Sex Crimes, Sex Offenders Pickle Packing "Perv" Popped Pickling Private Parts in Public!

army judge

army judge

Super Moderator
Jurisdiction
Florida
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Sigh, only in Florida.

MARCH 15--A pantless Florida Man was arrested yesterday after police spotted him pleasuring himself with a pickle while on a private premise, according to an arrest affidavit.

Responding to a suspicious person call around 4 PM, a cop saw Eric Detiege, 47, lying on his back in front of a townhouse in Oldsmar, a city in the Tampa Bay area.

Detiege, unencumbered by pants or underwear, had his penis in one hand and "a large uneaten pickle in his other hand." Detiege, the cop added, was "using the pickle to penetrate his rectum while he was masturbating."

Seen above, Detiege was arrested on a misdemeanor exposure of sexual organs charge. He is being held in the Pinellas County jail in lieu of $150 bond.

Detiege, whose address is listed as the Flying Cloud Mobile Home Park in Tampa, has prior convictions for theft, disorderly conduct, resisting police, and criminal mischief. Jail records note that Detiege has "Only God can judge me" tattooed on his arm.
 
army judge said:
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Sigh, only in Florida.

MARCH 15--A pantless Florida Man was arrested yesterday after police spotted him pleasuring himself with a pickle while on a private premise, according to an arrest affidavit.

Responding to a suspicious person call around 4 PM, a cop saw Eric Detiege, 47, lying on his back in front of a townhouse in Oldsmar, a city in the Tampa Bay area.

Detiege, unencumbered by pants or underwear, had his penis in one hand and "a large uneaten pickle in his other hand." Detiege, the cop added, was "using the pickle to penetrate his rectum while he was masturbating."

Seen above, Detiege was arrested on a misdemeanor exposure of sexual organs charge. He is being held in the Pinellas County jail in lieu of $150 bond.

Detiege, whose address is listed as the Flying Cloud Mobile Home Park in Tampa, has prior convictions for theft, disorderly conduct, resisting police, and criminal mischief. Jail records note that Detiege has "Only God can judge me" tattooed on his arm.
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Of course it's Florida. When ever there is a bat shit crazy story it's almost always in Florida. Why anyone would want to live there is beyond me.
 
His use of a delicious pickle baffles me.

I've eaten pickles my entire life.

My mother even "canned" (using Mason jars) what she called "Bread and Butter Pickles", "Sour Pickles", and her take on "Kosher Dill Pickles".

After reading about this pickle popper's sordid tale abusing an innocent pickle to "pleasure" himself, I don't think I'll ever enjoy a pickle without recalling the "perverted pickle popper".
 
justblue said:
Of course it's Florida. When ever there is a bat shit crazy story it's almost always in Florida. Why anyone would want to live there is beyond me.
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Many of these Florida tales do seem to involve murder, sexual abuse, rape, incest, bestiality, or other bizarre behaviors.

Could it be the fault of the nearby salt water?
 
Had you been the first deputy to arrive on scene and observed the "pickler" in action would you have:

1) Scolded the "pickler", directed him to clothe himself properly, stop pleasuring himself in public, and told him to leave the premises immediately

2) Arrested the "pickler" for diddling himself in public

3) After you stopped laughing, sternly told him to "stop that" and "get"

4) Something else
 
army judge said:
Had you been the first deputy to arrive on scene and observed the "pickler" in action would you have:

1) Scolded the "pickler", directed him to clothe himself properly, stop pleasuring himself in public, and told him to leave the premises immediately

2) Arrested the "pickler" for diddling himself in public

3) After you stopped laughing, sternly told him to "stop that" and "get"

4) Something else
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2. ...and the first half of 3.
 
3) After you stopped laughing, sternly told him to "stop that" and "get"
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A friend of mine back in high school decided to slalom the traffic cones on a road late one night. The officer who stopped him said, "I'm not sure if what you're doing is illegal or not, but stop it."
 
flyingron said:
A friend of mine back in high school decided to slalom the traffic cones on a road late one night. The officer who stopped him said, "I'm not sure if what you're doing is illegal or not, but stop it."
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There are thousands of smart law enforcement officers toiling away diligently using their discretion to enforce our laws.

God bless and protect all of them.
 
Another upstanding Florida denizen has done his bit as a felon.

I wonder if that damn "demon weed" made dude do it?

LAKE COUNTY (CBSMiami) – A Florida man is charged with murdering his 77-year-old grandfather and cutting the elderly man's ears off with a knife.

According to CBS affiliate WPEC, the Lake County Sheriff's Office was called to a home in DeLand in Central Florida on Saturday night for reports of a man who said he was attacked by his grandfather.

Kolby Parker, 30, told deputies he and his grandfather, Ronald Wells, Sr., were smoking marijuana when there was a confrontation. Parker claims he was only acting in self-defense when the older man attacked him with a knife. He told deputies he managed to get the knife away and used it on Wells, who was found dead on the front porch with multiple stab wounds.

While he was being questioned by police, Parker allegedly pulled two human ears from his pant pockets, which were later discovered to be those of his grandfather, according to the police report.

Deputies said Parker became violent toward them, but he was eventually subdued and taken into custody.

Investigators say Parker confessed to hitting his grandfather multiple times in the head with a baseball bat and then stabbed him with a butcher knife numerous times. He also admitted to cutting his grandfather's ears off and stated that he wanted his grandfather to be with his dead grandmother.

Parker is charged with second-degree murder, battery on a law enforcement officer, and resisting with violence.

Parker is jailed with no bond.






Florida Man Confesses To Killing Grandfather, Pulls Human Ears From Pocket During Questioning
 

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