Domestic ..ex’s friend non-stop

Zachary Mckay

New Member
Jurisdiction
Connecticut
Hi. My name is Zach. It's 2019, I dated my ex in 2017. I'm a 28 y.o. male this August. My ex stephanie is 25. We split in Feb 2017. I loved this girl more than life itself, she was my world and I went the distance to prove it (yet I was not perfect) and I failed her and she left me. It HURT but fine, I'm a man and i'll Let it eat me alive until my grave.

My issue now 2 years later is, every where i go her good friend Madison torments me in public. Yet I'm extremely kind and nice to her none of her other friends do this .....She says out loud .im a "bad Man" an "abuser" of my ex..."an asshole" etc..:.and this is no joke. Literally every single time I'm out. And honestly I'm a good man and I have a good heart. This is extremely annoying, me and my ex are both over it (at least I am) it was 2 years ago we've Dated other people since. This girl is crazy, she was screaming I'm going to call the cops on you for no reason at all ..it makes me look bad and she doesn't understand the inter-dynamics of me and my ex's relationship at all...

Flash back to my ex 2 years prior, we split up, we agreed to give eachother space she life 30 mins away in her own town, i agreed to not go to her bars or area for a bit and vise versa, so what happens? 1st week of breakup, I'm headed to my local car 2 mins from my house, for my bday, she knows I go there, she knows I grew up there, she knows all my friends there, when I show up I see her there with all her friends..this makes me extremely annoyed cuz I know she did this on purpose, she was instigating and no respecting our unwritten agreement, I wanted to enjoy myself. She was deliberately antagonizing the situation, AND she's the one who wanted to breakup with me I tried EVERYTHING to keep her and safe this 3 year relationship, she was being cold hearted. I didn't want her talking to or fucking any of my friends, I was too in love with her at this time..I needed space and she had no respect for this...so what does my drunk dumbass do? I approach her, ask her why she's here, told her about our agreement for space, we argue, she was very rude and very bitchy to me, I say can we speak outside? I was getting annoyed, she says no, I GENTLY put my hand on her wrist look her in the eye and say Steph can we speak outside, she replied with another bitchy comment.,.i could do NOTHING, so worst decision I take my essentially empty beer and pour it on her...this was a very impulsive and emotional decision, ironically if I didn't love her I never woulda done it...so her friends obviously retaliate I get 5 beers dumped on me and I'm physically attacked and pushed ..I walk directly to the bar manager who I know from growing up there and explain what I did, he said ok just take the night off, I said fine and left and went home to my house 2 mins down the road on my bday to sit alone...15 mins later two police cruisers show up, one of my ex's very drunk girl friends who was already kicked out of the bar for being belligerent called the police on me for "assaulting" my ex with a beer..and I'm arrested and taken down to the station. I battle a court case with my lawyer for 1 year and 1/2 for breach of peace and domestic..I spent over $2000 on lawyer fees and I'm a full time nursing student. My ex never had to show up once and there was zero proof I even poured a beer it was simply all word of mouth. A year and a half later I have all chargers erased and off my record. Yet this girl, my ex's best friend, continues to harass me when we are out! In front of entire bars people and friends and honestly she doesn't even know me or fully understand me and my ex's relationship.
 
What should I do about this obnoxious friend I see her everywhere, I never see my ex...I've tried speaking with the friend I admitted to my mistake I apologized I explained my emotional state of mind numerous occasions, she's crazy ...
 
You said you are over it. Ignore her. If you can't manage to do that I would recommend you speak to a counselor or obtain psychiatric help. At your age it should not be difficult to move on.
You don't have a legal problem.
 
What should I do about this obnoxious friend I see her everywhere, I never see my ex...I've tried speaking with the friend I admitted to my mistake I apologized I explained my emotional state of mind numerous occasions, she's crazy ...
Your ex can go anywhere she wants, drink in any bar she likes, sleep with anyone she wants to (even if you know the guy she hooks up with), and she doesn't have to avoid any place you think she ought to. You had no right to confront her. You had no right to touch her. You pouring beer on her WAS assault and you being arrested for it is what you deserved. Her friends think you're a bully and they are entitled to their opinion of you. If you don't like hearing them call you out for your behavior, YOU can stop going to places where they might be. You did this to yourself, macho man.
 
So it seems you're not over it... Maybe its time to seek professional help. Stay out of the bars all together. Unless... You wish to continue getting into trouble with all this drama in your life. At this point the legal part is finished. :)
 
When strangers who know nothing except the facts that YOU gave them see you as being the one at fault, maybe it's time to reconsider your position on the matter.
 
How Do You Know When It's Really Over?


If you persist when the other person is weary of you, you might have become a STALKER!

We live on big planet.

There is no reason to ever see someone who wishes NOT to see you.

No one should ever touch another person without that person's express permission.

Don't STALK or pester others.
 
You said you are over it. Ignore her. If you can't manage to do that I would recommend you speak to a counselor or obtain psychiatric help. At your age it should not be difficult to move on.
You don't have a legal problem.


You clearly didn't read...this is not my ex I'm dealing with. Me and my ex are over it I do not speak to my ex at all. This is my ex's best friend ..the best friend of my ex is not over it and it's not like I go out and seek her out to speak to her. I do ignore her. She interjects herself on my social situations directly
 
So it seems you're not over it... Maybe its time to seek professional help. Stay out of the bars all together. Unless... You wish to continue getting into trouble with all this drama in your life. At this point the legal part is finished. :)


People this is not my ex we are talking about where I DO NOT stalk or speak with my ex at all...I am over my ex that was 2 years ago. This is my ex's best friend we are talking about the best friend is not over it ...it's so odd
 
Your ex can go anywhere she wants, drink in any bar she likes, sleep with anyone she wants to (even if you know the guy she hooks up with), and she doesn't have to avoid any place you think she ought to. You had no right to confront her. You had no right to touch her. You pouring beer on her WAS assault and you being arrested for it is what you deserved. Her friends think you're a bully and they are entitled to their opinion of you. If you don't like hearing them call you out for your behavior, YOU can stop going to places where they might be. You did this to yourself, macho man.

Right and I'm fully accepting my fault in this matter as I said I already went through the process it was a mistake, and you're totally right. But this was 2 years ago people ..I already went to court for it and got what I deserved for the beer. I didn't charge anyone for assaulting me either with their beers this was 2 years ago. And I'm over it. It's my ex's best friend who won't let it go, literally everyone is over it except the best friend
 
I understand this is a friend of the ex.
My suggestion is to ignore her. When she gets no reaction from you she will get bored and find someone else to bother. Why do you care what she thinks anyway? Don't acknowledge her. Don't look at her. Don't talk to her. If she talks to you then keep walking and don't say a word. She doesn't exist.
You do not have a legal problem with this. This has to do with social skills and being grown ups.
 
People this is not my ex we are talking about where I DO NOT stalk or speak with my ex at all...I am over my ex that was 2 years ago. This is my ex's best friend we are talking about the best friend is not over it ...it's so odd

Oh, no. We DO get that this is your ex's friend you're referring to. But the fact that you're riding the drama llama "I loved this girl more than life itself, she was my world and I went the distance to prove it (yet I was not perfect) and I failed her and she left me. It HURT but fine, I'm a man and i'll Let it eat me alive until my grave" in your telling of this story tells us that you are most certainly not over your ex.

The advice still stands: get professional help if you're still this tore up over your ex and ignore her friend. She's doing nothing wrong but expressing her opinion of you.
 
I completely understand who you are talking about. It doesn't change the fact that back two years ago, you treated your ex badly and her friend has a right to express her opinion of it.

As I said, when we only have your description of what happened and we still think you were the one in the wrong, that says something.
 
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