19 years and no child support, too late?

[plysundance]

Jurisdiction

New York

my mom raised me alone with my grandparents. she asked my dad for child support and when they went to court he cried his friend committed suicide so he can't work from how traumatized he was. well he never paid and went to work. my mom never brought it up again and i never saw him again after that (i was around 5 years old). so now i'm 19 years old and he hasn't paid a days worth as far as i know. i want to know if i can sue him for child support? do i have to be in college to do so or what if it's just regular adult skill classes or no school at all? i really would love advice because i need money for school. i confronted him and he said my mom wouldn't let him pay her, but that makes zero sense since he wouldn't even visit me or send me presents for holidays/birthdays... not to mention now he's with a girl who already has a kid and they're raising her together. it's kind of upsetting to me.

 

[army judge]

i want to know if i can sue him for child support?

No, you have no claim to any child support.

If he does get taken back to court for the unpaid child support, its your mommy that has to bring that action.

The child support, even if he had paid it, was never yours.
The child support was for your mommy to assist her with the expense of bringing you along to childhood.

Welcome to my world, the evil land of adulthood, where if you don't work (or find a sucker to support you), you don't eat, push a shopping cart around all day loaded with junk, and end up homeless living under a railroad trestle.

 

[KatDini]

Then mayhaps counseling is in order. Since no CS order was established during your minority, your mother cannot do anything about it now. Child support is meant to reimburse the custodial parent for expenses of raising a child, not mean for the child personally.

 

[leslie82]

my mom raised me alone with my grandparents. she asked my dad for child support and when they went to court he cried his friend committed suicide so he can't work from how traumatized he was. well he never paid and went to work. my mom never brought it up again and i never saw him again after that (i was around 5 years old). so now i'm 19 years old and he hasn't paid a days worth as far as i know. i want to know if i can sue him for child support? do i have to be in college to do so or what if it's just regular adult skill classes or no school at all? i really would love advice because i need money for school. i confronted him and he said my mom wouldn't let him pay her, but that makes zero sense since he wouldn't even visit me or send me presents for holidays/birthdays... not to mention now he's with a girl who already has a kid and they're raising her together. it's kind of upsetting to me.

If there is a child support order, any money would go to your mother. Not you. You cannot sue him for child support but your mom can take him to court for contempt.

You better find another way to pay for college. Your mother nor you is ever going to see a dime of that money.

 

[Highwayman]

my mom never brought it up again

Then it's her fault - she should have dragged Dad back into court. Way too late to correct this now. It's all water under the bridge.

 

[zddoodah]

she asked my dad for child support and when they went to court he cried his friend committed suicide so he can't work from how traumatized he was.

Interesting to know that your father was traumatized about his friend's suicide, but it's ultimately an irrelevant bit of information. What would have been helpful to know is what the court ordered in terms of child support.

i want to know if i can sue him for child support?

Anyone can sue anyone for anything. However, if you were to sue, you'd lose and possibly get sanctioned for filing a frivolous lawsuit. Your father may have had an obligation to your mother (as noted above, it's not clear if that's the case), but he never had any monetary obligation to you.

i need money for school.

So get a job and/or apply for student loans.

If the court ordered your father to pay child support to your mother, then it's up to her to try and collect it. If she does so successfully, then you can ask her to give you money.

 

[txls]

Although I think most of us would agree that your father had a moral obligation to support you financially, if your mother did not pursue it in court then he had no legal obligation. I can understand this being upsetting to you and unfortunately it happens a lot. Be thankful that your mother and grandparents were there to take care of you and focus your thoughts in that positive direction. Now that you're an adult, work hard to put yourself in a position to be able to take care of yourself.

 

[ElleMD]

Have you spoken to your mother? If there was an order, she can file for contempt and he will be ordered to pay. She can give you that money if she is willing to do so. She does not have to, but might be willing. It may not be much if it was set 14 years ago and while your father was not working. There is a minimum amount that is "standard" even if the other parent isn't working. If your mother dropped the request in light of his situation and never filed again, then he doesn't owe anything at all.