Dependent taxes, among other things

S

Scream

New Member
Jurisdiction
Vermont
Hey all, I could use a bit of help solving a significant issue I have. I apologize, it's a bit long. I am deep in this, and could use somebody on the outside looking in and telling me what my legal options are, rather than my options ruled by my emotions.

I wasn't sure where to put this, I apologize if it's in the wrong place. There's a lot to this.

The backstory:

My ex and I have a kid in 2011. We separate in 2013. She takes our daughter, and withholds contact. The court sees this, as well as her bipolar as a reason to award full custody to me.

She tries to get custody back several times, always fails. She lies several times to police/the courts in an attempt to get me arrested. Long court battles ensue (as they always believe a potential victim).

She tried a criminal case (telling the court I beat her). I prove my innocence.

She tried a juvenile case (telling the Department of Children and Families I raped our child). I prove my innocence.

She tries several family cases (claiming she's in a better place now, and deserves full custody). She fails.

2019 rolls around, and she claims our child on her 2018 taxes. The IRS doesn't seem to care, and rejects my taxes. I tell her she can't do that, our daughter lives with me. She's my dependent to claim. I tell her I will take her to court, and report it to the IRS unless she pays me what it cost me to not claim her. She does so.

2020 comes around. No issue with my 2019 taxes.

2021, once again she has claimed her on her 2020 taxes. This effects my COVID relief, as well as my return. She claims it was an accident, and won't happen again. I decide to let cooler heads prevail, and not report it.

I get married in October of 2021. My wife knows of these issues, and is supportive.

2022, once again she claims our child on her 2021 taxes. This messes up the COVID relief, my taxes, and my wife's taxes.

This is where we are now. January 30th 2022, my taxes from 2018, and 2020 are in limbo somewhere with the IRS. My taxes, and my wife's 2021 taxes have not been filed yet.

I am exhausted from having to defend myself. There has been some major issue every year since 2013.

What can I do to:
Protect myself from future absurd false allegations.
Ensure she stops claiming her on her taxes.
Receive my returns from 2018, and 2020.
 
Sorry, scream, nothing will prevent bad things from happening in the future, all you can do is clean up the mess afterward. Even court orders can be violated, with appropriate consequences, of course.

As for the tax issues, stick around, we have a tax attorney here who can address them for you.
 
Your taxes may be rejected when filed electronically, but you can file a paper return. The IRS will reach out to both parties asking for proof of who is entitled to take the deduction.

As for the 2018 returns - you've been compensated. Do you intend to reimburse your ex once you get your money from the IRS?
 
For 2018 I think the IRS hasn't processed the OP's refund yet, though his ex did pay him the difference in refunds created by her improperly claiming their child. His beef there is with the IRS.

For 2020 did you claim your daughter or not? If not you can file an amended paper return claiming her.

For 2022 you will have to file a paper return as noted by Zigner.

You and your wife should also adjust your withholding so that you owe a little to the IRS instead of getting a refund every year, because obviously you can't stop your ex-wife from e-filing before you do. The IRS is processing paper returns very slowly and there's no point in waiting 12-18 months for your own refunds.
 
If he files on paper with the dependent claimed by someone else, the next thing that will happen is the IRS will kick out letters to both of them (accompanied by a convenient 1040X) asking them to verify that they declared the dependent correctly. If after a couple of those letters go by and nobody backs down, then you get an action that you can respond to with proof that you are entitled to the exemption.
 
Zigner said:
Your taxes may be rejected when filed electronically, but you can file a paper return. The IRS will reach out to both parties asking for proof of who is entitled to take the deduction.

As for the 2018 returns - you've been compensated. Do you intend to reimburse your ex once you get your money from the IRS?
Click to expand...

I meant to say "from 2020, and 2021" and leave 2018 out due to that reason.
 
Scream said:
I meant to say "from 2020, and 2021" and leave 2018 out due to that reason.
Click to expand...
If your ex compensates you for the difference between what you got (will get) and what you should have gotten (should get), then there's really no problem.
 
retic said:
For 2018 I think the IRS hasn't processed the OP's refund yet, though his ex did pay him the difference in refunds created by her improperly claiming their child. His beef there is with the IRS.
Click to expand...

Correct. I am not seeking reimbursement from her for my 2018 taxes.

retic said:
For 2020 did you claim your daughter or not? If not you can file an amended paper return claiming her.
Click to expand...

For the 2020 taxes, I did claim her. I also attached the court paperwork showing I have full custody. This paperwork has her age on it, as well as how long she lived with me (the entire time). I recently received it back in the mail with the following:

"The information about your qualifying child or children on Schedule EIC is incomplete. Enter the following information for each child listed on the Schedule EIC:

a. Child's complete name and date of birth.
b. Child's Social Security Number. (On the form)
c. Child's relationship to you. (On the form)
d. Number of months the child lived in your home during the tax year."

However on the following form there is no place to put in her date of birth, or the number of month she lived with me (though both of those things can be found in the attached court document).


retic said:
For 2022 you will have to file a paper return as noted by Zigner.

You and your wife should also adjust your withholding so that you owe a little to the IRS instead of getting a refund every year, because obviously you can't stop your ex-wife from e-filing before you do. The IRS is processing paper returns very slowly and there's no point in waiting 12-18 months for your own refunds.
Click to expand...

We'll do that. Thanks.
 
Zigner said:
If your ex compensates you for the difference between what you got (will get) and what you should have gotten (should get), then there's really no problem.
Click to expand...

There's no problem with my ex for the 2018 taxes. Like another person said, my issue is with the IRS for the 2018 taxes. She paid the difference. However the IRS still hasn't processed the refund.
 
Scream said:
Hey all, I could use a bit of help solving a significant issue I have. I apologize, it's a bit long. I am deep in this, and could use somebody on the outside looking in and telling me what my legal options are, rather than my options ruled by my emotions.

I wasn't sure where to put this, I apologize if it's in the wrong place. There's a lot to this.

The backstory:

My ex and I have a kid in 2011. We separate in 2013. She takes our daughter, and withholds contact. The court sees this, as well as her bipolar as a reason to award full custody to me.

She tries to get custody back several times, always fails. She lies several times to police/the courts in an attempt to get me arrested. Long court battles ensue (as they always believe a potential victim).

She tried a criminal case (telling the court I beat her). I prove my innocence.

She tried a juvenile case (telling the Department of Children and Families I raped our child). I prove my innocence.

She tries several family cases (claiming she's in a better place now, and deserves full custody). She fails.

2019 rolls around, and she claims our child on her 2018 taxes. The IRS doesn't seem to care, and rejects my taxes. I tell her she can't do that, our daughter lives with me. She's my dependent to claim. I tell her I will take her to court, and report it to the IRS unless she pays me what it cost me to not claim her. She does so.

2020 comes around. No issue with my 2019 taxes.

2021, once again she has claimed her on her 2020 taxes. This effects my COVID relief, as well as my return. She claims it was an accident, and won't happen again. I decide to let cooler heads prevail, and not report it.

I get married in October of 2021. My wife knows of these issues, and is supportive.

2022, once again she claims our child on her 2021 taxes. This messes up the COVID relief, my taxes, and my wife's taxes.

This is where we are now. January 30th 2022, my taxes from 2018, and 2020 are in limbo somewhere with the IRS. My taxes, and my wife's 2021 taxes have not been filed yet.

I am exhausted from having to defend myself. There has been some major issue every year since 2013.

What can I do to:
Protect myself from future absurd false allegations.
Ensure she stops claiming her on her taxes.
Receive my returns from 2018, and 2020.
Click to expand...

You should have reported her the first time she filed your child as a dependent. If I was your wife, I'd file as married filing separately so her tax return doesn't get involved with any of it.

Here's what you do for the future:
Clean this mess up
Report her for tax fraud immediately when she does it
Probably not getting tax returns from 2018 and 2020 - which I thought you said in 2018 you wouldn't report her to the IRS if she paid you the return she got and she did...
 
As to what you can do to protect yourself from future absurd false allegations, the sad answer is, not much. Your ex has made you a major focus in her universe, and that's an uncomfortable place for you and your child to be.

Always use excellent personal protective measures for yourself and your family, as you do not really know, and do not want to have to find out to what lengths your ex might try to go. A parent who would drag a child through a made up sexual abuse case would not be adverse to other extreme things, like hiring a hit man, for example. Read about Betty Broderick. Keep your doors locked.

On the upside your child is getting older, there will be less opportunity for her to claim something that hasn't happened.

Make sure your child is receiving the best counseling available to her in order to deal with the fractured and fractious situation. No matter if she "seems fine" and is thriving, it would be a very good idea to have someone helping her deal with your parenting issues and problems. Bi-polar and other mental health issues such as depression do have a certain amount of hereditary connection, you want to make sure your child is given every opportunity to cope constructively, live well and thrive.

Have contact with the mother ONLY through the court addressed means. Keep all interactions formal and all business. Follow any custody arrangements to the letter.

Never let her "sneak up on you" with unexpected bouts of seeming nice or reasonable. Scorpions are always scorpions. Though you do not (taking the moral high ground here) trash the mother ever in front of the child, keep making it clear to this mother that ANY overstepping will ALWAYS be met with legal defense. Do not try to economize by working it out ouside the legal system. Intermittent reinforcement is the strongest kind and will keep her playing for a lot longer than 100% guaranteed, "We will take this up in court!" and you always follow through.
 
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