What are my husbands rights?

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TinaTina

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My husband has joint custody of his 2 1/2 year old son, however we only get to have him on the weekends. In the very near future, our stepson's mother is getting married. We just found out that while she and her new husband are on their honeymoon, they plan to have our stepson stay with some friends. When we found this out of course we asked her if we could keep him while she's gone and she has told us no that she has already made the arrangements and since this lady babysits often and works at his preschool that she feels that it will keep him in a more "normal" situation while Mama is gone. It's only a week and we don't understand how being with friends is better than being with Daddy. Does he have the right to fight this? What if he shows up at daycare to pick his son up? Shouldn't he automatically be the next caregiver in line for situations like this? Please help.
 
This is just from personal experience.....

I assume this is court ordered, because you mentioned your husband has joint custody. I believe joint entails a lot more than weekends, and if in the original agreement, more than weekends were agreed to, (ie 6 months of the year, 2 weeks/month, etc.) I think it would be up to you/your husband to get this resolved through the court system. She must adhere to the parenting plan that was originally agreed on.

UNLESS it's a "scheduled" time that you are to have the children, as agreed in the parental plan, it's really up to "mom" to decide where the child will stay if she isn't to be keeping him.
(going out of town, etc)


If you guys can "get along" with mom, that's in your best interest. I really fechin' hate my ex, but I try hard to work with her, so that my wife and I may spend, sometimes, more time with my 2 kids. Things such as her going on vacation, and we keeping them during that time, that's just stuff we have to work out amongst each other........ If you're going straight "by the book", or trying to follow the agreement to a T, it's very difficult at times.

Wish I could help more, wish you luck w/this situation. Anything involving kids/ex's is very difficult to work with. I admire you, as I do my wife, for trying to help your husband with this type of problem. I'm sure it's quite awkward for him, as it is for me at times.. :D
 
Thank you for your thoughts on this and for the compliment. I try my best to support him rather than cause him more stress. I know he gets enough of that without me. I do what I can to help.

The agreement, which is a binding agreement includes the amount of time we get to spend with our son. But unfortunately it's limited to specifics on weekend and holidays. Every Friday to Saturday night (6:00pm) and every other year for Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, Forth of July and.... I think that's it. No vacation time, no summer school or anything. It was one of those things where my husband just wanted to finally agree and get it over with. Unfortunately it left some things out. It sounds like from what you're saying, is that he has no say in where his son stays. That's really a shame. He plans to talk to his ex about it again this weekend and tell her that if she doesn't agree to it that he will have to go back to his lawyer. Hopefully that will work as a scare tactic and he won't have to do that. He really doesn't want to. Everything has been just perfect up until this came along.

Anyways, thanks again for your thoughts. If you have more I'd love to hear them! ;)
 
If you ever go for a modification of custody and visitation; have a first right of refusal added. This way anytime mom is going to be away for say...over 2 to 4 hours from the child...she has to contact your husband first before arranging for a babysitter, or family member to watch the child.

Edited for spelling error.
 
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