jerry springer type drama

my husband slapped my brother in the face when they started fighting and i was in labor. i have video of it. he was egged on and my brother kept saying "step on the property and assault me" until he finally did. my father was also in the background saying he was going to get his gun.
brother pressed charges, $300 fine. husband wants to take it to court.
is there a way i can shut this down? do i have to file counter charges? can i show the video to someone? i just don't want to make this bigger than it has to be, but if it has to go that way, can i press charges for 20 years of harassment, domestic abuse, and child endangerment? because that's what's been going on.

Husband wants to take what to court? The fact that he assaulted your brother?

yes. on the grounds that he was stressed out, i was having a baby, he was threatened to be shot, he was instigated to step onto the property, and he was assaulted first, when my brother pressed his nose onto his face to try to get him to slap him. also the kids were being assaulted inside the house at the time by my father.

20 years of harassment? LOL.... I would say call the police and let them sort this mess out. sounds like a bunch of idiots getting really stupid. Sad thing is only the children suffer. Maybe CPS will take the kids out of the home to protect them from seeing this crap.

chibiri said:

yes. on the grounds that he was stressed out, i was having a baby, he was threatened to be shot, he was instigated to step onto the property, and he was assaulted first, when my brother pressed his nose onto his face to try to get him to slap him. also the kids were being assaulted inside the house at the time by my father.

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What kids? How old are the kids? Who's kids are they? Where do you and your baby live now? How old are you?

Disabled Vet said:

20 years of harassment? LOL.... I would say call the police and let them sort this mess out. sounds like a bunch of idiots getting really stupid. Sad thing is only the children suffer. Maybe CPS will take the kids out of the home to protect them from seeing this crap.

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it is a bunch of stupid kid crap. please watch what you say and also read up on CPS and all of it's offshoots and maybe learn something. i've seen some real shit too, man. just gonna leave it there. my mental health is fragile.

justblue said:

What kids? How old are the kids? Who's kids are they? Where do you and your baby live now? How old are you?

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we share custody thanks to CPS. that's a completely different wound we don't need to pick right now. and i dont see how these questions pertain to anything relevant to my question.

chibiri said:

brother pressed charges, $300 fine. husband wants to take it to court.
is there a way i can shut this down?

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This has nothing to do with YOU. Your husband is suffering the consequences of his violent action(s).

do i have to file counter charges?

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You don't file charges. You can make a complaint if you like, but it doesn't change the violent act your husband committed.

can i show the video to someone?

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I'm sure you're capable of doing that. I mean, as you say, it's all very Springer-ish. Why not? It would probably be very entertaining.

i just don't want to make this bigger than it has to be, but if it has to go that way, can i press charges for 20 years of harassment, domestic abuse, and child endangerment?

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If there were 20 years of harassment, domestic abuse, and child endangerment, then you would have contacted the police long ago. Now, you're just mad.


(There, your questions are answered. Have a nice day.)

chibiri said:

brother pressed charges, $300 fine. husband wants to take it to court.

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I assume this means your brother filed a police report, the result of which was that your husband was charged with some minor crime, and that he can either pay a $300 fine or plead not guilty. What would his defense be? Being "egged on" is not a valid defense. Nor is it a valid defense that "he was stressed out" or that you were having a baby,

chibiri said:

is there a way i can shut this down?

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No. This has nothing to do with you (except to the extent that you were a witness).

chibiri said:

do i have to file counter charges?

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There's no such thing as "counter charges" and, again, this has nothing to do with you.

chibiri said:

can i show the video to someone?

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You can show it to anyone you like who is willing to look at it. Did you really think the answer might be otherwise?

chibiri said:

can i press charges for 20 years of harassment, domestic abuse, and child endangerment?

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No. However, if you believe yourself to have been the victim of a crime, you can report the matter to the police and/or the local state's attorney.

chibiri said:

i dont see how these questions pertain to anything relevant to my question.

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If they don't have anything to do with your question, then why did you mention them? If you mention a particular fact, we're going to assume you think it's relevant and ask for clarification where needed.

Your husband needs to learn how to be an adult. He is responsible for his actions.

When you say your brother "pressed charges" I assume that means he just made a police report. There is no $300 fine until a court says so. This may never get that far.

The best thing you and your husband can do is avoid such encounters and not let others manipulate you.

zddoodah said:

I assume this means your brother filed a police report, the result of which was that your husband was charged with some minor crime, and that he can either pay a $300 fine or plead not guilty. What would his defense be? Being "egged on" is not a valid defense. Nor is it a valid defense that "he was stressed out" or that you were having a baby,

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thank you. that's what i was asking. was just wondering if ANY of that other stuff mattered at all. and it doesn't which is what the police told me repeatedly every time i called them for the domestic abuse.
so i guess i'll just eat it as usual and keep getting abused.

again thanks for the reply.

chibiri said:

we share custody thanks to CPS. that's a completely different wound we don't need to pick right now. and i dont see how these questions pertain to anything relevant to my question.

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Who shares custody? You and your parents or you and children's father? Your over use of pronouns make it hard to understand what you are saying.

One thing is clear, based on what you have posted, is that none of the minors in this household are safe and should be removed and placed either with their father (if he is fit) or perhaps another relative.

To answer your question...You can show the video to your boyfriends attorney to see if it helps boyfriends criminal case. The video may not be as helpful as you believe. When someone is acting aggressive and trying to start a fight (come on! HIT ME!!! HIT ME!!) someone with an ounce of sense and a modicum of self control doesn't oblige the idiot...especially when he is there to pick up his girlfriend who is in labor with, presumably, his child.

And although you don't see it...all of the questions asked are relevant. You need to focus on keeping your children safe. Per your posting this is not a safe home nor safe people to be around. They are violent and seem to have questionable mental health. You refer to it as "Jerry Springer" type drama...which is minimizing the crazy dangerous behavior exhibited by everyone while you were in labor.

chibiri said:

thank you. that's what i was asking. was just wondering if ANY of that other stuff mattered at all. and it doesn't which is what the police told me repeatedly every time i called them for the domestic abuse.
so i guess i'll just eat it as usual and keep getting abused.

again thanks for the reply.

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Who's abusing you? Your parents? Are you an adult? If so, move out to your own home. You should seek help with a local Domestic Violence organization. They will help you with therapy and how to take control of you life.

chibiri said:

thank you. that's what i was asking. was just wondering if ANY of that other stuff mattered at all. and it doesn't which is what the police told me repeatedly every time i called them for the domestic abuse.
so i guess i'll just eat it as usual and keep getting abused.

again thanks for the reply.

Click to expand...

You may wish to consider moving far away from the drama...

chibiri said:

thank you. that's what i was asking. was just wondering if ANY of that other stuff mattered at all. and it doesn't which is what the police told me repeatedly every time i called them for the domestic abuse.
so i guess i'll just eat it as usual and keep getting abused.

Click to expand...

It would have mattered at the time it occurred. However, you can't go back 20 years and expect that anyone can help you with that BUT you. If you are being abused, then take your children and leave. Go to a shelter if you don't have friends or family to stay with. But for your children's sake you must get past your victim mentality. And please. Consider not having any more children. You are unable or unwilling to provide a safe place to raise a child. You are risking your children being raised in the foster system.

Hmmm, Jerry Springer's name was invoked, that calls for a trip down memory lane.

WARNING, don't view the video as it illustrates behaviors and words are shouted that could cause some people to become agitated, irritated, and offended.


LEGAL DISCLAIMER absolving me of any responsibility for what you're about to do to yourself.

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WARNING, don't view the video as it illustrates behaviors and words are shouted that could cause some people to become agitated, irritated, and offended.


LEGAL DISCLAIMER absolving me of any responsibility for what you're about to do to yourself.

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WARNING, don't view the video as it illustrates behaviors and words are shouted that could cause some people to become agitated, irritated, and offended.


LEGAL DISCLAIMER absolving me of any responsibility for what you're about to do to yourself.

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WARNING, don't view the video as it illustrates behaviors and words are shouted that could cause some people to become agitated, irritated, and offended.


LEGAL DISCLAIMER absolving me of any responsibility for what you're about to do to yourself.

================================================
================================================

WARNING, don't view the video as it illustrates behaviors and words are shouted that could cause some people to become agitated, irritated, and offended.


LEGAL DISCLAIMER absolving me of any responsibility for what you're about to do to yourself.

================================================
================================================


WARNING, don't view the video as it illustrates behaviors and words are shouted that could cause some people to become agitated, irritated, and offended.


LEGAL DISCLAIMER absolving me of any responsibility for what you're about to do to yourself.

================================================
================================================

WARNING, don't view the video as it illustrates behaviors and words are shouted that could cause some people to become agitated, irritated, and offended.


LEGAL DISCLAIMER absolving me of any responsibility for what you're about to do to yourself.

================================================
================================================


WARNING, don't view the video as it illustrates behaviors and words are shouted that could cause some people to become agitated, irritated, and offended.


LEGAL DISCLAIMER absolving me of any responsibility for what you're about to do to yourself.

================================================
================================================

WARNING, don't view the video as it illustrates behaviors and words are shouted that could cause some people to become agitated, irritated, and offended.


LEGAL DISCLAIMER absolving me of any responsibility for what you're about to do to yourself.

================================================
================================================

WARNING, don't view the video as it illustrates behaviors and words are shouted that could cause some people to become agitated, irritated, and offended.


LEGAL DISCLAIMER absolving me of any responsibility for what you're about to do to yourself.

================================================
================================================


WARNING, don't view the video as it illustrates behaviors and words are shouted that could cause some people to become agitated, irritated, and offended.


LEGAL DISCLAIMER absolving me of any responsibility for what you're about to do to yourself.

================================================
================================================

WARNING, don't view the video as it illustrates behaviors and words are shouted that could cause some people to become agitated, irritated, and offended.


LEGAL DISCLAIMER absolving me of any responsibility for what you're about to do to yourself.

================================================
================================================


WARNING, don't view the video as it illustrates behaviors and words are shouted that could cause some people to become agitated, irritated, and offended.


LEGAL DISCLAIMER absolving me of any responsibility for what you're about to do to yourself.

================================================
================================================

WARNING, don't view the video as it illustrates behaviors and words are shouted that could cause some people to become agitated, irritated, and offended.


LEGAL DISCLAIMER absolving me of any responsibility for what you're about to do to yourself.

================================================
================================================

WARNING, don't view the video as it illustrates behaviors and words are shouted that could cause some people to become agitated, irritated, and offended.


LEGAL DISCLAIMER absolving me of any responsibility for what you're about to do to yourself.

================================================
================================================


WARNING, don't view the video as it illustrates behaviors and words are shouted that could cause some people to become agitated, irritated, and offended.


LEGAL DISCLAIMER absolving me of any responsibility for what you're about to do to yourself.

================================================
================================================

WARNING, don't view the video as it illustrates behaviors and words are shouted that could cause some people to become agitated, irritated, and offended.


LEGAL DISCLAIMER absolving me of any responsibility for what you're about to do to yourself.

================================================
================================================


WARNING, don't view the video as it illustrates behaviors and words are shouted that could cause some people to become agitated, irritated, and offended.


LEGAL DISCLAIMER absolving me of any responsibility for what you're about to do to yourself.

================================================
================================================

WARNING, don't view the video as it illustrates behaviors and words are shouted that could cause some people to become agitated, irritated, and offended.


LEGAL DISCLAIMER absolving me of any responsibility for what you're about to do to yourself.

================================================
================================================

WARNING, don't view the video as it illustrates behaviors and words are shouted that could cause some people to become agitated, irritated, and offended.


LEGAL DISCLAIMER absolving me of any responsibility for what you're about to do to yourself.

================================================
================================================


WARNING, don't view the video as it illustrates behaviors and words are shouted that could cause some people to become agitated, irritated, and offended.


LEGAL DISCLAIMER absolving me of any responsibility for what you're about to do to yourself.

================================================
================================================

WARNING, don't view the video as it illustrates behaviors and words are shouted that could cause some people to become agitated, irritated, and offended.


LEGAL DISCLAIMER absolving me of any responsibility for what you're about to do to yourself.

================================================
================================================


WARNING, don't view the video as it illustrates behaviors and words are shouted that could cause some people to become agitated, irritated, and offended.


LEGAL DISCLAIMER absolving me of any responsibility for what you're about to do to yourself.

================================================
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You've been warned, now you proceed at your own risk.

chibiri said:

my husband slapped my brother in the face when they started fighting and i was in labor. i have video of it. he was egged on and my brother kept saying "step on the property and assault me" until he finally did. my father was also in the background saying he was going to get his gun.
brother pressed charges, $300 fine. husband wants to take it to court.
is there a way i can shut this down? do i have to file counter charges? can i show the video to someone? i just don't want to make this bigger than it has to be, but if it has to go that way, can i press charges for 20 years of harassment, domestic abuse, and child endangerment? because that's what's been going on.

Click to expand...

You don't really have anything to do with it. Your husband needs to be the one to handle it. If you want to help, find him a lawyer.

No you can't press charges - and if you have any evidence of abuse you should report it to the police.

chibiri said:

yes. on the grounds that he was stressed out, i was having a baby, he was threatened to be shot, he was instigated to step onto the property, and he was assaulted first, when my brother pressed his nose onto his face to try to get him to slap him. also the kids were being assaulted inside the house at the time by my father.

Click to expand...

Why did you not call the police on your father?

Your husband needs a lawyer, you should have called the police on your dad and hopefully you don't allow him near your kids ever again.

Okay I'm seriously confused what's going on…

it is a bunch of stupid kid crap. please watch what you say and also read up on CPS and all of it's offshoots and maybe learn something. i've seen some real shit too, man. just gonna leave it there. my mental health is fragile.

we share custody thanks to CPS. that's a completely different wound we don't need to pick right now. and i dont see how these questions pertain to anything relevant to my question.

How is 20 years of harassment and abuse "stupid kid crap?" Read up on what about CPS and "all of its offshoots?" Learn what?

Who shares custody of which kids? You say your husband – is he the father of any of these children? How many children are there? Are they all with your husband? Who do you share custody with? Why is your father involved and why haven't you reported him for any abuse toward your kids? Who is abusing you?

thank you. that's what i was asking. was just wondering if ANY of that other stuff mattered at all. and it doesn't which is what the police told me repeatedly every time i called them for the domestic abuse.
so i guess i'll just eat it as usual and keep getting abused.

again thanks for the reply.


Who is abusing you? Why are you allowing them to live with you if it's your father or brother? Your husband needs to learn how to be an adult and not assault people. That's what he did. I have had people try to get me to fight and I walk away. I don't hit them.