desertized
New Member
This is a long, long story, so let me cut to the end and why I think I might be able to have the agreement set aside.
I live in California but had moved to Bend, OR to be with my girlfriend and help her transition to living on her own after separating from her husband. Keep in mind I am paying rent and bills both here in Cali and in Oregon and half supporting my girlfriend. Months pass - big fight - I go back to cali - she goes to goes to court and lies and gets a restraining order and a civil staking case is opened. I come back to Bend. I get a lawyer, go back to Cali. She manages to get a criminal case of stalking against me. Months more go by as negotiations of a settlement are off and on. Her attorney was working for free and that eventually kept us from trial. Eventually, I had to come to Bend and have my attorney withdraw from the case and went Pro Se because I couldn't afford him. I had to attend a hearing in chambers the next day with her attorney. She runs over me in chambers and then files two motions. The judge by this time has the criminal and civil cases tracking. I'm sitting in a motel in Bend on the internet trying to figure out how to respond to her motions and do it correctly. It was overwhelming. I had almost no money left at this point. I'm also severely ADHD and researching law stuff is near impossible for me. My stress was peaking. I was even suicidal and had been for a while. That night I call a friend and say if I offer them this can I borrow the money from you. He agreed. I made the offer that night.
The next day I am in a laundrymat doing laundry and an email comes to my phone saying they will agree to my offer but I have to sign it before 3:30 that day or it was dead forever. That was three hours away. Her attorney already had a notary there and they were ready. So I finished my laundry and drove to her office. In the conference room she brought out an agreement and it included all of the further concessions I made so we could settle but none of the things that I wanted in exchange for those were included. So I said I can't sign in. Then we went back and forth over what i wanted. She drafted five or six versions over the next 45 minutes inching her way to what I was asking for until they finally arrived there. I wanted to go to starbucks and go over it more carefully since we had a full hour before the deadline. Her attorney said the notary was already here and we needed to execute this. So I did.
As soon as I left and started looking closer at the agreement, i saw several new things. I hadn't paid the money yet so I told her we needed to amend the agreement or i wasn't going t pay. I was told both parties signed and I couldn't do that. I would get in trouble if I didn't pay. Part of this agreement included a civil compromise to dismiss the criminal charges by the way. So here it is a month and half later and I feel better, I am about to sell my business and do something different with my life. I will have enough money to easily be able to challenge this agreement and here are the grounds I feel I have....
- I was under duress. Extreme stress and duress and I didn't have a clue what I was doing only a few days into Pro Se status and with no money.
- I am extremely ADHD. It's a disability and a condition under stress that is completely ill suited for the task that was before me.
- There are things in the agreement that some don't think are allowed under the law, or that are not enforceable. Two of my friends say that this passage..."9. This Order also prohibits any person or entity from aiding, abetting or otherwise assisting Respondent in any way to violate or attempt to violate any provision of this Order in any respect, and may be held in contempt of court for violating this Order. Respondent shall notify all such persons or entities in writing of the provisions and requirements of this Order."
They see that as a free speech issue. You see, I can't talk about her at all. But if my friends run into one of her friends and something is said about me, my friends believe they have the right to defend me and say whatever they damn well please and that they can't be bound by this agreement. It doesn't matter that the Petitioner and I signed it, we don't have a right to bind them and their free speech rights.
There is more, but I have said enough. I want to know if I can appeal this and have it set aside. I want to go to trial. I can afford it now. I signed an agreement that was totally once sided and there were things added that i was unaware of and most of all,. I was in a state of duress and stress and her attorney took advantage of that with the 3:30 deadline that same day. I was Pro Se by necessity only and I have a learning disability that makes it particularly hard for me to focus and especially when under stress. I'm fairly intelligent and cover it pretty well in daily life but it causes me great problems behind the scenes. I lose my keys and wallet all the time, i can't finish projects, i could go on and on.
Can I get this set aside? I know it will cost me. That's fine. THis is about principle now. I don't even want the money back from the settlement. I just want it vacated or set aside.
Thanks for any help you can give me.
I live in California but had moved to Bend, OR to be with my girlfriend and help her transition to living on her own after separating from her husband. Keep in mind I am paying rent and bills both here in Cali and in Oregon and half supporting my girlfriend. Months pass - big fight - I go back to cali - she goes to goes to court and lies and gets a restraining order and a civil staking case is opened. I come back to Bend. I get a lawyer, go back to Cali. She manages to get a criminal case of stalking against me. Months more go by as negotiations of a settlement are off and on. Her attorney was working for free and that eventually kept us from trial. Eventually, I had to come to Bend and have my attorney withdraw from the case and went Pro Se because I couldn't afford him. I had to attend a hearing in chambers the next day with her attorney. She runs over me in chambers and then files two motions. The judge by this time has the criminal and civil cases tracking. I'm sitting in a motel in Bend on the internet trying to figure out how to respond to her motions and do it correctly. It was overwhelming. I had almost no money left at this point. I'm also severely ADHD and researching law stuff is near impossible for me. My stress was peaking. I was even suicidal and had been for a while. That night I call a friend and say if I offer them this can I borrow the money from you. He agreed. I made the offer that night.
The next day I am in a laundrymat doing laundry and an email comes to my phone saying they will agree to my offer but I have to sign it before 3:30 that day or it was dead forever. That was three hours away. Her attorney already had a notary there and they were ready. So I finished my laundry and drove to her office. In the conference room she brought out an agreement and it included all of the further concessions I made so we could settle but none of the things that I wanted in exchange for those were included. So I said I can't sign in. Then we went back and forth over what i wanted. She drafted five or six versions over the next 45 minutes inching her way to what I was asking for until they finally arrived there. I wanted to go to starbucks and go over it more carefully since we had a full hour before the deadline. Her attorney said the notary was already here and we needed to execute this. So I did.
As soon as I left and started looking closer at the agreement, i saw several new things. I hadn't paid the money yet so I told her we needed to amend the agreement or i wasn't going t pay. I was told both parties signed and I couldn't do that. I would get in trouble if I didn't pay. Part of this agreement included a civil compromise to dismiss the criminal charges by the way. So here it is a month and half later and I feel better, I am about to sell my business and do something different with my life. I will have enough money to easily be able to challenge this agreement and here are the grounds I feel I have....
- I was under duress. Extreme stress and duress and I didn't have a clue what I was doing only a few days into Pro Se status and with no money.
- I am extremely ADHD. It's a disability and a condition under stress that is completely ill suited for the task that was before me.
- There are things in the agreement that some don't think are allowed under the law, or that are not enforceable. Two of my friends say that this passage..."9. This Order also prohibits any person or entity from aiding, abetting or otherwise assisting Respondent in any way to violate or attempt to violate any provision of this Order in any respect, and may be held in contempt of court for violating this Order. Respondent shall notify all such persons or entities in writing of the provisions and requirements of this Order."
They see that as a free speech issue. You see, I can't talk about her at all. But if my friends run into one of her friends and something is said about me, my friends believe they have the right to defend me and say whatever they damn well please and that they can't be bound by this agreement. It doesn't matter that the Petitioner and I signed it, we don't have a right to bind them and their free speech rights.
There is more, but I have said enough. I want to know if I can appeal this and have it set aside. I want to go to trial. I can afford it now. I signed an agreement that was totally once sided and there were things added that i was unaware of and most of all,. I was in a state of duress and stress and her attorney took advantage of that with the 3:30 deadline that same day. I was Pro Se by necessity only and I have a learning disability that makes it particularly hard for me to focus and especially when under stress. I'm fairly intelligent and cover it pretty well in daily life but it causes me great problems behind the scenes. I lose my keys and wallet all the time, i can't finish projects, i could go on and on.
Can I get this set aside? I know it will cost me. That's fine. THis is about principle now. I don't even want the money back from the settlement. I just want it vacated or set aside.
Thanks for any help you can give me.