Concerned About New "Doctor" for Elderly Relative

Jurisdiction
California
First I want to apologize for asking a long and complicated question. I wasn't sure what category to put it in so I put it here. I believe I asked a similar question here some time ago, but (a) this is different, and (b) I couldn't find my previously asked question either.

I have an elderly relative for whom I have medical POA and for whom I am also listed as the executor of their estate. My relative lives in a continuous care facility. I am their closest blood relative. I live 1/2 way across the country from them and have, myself, become disabled, though I do have a good job and am still working full time with accommodation. It would be impossible for me to travel to California to see for myself what is going on. So whatever I do to look out for my relative needs to be done at a distance.

My relative has wanted to invoke their state's "Death With Dignity" law ever since it became law. It allows terminally ill people to choose when and where to end their life, with a prescription for a lethal dose of a drug. The law specifically excludes old age as a qualifying "terminal" illness. And my relative doesn't have a terminal illness. In fact they are remarkably healthy, physically, except for some knee pain and a possible heart problem that developed years ago after a car accident. They still have a top notch heart doctor, who says their heart is in great shape now, and keeps telling them their heart isn't likely to kill them anytime soon.

However this relative has had life-long struggles with mental health issues, including recurring depression. My relative is suspicious of what they call "the medical-industrial complex," and has always refused all medically prescribed treatment for mental health conditions. I.e., they would rather commit physician-assisted suicide than take an anti-depressant. I have been on numerous conference calls with my relative and their primary care doctor about this issue, to no avail. My relative is attracted to, and uses, a number of alternative remedies recommended by alternative practitioners for various things. My relative does not have dementia. But the isolation of the global pandemic definitely has made her depression, hopelessness, and isolation worse.

This situation has taken an alarming turn. My relative found a foreign doctor, who appears to be an MD but who mostly lives and practices overseas. This foreign doctor told my relative to immediately stop (cold turkey!) taking a hormone medication the relative has taken for the past 80 (sic) years. My relative's childhood doctor prescribed it to them as a teenager. Other doctors have tried, unsuccessfully, to wean them off it, and have reduced it to the lowest possible level before dangerous symptoms started setting in. This foreign dr told my relative to stop taking that medication altogether (which could be dangerous) and prescribed another medication to lower my relative's blood pressure, which already borders on too low all the time, roughly 100/55 (sic) or so. Doing these 2 things at once could kill them. I asked to speak to the foreign dr who will not return emails or phone calls. My relative says the doctor lives in India. The facility where my relative lives was somehow involved ... I'm not exactly sure how ... in putting this foreign dr in touch with several of their residents.

I try not to be a paranoid person, but the worst-case scenario seems to me like the facility is trying to bump off the oldest and longest-term residents (who don't pay as much as newer patients) so they can have space to bring in new higher-paying patients. I don't really want to accuse them of anything like that because I have absolutely no proof whatsoever. But I'm just very concerned that something doesn't smell right to me here.

So finally my question: What are my options here?

Thank you for reading this far. I'm looking forward to any decent thoughts and ideas I can get.
 
You can check with the Medical Board of California at Home | MBC to see if this doctor is licensed to practice in the state.

Their consumer assistance number is (800) 633-2322 or you can send them a message using the web site.
 
So finally my question: What are my options here?

You state that she does not have dementia and is generally in good health, apart from what I gather is some depression. You also state that you have been nominated in her will as executor of her estate and you have POA that allows you to do things on her behalf as granted in the POA. So to start with, if she is legally competent it is up to her to make decisions about what she does and what doctors to consult. Her choices will override any different choice you would make with the POA. Being nominated as executor of her estate means nothing until AFTER she dies, the will is submitted to the court, and the court overseeing probate has appointed you as executor.

With that background, your options are limited. As suggested by others you may contact the CA
Department of Aging to see what services it may be able to offer and check with the state medical board to see if the doctor is licensed in California.

You may also hire a mental health professional (e.g. psychiatrist or psychologist) to assess her condition to ensure she is indeed competent and to provide her help for her depression, assuming she's willing to go along with that.

Being stuck in a nursing facility can be rather lonely. One of the key things for those who care about the person in that kind of facility to do is to ensure she gets relatively frequent contact so she can stay connected to others and the outside world.

If she becomes incompetent and if your POA is a durable POA then you'd get to make decisions for her to the extent allowed by the terms of the POA. If that's not enough, you'd need to go to court in California and seek guardianship/conservatorship over her and her assets.

You might want to consult a CA elder law attorney for other suggestions about what can be done in this situation.
 
First I want to apologize for asking a long and complicated question.
I don't have anything to add to the response you've already received, but I have to admit that I am curious why you felt the need to (attempt to) obscure her gender.
 
I don't have anything to add to the response you've already received, but I have to admit that I am curious why you felt the need to (attempt to) obscure her gender.

To protect both her privacy and also safety. Apparently I slipped and used the pronoun "her" so my bad. For all I know there may be staff at her facility who read this forum, and I wouldn't want anything bad to happen as a result of me posting about this situation here.
 
To protect both her privacy and also safety. Apparently I slipped and used the pronoun "her" so my bad. For all I know there may be staff at her facility who read this forum, and I wouldn't want anything bad to happen as a result of me posting about this situation here.

You write six paragraphs about it and you think gender is what is going to give it away?
 
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