16 year old placed in jeopardy of emotional, psychological and financial damage

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BeckyK

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My 16 year old son was asked by his step mother to be a sperm donor for a friend of hers who could not conceive with her husband. This couple was brought home to meet my son by the step mother and He agreed. He gave a specimen directly to the couple who did not use a physician but an at home insemination kit. This was done with the full knowledge and approval of his father who shares joint custody with me. This occurred last Thursday and I am just now finding out about it. My 16 year old son did this willingly but is emotionally vulnerable due to having lost his brother to cancer recently. He claims he is very happy to give the most precious gift of life to someone. To have even asked him was manipulative and unethical to say the least. In the state of Indiana known sperm donors where a physician was not used have been sued for child support successfully. My son denies that he will suffer any emotional impact, but I do not believe a 16 yo can determine if he will feel any regret down the road that he gave away his 1st born biological child. I am told that this couple paid him for the specimen but do not know if that has any bearing. Just asking this of a child is bizarre and icky and very very wrong. My son's father and step mother have failed to look after the best interest of my child to protect him from harm. In fact they potentially put him directly in harms way. Neither his father or his step mother think they have done anything wrong and say it was completely our son's decision. I have no money for a lawyer. I do not know if this falls under criminal or civil or whether this is a case for Child protective services. It sounds like this is potentially exploitation of a minor but I do not know if it meets the criteria for that, I do feel it falls under abuse in the form of neglect and failing to protect the interests of the child. I do not know the name of the couple who solicited the sperm and my ex husband is not about to give it to me. I need to know where to turn to protect my child from participating in this again if he is asked by this couple again, and how to protect him from legal ramifications in the future if a child was conceived. There is no way to protect him for future emotional or psychological impact. Where do I turn?
 
Contact child protective services. They will look in to it and it won't cost you a dime. Child services will get law enforcement involved.
Don't do nothing.

This is bad for every adult involved.
 
Thanks. One problem is that my ex husband.. the father, IS a police officer! and it's a small community so I'm not really optomistic that anything will come of it, how ever, I think it will be enough of an embarrasment for him to be very very careful not to do anything ever again that appears not to be in the kids' best interest. This is the most Bizarre thing and I can't believe this is happening. I'm not used to going through things that should be on the Jerry springer show.
 
mightymoose, can that Indiana(?) Police Officer be charged with aiding and abetting a minor (i.e. to donate sperm)?
 
I don't think there are any actual laws about sperm donation, just medical ethics and they didn't go through a Dr, so no one could stop it from that angle before it got this far. Sperm Banks have rules about being 18 or over, but they cut out the sperm bank as well. There aren't very many laws that I could find in this country about sperm donation. But I've been searching the internet and am just the mother with out much knowlege of the law besides having been married to an unethical policeman. I'm afraid that any way you look at it theres no legal precedent for this and it's going to have to be gone at on the merrits of the thing, nothing black and white in the law.
 
There are minimum age requirements to donate blood, or to get a tattoo... so I imagine there could be some age requirement to *officially* donate sperm.
(I am not an attorney, or even a law school student)
 
This would not be considered sperm donation in the legal sense - hence any laws pertaining to legal sperm donation would not apply.
 
This is what I'm afraid, of the safe guards for all of this are medical ethics policies. There don't seem to be any laws. And all the avenues that would have normally prevented this from happening were bypassed. I've been looking at the Indiana IC codes(and I'm no lawyer so I hope I'm missing some angle here) but I don't see where this falls under anything in the child abuse or neglect laws. I'm afraid I'm going to be told that while this was unethical and immoral nothing done. I can't find where putting your child at risk for anything other than tangible physical danger is against the law. A 16 year old can't enter into a legal contract so there was no way to have provided him with even the simple written agreement most of these do it your self known sperm donors would generally print off the internet and sign. It's so bizarre and so Wrong there should be some protection legally, but I can't see where to turn for this and on what grounds. I am going to call CPS, but I'm honesty so tired and stressed right now that I'm afraid I'm going to be the one that comes off as the nut job when I try to explain my complaint and I wont be taken seriously, and I'm afraid it wont meet their criteria and it will never be investigated anyway.
 
mightymoose, can that Indiana(?) Police Officer be charged with aiding and abetting a minor (i.e. to donate sperm)?

I'm not sure that would be the appropriate offense, and I don't know Indiana statutes. I suspect the appropriate charge should be more along the lines of sexual abuse.

Unless the woman actually becomes pregnant there may not be much evidence of anything.
 
I do have text messages and computer messages between myself and my son, as well as the father and myself and the step mother.. Where they basically do admit that all of this happened. I also believe my son would answer questions honestly from anyone investigating but then again I can not be absolutely sure if he were coached to do otherwise.
 
Thanks. One problem is that my ex husband.. the father, IS a police officer!

His status as a police officer really will not help him. It will make it harder for him to explain himself if he tries.

I suggest you start with social services. Someone needs to talk with your son and learn the details of exactly how everything happened. Start there instead of with police.

With a quick glance at your state statutes it appears your son, at age 16, is just outside the limits of the sex crime lawslaws, but it really depends on the specifics of HOW things occurred. It appears the statute regarding seduction is the most fitting based on his age, but more information is needed.

There are still civil steps you can take, primarily by attempting to obtain a protective order or by changing custody/visitation orders.
 
I've been looking at the Indiana IC codes(and I'm no lawyer so I hope I'm missing some angle here) but I don't see where this falls under anything in the child abuse or neglect laws.

Look under Crimes Against the Person/Sex Crimes.

Your sons age is a significant factor as MOST of the laws protect children UNDER 16.
 
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I do have text messages and computer messages between myself and my son, as well as the father and myself and the step mother.. Where they basically do admit that all of this happened. I also believe my son would answer questions honestly from anyone investigating but then again I can not be absolutely sure if he were coached to do otherwise.

Important things to know are whether there was any touching, or if your son was allowed to view anyone/anything sexual. HOW did they collect from him.

You don't need to tell me these things. This is information you need to determine how to proceed. Again, social services will get this info if you don't already have it. I can't imagine they would disregard a report of possible sex abuse.
 
I didn't consider the sex crime aspect (and yes the age of consent is 16 in Indiana but ever changing) He provided his "donation" into a specialized specimen cup that came with kit and was provided to him by the couple. He obtained it in privacy and was never touched by any other individual so I just assumed that would be a tough sell to a prosecutor. Are there laws covering the sale of organs? and might bodily fluids be covered if there are?
 
There may not be anything criminal that occurred, however that does not mean you are helpless in the situation. You can still seek assistance of social services and look into custody/visitation issues.
 
I didn't consider the sex crime aspect (and yes the age of consent is 16 in Indiana but ever changing) He provided his "donation" into a specialized specimen cup that came with kit and was provided to him by the couple. He obtained it in privacy and was never touched by any other individual so I just assumed that would be a tough sell to a prosecutor. Are there laws covering the sale of organs? and might bodily fluids be covered if there are?


No sex crime occurred.

There was laws pertaining to selling organs, but sperm is not generally covered.

I'm not even seeing a custody issue in all honesty - and that's even if the court believes that your son was somehow coerced.

I really do feel for you, Becky. This is lousy parenting on behalf of Dad but, essentially, once your son decided to "gift" his sperm he has no legal protection about what happens afterwards (in terms at least what the donation is used for).
 
No sex crime occurred.

Assuming it happened the way mom was told, no.

It is very possible it happened another way that a 16 year old boy was not comfortable discussing with his mom.

The Indiana statute regarding seduction is a close fit that depends on the details, and is certainly worthy of investigation.
 
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