- Jurisdiction
- California
My mother and father are separated and most likely getting a divorce, ironically after 45 years of being married, but through a lot of rough up's and down's throughout those years. My dad who is bipolar, can be very controlling and has a difficult time with any self reflection, is trying to convince my mother to go and speak to his divorce attorney without obtaining her own representation. He is claiming that if she obtains her own counsel, he / they will not be able to use his legal insurance to cover the attorney and court fees and he will have to pay out of pocket for his attorney less a 25% discount. I could understand that she obviously wouldn't be able to use his legal insurance but why would her seeking her own counsel cause his insurance to not cover his costs? She wishes to seek her own attorney to insure she get's 50% of their estate and assets, plus is worried that if she goes to meet his attorney, that she could say something that could be held against her later. He also made the claim that because of her "mental state" (which is fine, she just doesn't have that good a memory), he's going to insist that meeting be recorded. This seems like a red flag to me but my mother is somewhat gullible and sometimes naive and is leaning toward going along with his wishes to avoid a fight. So this whole situation has me worried. Some general advice would be great so I can possibly steer them, or at least her, towards a common understanding. There is no prenup and all children are adults. There are properties / homes involved and a very large joint trust.