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bryankeri

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This is a long story so bare with me...My husband seperated from his ex-wife in 2006. The went through a company called We the People and wrote their own divorce decree. He signed the divorce papers in July 2007 and trusted her to turn them in. They waved their rights to get notified after they were filed. We met in July of 2007 and got married in Aug of 2008. Later found out she didn't turn the papers in until Aug 2009. The ex-wife and 2 children live in Nevada, we live in Texas. We see the kids for about 8 weeks every summer and have the for Christmas every odd year. We are allowed to have them every holiday on odd years, but it is too expensive. We, just my husband, or just myself will fly to Nevada some during the year to see them for a couple days. Because they wrote their own papers, they are pretty much stupid and cater to her. The papers state that my husband is to pay $1083/month which comes out to $499.85/paycheck since he gets paid every other week. Between 2006 and 2008, he gave her money for her rent, her car insurance, payment, and upkeep on top of support for the children. We have actual proof from bank statements that he gave over $16000 to her from July 07-March 08. When he moved to Texas, they came to a verbal agreement of $360/paycheck to help with costs for flights to see the kids. He then began paying $360/paycheck and still sent extra money anytime she asked. We have proof of this too. Unfortunatley, they did not go through the courts, he just paid her directly. We recently had a child together and when he told her I was pregnant, she flew off the handle. She then went to the NV child support office and said that he hasn't been paying the amount they agreed on, conveniently leaving out the verbal agreement and all the extras. He had to go to court in TX and they made him pay $7400 in arrearages. They would not even look at out proof of the extra payments, thank God that he put "child support" in the memo column every time he sent the $360 so they accepted that.

Now, she took him back to court today to take the kids off his insurance and put them on her current husband's, in turn adding $200/month to my husband's child support payments. The judge is making him pay the total amount of insurance premium for his kids, his ex-wife, her husband, and his 2 kids, on top of out seperate insurance fo me, our daughter, and himself.

The papers state that they each claim 1 child on taxes each year, but she has claimed both for 2009, 2010, and 2011.

The papers state that Mother must get children to Father for visitation. She refuses to meet us when we are at his parents for Christmas, which is 8 hours away. She refuses to let them fly unaccompanyed, even though they are of age. And she refuses to fly them down to TX. Therefore, we have to pay for my husband to fly up there and get them, bring them to TX, fly back with them, and himself fly back. Or, if we are at his parent's, she makes us or his parent's drive the 8 hours there and 8 hours back to get them. Otherwise, we won't see them.

Just to tell you what kind of person she is...she doesn't have a highschool diploma, she has supposedly gone and graduated from beauty school to cut hair, but she doesn't do anything with it. She does not have a job and has not had one since 2008. She lives off my husband and her current husband, while we both have jobs and barely make it and recently had to file for bankruptcy. Not saying she is a bad mother, but we don't exactly see eye to eye on our child raising. The kids are aloud to talk back and roll their eyes, they are only fed ramen noodles and macaroni and cheese. They are told that their Dad moved away because he didn't want to be near them. The girls told us this past summer that they have a game where they are allowed to sit up front in the car, but if they see an police car, they have to duck, and she's married to a COP!

Since you cannot change the divorce papers but every 3 years, we have to endure this another year. Is there anything we can do until then? Do we have a leg to stand on? Is it just me or does she take advantage of the system? Also, since we have them for so long in the summer, should we have to pay her child support since we are supporting the children?
 
Don't talk about what kind of person she is. She's the kind of person your husband chose to be the mother of his children.

(And really - I strongly doubt the children are only ever fed ramen and mac and cheese. Embellishing doesn't do you any good here).

I'm not entirely sure what your husband wants to do. (Are you even legally married? Since he was already married at the time?)

He is absolutely required to pay child support when the children are with him. Child support is figured for the year and then divided. If he didn't pay during the summer, he'd simply pay more each of the other months.

With regards to transportation, Mom isn't obliged to get the children to your husband's parents. Only to your husband.
 
Proserpina summed it up quite well, OP.

There might be an out for the man that impregnated you, however.

He should check to see that he was divorced.

He just might still be married to the greedy cow that he allegedly once married.

If he is still married, that changes many things for the better (financially anyway).

Sometimes those "DIY" divorce purveyors fail to instruct you as to what must be done to effect a formal divorce decree.

In this case, if that happened, it could be used by your man to throw water back in the face of the greedy cow he tried to dump
 
In all fairness to Mom, Dad got himself into this mess by not going through the courts to get the lower amount put in writing.

In any event, what the Judge did was legal. I strongly recommend Dad gets an attorney the next time he's in court.
 
I didn't type all this to get scolded. I just want advice. I understand, I tell my husband the same thing, there must be some redeeming qualities since you married her in the 1st place.

Yes, we are legally married, we looked into it.

I understand that she is not obligated to get them to his parents, i.e. I stated she won't bring them to us either.

I was just getting the story out there and background as I see it. And yes, maybe I wrote it wrong, but they will only eat ramen noodles and macaroni and cheese, literally. I have been over there several times and that is what they are eating every time. We talk to them nightly and my husband asks "What are you eating for dinner?" and they reply with 1 or the other, so don't tell me I don't know.

You are talking at me just like everyother person in the system does. My husband is not a dead beat and he loves his kids very much. Life dealt him a tough hand and he is doing the best he can. He pays his child support EVERY paycheck and has never been late. I just wanted to see if there is anything we can do, or are we just going to keep getting screwed because she takes advantage of the "Mom" catering system? Also, don't take my last satement offensive. I have friends that have deadbeat baby daddys and this system is WONDERFUL for the Mothers that need it, but it does not help the good father unless you have tons of money to fight her with, which we don't.
 
I completely agree. That was stupid, but he trusted her. Has never had any real problems until he told her we were pregnant. And why in the world do we have to pay for her whole family's insurance, thats not right.
 
Dad can file a motion to show cause if Mom won't bring the kids to him as per her court order.

I'm thinking that Mom's husband's insurance premium is the same whether it's for one dependent or 5; hence the judge ordering Dad to pay the full amount.

(That's how ours works)
 
Dad can file a motion to show cause if Mom won't bring the kids to him as per her court order.

I'm thinking that Mom's husband's insurance premium is the same whether it's for one dependent or 5; hence the judge ordering Dad to pay the full amount.

(That's how ours works)

You're probably right, Pro.

But, its a diabolical and perverted way of making dad pay for her and her new bed mate's health care.

I'm thinking a clever lawyer could stop the lazy cow from using the court to "steal" from dad under the guise of "child support"!
 
So how is that right? Why don't they divide it between the 6 of them and add the 2/6ths to the child support, why do we have to pay for their whole families insurance premium?
 
I agree! We are working on saving money to get a lawyer to fight her(so hard to do with the high medical bills and high child support). I just don't think its right that she can just go down there and add money to the child support any chance she gets, but the Father has to hire a lawyer and pay tons of money to get anything changed. And they told him we can't change anything until the 3 years is up, but she can go anytime? Makes zero sense to me. Again with the Mom Catering System.
 
She didn't "just go down there" at any time. She had a change of circumstance - the insurance.

But you're correct Dad now can't change anything within the statutory time period unless HE has a change of circumstance.

(And really, this isn't the correct venue for ranting :) )
 
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