what can I do?

I'm really confused and need advice. About 9 months ago while I was dating with my ex-fiance, he helped my put a thousand dollars down on my new car in cash, with out me even asking him to. I told him I didn't know when I could pay him back and felt uncomfortable taking his money. He said not to even worry about it. He then gave me that speech "his money was my money and my money was his money" bull crap. Still I'm not the kind of person who likes to take money from others so I told him one day I'd try to pay him back. Again he told me not to even worry about it. We broke up about 4 months later. Now he wants his money and I can't pay him. I've tried to talk to him about it and he keeps telling me when I get it I get it, but then behind my back he's telling friends of ours that if I don't pay him soon he's going to do all kinds of things. I feel like he's going through our friends to threaten me. I know its moraly wrong not to pay him, but I can't right now. What can he do to me and what can I do to protect myself until I can get the money? Your advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank You, Rachel

Well, Judge Judy would tell ya it was a gift, and you don't owe it back. He offered, he gave, and in the beginning, said he didn't want it back.

Seems like a gift to me.....

Funny Rathi, I do hear J. Judy's voice in my head. However, she isn't always correct about the law from what I've seen. The People's Court did a better job of researching the law although that too could become an entertainer's paradise. My understanding is that generally money given in the context of a loan is a loan and not a gift. However, when there are circumstances that may change the context of the money given then the money provided can be considered to be a gift. I might be thinking about the law this way due to tax cases but cannot be sure at the moment...

In this instance it doesn't sound as though there was ever an intent to be paid back and given the context of your relationship, this is a credible position. Perhaps he was trying to show off. This may be a case that, if it gets to a judge or arbitrator, might ultimately be decided upon credibility of the parties and any witnesses. Judge Judy would probably want to hear what the ex has to say and whether he would stumble with the payback issue which could likely be "whenever you have the money" theme.

I'm not sure it is "morally wrong" to accept a gift if someone wants to do it for you. Perhaps a part of you may know that your ex said the words but was trying to be the proud man. That is noble of you to take your position if this is the case. People must be accountable for their actions. At the same time, if you think this was a loan, you haven't provided me with reasons to think otherwise.

rachel22 said:

I'm really confused and need advice. About 9 months ago while I was dating with my ex-fiance, he helped my put a thousand dollars down on my new car in cash, with out me even asking him to. I told him I didn't know when I could pay him back and felt uncomfortable taking his money. He said not to even worry about it. He then gave me that speech "his money was my money and my money was his money" bull crap. Still I'm not the kind of person who likes to take money from others so I told him one day I'd try to pay him back. Again he told me not to even worry about it. We broke up about 4 months later. Now he wants his money and I can't pay him. I've tried to talk to him about it and he keeps telling me when I get it I get it, but then behind my back he's telling friends of ours that if I don't pay him soon he's going to do all kinds of things. I feel like he's going through our friends to threaten me. I know its moraly wrong not to pay him, but I can't right now. What can he do to me and what can I do to protect myself until I can get the money? Your advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank You, Rachel

Click to expand...