther eyou will find your PMS or private messages. Far as my children or even her own much depends on evidence that would give me cause for concern. If you feel her own children are at risk then you contact children's services. If they see concern they will act if that does happen you can use that fact to support a stay away order or the like
 
Wheretoturn said:
@ armyjudge- this is not a "other" woman situation. if I feel that someone is not safe to be around my child, what would you suggest I do? I know it was an open statement, but how could I have angered a judge iv never met? What efforts at practicing law are you speaking of? In addition, I dont want his recently drug addicted sister who has started neglecting her children around my child. Do u feel that a no contact order against her would be a bad idea?
Click to expand...



You cannot prove that she's a danger.

That's your problem. You can't just walk into court requesting an NCO without any proof.

You are really overthinking this entire situation, to be honest.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Share this page

Get a free case review from a lawyer
Back
Top