age for dating

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wellsgirl19 said:
is it okay for a 16 year old girl to date a 28 year old man if they do not have sex ?
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You would be much better served asking your mother, father, or legal guardians.
The fact that you are here posing this questions says more than the words you typed.
Again, please dismiss this idea, and speak with mother, father, or guardian.
Even if one of us dummies told you it would be okay, that means nothing if your parents say NO.

Okay, we got that out of the way.
Here's your legal answer.

A normal, law abiding 28 year old ADULT wouldn't even think about dating ANY 16 year old minor.
Let's forget about sex for the moment, no right thinking ADULT (not related to a minor by marriage or birth) wouldn't even take a 16 year old MINOR to an ice cream parlor or a burger joint.

There are no uniform state laws that prohibit associations between minors and adults.

Many states have age-gap provisions that ignore certain "teen between teen (a lil past TEENHOOD)" sexuality as long as they are within a certain age range. Other states have "affirmative defense" clauses. In all states, dating, hugging, holding hands and kissing are not illegal. However, that depends on what the minor's parents or guardians have previously said. In MANY states, fondling, groping through the clothes, going to a place known as "3rd base", and hitting a "homerun" can cause great criminal difficulties for the adult. The minor could also end up pregnant, and possibly placed into foster care or a state (or county) juvenile home. Sexual activity isn't a crime, insofar as the minor/child is concerned, but it can be adjudicated a DELINQUENT ACT.

Most adults know that they are NEVER to touch any minor in a sexual way.

The law in Indiana, insofar as sex between adults and minors:

http://www.in.gov/legislative/ic/code/title35/ar42/ch4.html

http://www.ageofconsent.us/state-laws/indiana-age-of-consent-laws/

http://www.cga.ct.gov/2003/olrdata/jud/rpt/2003-r-0376.htm​
 
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If your parent say you may, then you may (although I would have serious doubts about your parents' judgment if they do)

If your parents say you may not, they may not.

No law anywhere in the US is going to force your parents to allow you to date someone they do not want you to date. So if you're hoping for something you can wave in their faces while you say, "See! You can't stop me!" alas, your hopes are doomed to be dashed on the rocks.

Otherwise, I can't improve on AJ's answer.
 
mightymoose said:
The 28 year old can still end up in jail even if there is no sex.
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Not for dating, he won't.

If the parents don't want him around, that's an easy one - restraining order fixes it (as much as is possible, at least)

If they're doing other..questionable...things but no intercourse, yeap - that can lead to trouble.

But other than that? He's not breaking any laws. Yet.
 
As for the situation itself?

Op. Please listen.

A 28 year old who wants to date you is doing something called "grooming". He doesn't care about you. He doesn't care about you one teeny little bit. His priority is to have you entrenched in his own little disturbed life.

He is going to break you down, emotionally, until you're so brow-beaten and tired that you'll go along with anything he says. HE WILL DO THIS. There are no exceptions. None. He is not the exception, he is not "different" and he definitely does not love you.

Why isn't he around people his own age? Because he doesn't feel equal, he doesn't feel accepted, he has no control. He feels inadequate.

Why is he around a 16 year old? Because he can control her, and that makes him feel less inadequate. She is vulnerable, she is impressionable and she doesn't have significant worldliness and she is eager to impress.

The truth is, he is a threat to any teen.
 
Proserpina said:
Not for dating, he won't.
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Well, if he encourages her to be out of her parents' control, run away, sneak out, etc. ... yeah, he probably can. Simply for running into her and holding hands at the park, no. But, if he encourages or aids her in any manner of delinquency, he might be held to account (depending on applicable state laws, of couse).

If the parents don't want him around, that's an easy one - restraining order fixes it (as much as is possible, at least)
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Most states are not going to permit a restraining order simply because this guy likes their daughter ... few states allow such an order without some form of threat or risk of harm.

If they're doing other..questionable...things but no intercourse, yeap - that can lead to trouble.
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BIG TIME!!

But other than that? He's not breaking any laws. Yet.
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Maybe he has ... maybe he/they got caught sneaking out and that's why she's asking. But, no violation has yet been mentioned.
 
Proserpina said:
As for the situation itself?

Op. Please listen.

A 28 year old who wants to date you is doing something called "grooming". He doesn't care about you. He doesn't care about you one teeny little bit. His priority is to have you entrenched in his own little disturbed life.

He is going to break you down, emotionally, until you're so brow-beaten and tired that you'll go along with anything he says. HE WILL DO THIS. There are no exceptions. None. He is not the exception, he is not "different" and he definitely does not love you.

Why isn't he around people his own age? Because he doesn't feel equal, he doesn't feel accepted, he has no control. He feels inadequate.

Why is he around a 16 year old? Because he can control her, and that makes him feel less inadequate. She is vulnerable, she is impressionable and she doesn't have significant worldliness and she is eager to impress.

The truth is, he is a threat to any teen.
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Ditto this in spades!! Oh, so true! ^^^^^
 
It would be best all around if you both found someone to date closer to your own ages.
 
Proserpina said:
Not for dating, he won't.

If the parents don't want him around, that's an easy one - restraining order fixes it (as much as is possible, at least)

If they're doing other..questionable...things but no intercourse, yeap - that can lead to trouble.

But other than that? He's not breaking any laws. Yet.
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I was talking about the lesser sex offenses and contributing to delinquency. A restraining order makes it easier from a law enforcement perspective but isn't needed to still land in jail. There is a reason girls under 18 are called jail bait- it is incredibly easy to find yourself locked up for fooling around with them.
 
And that's fine.

But since the OP said "dating", and did not hint at or say anything about the rest. I simply answered the question as is :cool:

Still, I strongly suggest the OP reads what I said.

I really, really, really hope she does. Or, he does.
 
There are no laws that define or restrict "dating" its when sex or sexual contact occur (does not have to be physical) that the laws apply. If your dates consist of hanging out at the mall hand holding (living like an unmarried Duggar) then you should be fine. Keep in mind sexual contact can be sexually themed text, nude or seminude photos, sexual chat, calls etc etc all cross the line.
 
The 16 year old girl is going to be "fine" legally speaking no matter what. She's not violating any laws.

But the 28 year old male who finds a girl 12 years younger to be an appropriate companion? He's got potential legal issues even if he never lays a finger on her.

Seriously, shrinkmaster. Would you let your 16 year old daughter "date" (under any definition) a 28 year old?
 
Lol you kidding my 17 year old isn't allowed to date lol I recall what I was like as a teen boy I am protecting them from teens like me!
 
f your dates consist of hanging out at the mall hand holding (living like an unmarried Duggar) then you should be fine.

This is true when it comes to sex crimes. Sex crimes are not the only crimes. And sexual harm is not the only kind of harm that can come to a 16 year old who is allowed to "date" someone 12 years older.

I don't want the poster to take the above statement of yours as encouragement. But with any luck, Mom and Dad have already put their collective foot down hard.

Go back and read Pro's post again.
 
If your familiar with Duggars they are the 19 and counting family. These children are only allowed "side hugs" as physical contact. My statement was a reference to show that this means "hands off" yes other things could equally violate law without any physical contact. 12 year olds need no date at all regardless of lack of physical contact in my view.
 
It's not a 12 year old. It's a 12 year age difference. My point is that we should not be in any way suggesting that a 16 year old and a 28 year old is any kind of "fine".
 
Depending how things actually go down, laws for contributing to delinquency, enticing, concealing, and court order violations all could be in play even if the 28 year old never lays a hand on the minor.
This all greatly depends upon how the parents decide to act on the matter.
Their "dating", if against the parents wishes, could still land the adult in jail.
 
mightymoose said:
Depending how things actually go down, laws for contributing to delinquency, enticing, concealing, and court order violations all could be in play even if the 28 year old never lays a hand on the minor.
This all greatly depends upon how the parents decide to act on the matter.
Their "dating", if against the parents wishes, could still land the adult in jail.
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My point exactly. Shrinkmaster's comment "you should be fine" implies first, that no legal action is possible as long as his qualifiers are met and second, that there is nothing wrong with a 28 year old who finds equal companionship with a 16 year old when, in fact, neither is true.
 
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