Parent needs help

Ldan

New Member
Jurisdiction
Missouri
My 17 year old son has moved out against my will. He came to me asking for mental help, we started the process with a Dr but before anything was done, I believe he had a mental break. We had an argument and the police stated that 17 is legally an adult in Missouri and I couldn't stop him from leaving. I begged them to get him help, told them that he was talking about hurting himself and we had been to a Dr, please not to o let him go, he needed help. They wouldn't help me. He came back that night and physically attacked me. The police are saying there's nothing I can do about it. I pressed charges and he was arrested for the assault. I then went to the prosecutor and told them he needed mental help, not jail. They released him from jail and he's pending a court date, but still will not return home or even speak to me. The police were not on my side through any of this. I looked it up and 17 is legally an adult in miMissou, but I'm still responsible for him till 18. Is there anything I can do?
 
Legally he is not an adult until 18. Missouri does have a law that designates a 17 year old as an adult for adjudication purposes. However:

Missouri Age of a minor: According to Missouri law, a minor is any person under 18 years of age or any person in the custody of the division of family services who is under 21 years of age.

Runaway status: Missouri does not have a specific classification for runaway youth, but youth can be classified as a child in need of care and treatment. A child in need of care and treatment is, among other things, a child who is habitually absent from the child's home without sufficient cause, permission, or justification.

Is running away a status offense: Running away is not a status offense in Missouri. According to Missouri law, a youth whose behavior, environment, or associations are injurious to his welfare or who is without proper care, custody or support may be taken into custody by a police officer. The parent or guardian of the child taken into custody shall be notified as soon as possible.

Can a youth file for emancipation: In Missouri, there is no general statute that addresses the process of emancipation, but the state does recognize emancipation in other statutes. A dependent child means "any person under 21 years of age who is not otherwise emancipated, self-supporting, married, or a member of the armed forces of the United States.

Since he was a harm to himself and without proper care, they should have picked him up. Do you really want him back in your home after he assaulted you? Did they let him go on PR bond or did you bail him out? I would have left him sit in jail if that was my kid. Jail is much better than on the streets. I hope you didn't bail him out because if he doesn't show up for court, that money is gone.
 
Legally he is not an adult until 18. Missouri does have a law that designates a 17 year old as an adult for adjudication purposes. However:

Missouri Age of a minor: According to Missouri law, a minor is any person under 18 years of age or any person in the custody of the division of family services who is under 21 years of age.

Runaway status: Missouri does not have a specific classification for runaway youth, but youth can be classified as a child in need of care and treatment. A child in need of care and treatment is, among other things, a child who is habitually absent from the child's home without sufficient cause, permission, or justification.

Is running away a status offense: Running away is not a status offense in Missouri. According to Missouri law, a youth whose behavior, environment, or associations are injurious to his welfare or who is without proper care, custody or support may be taken into custody by a police officer. The parent or guardian of the child taken into custody shall be notified as soon as possible.

Can a youth file for emancipation: In Missouri, there is no general statute that addresses the process of emancipation, but the state does recognize emancipation in other statutes. A dependent child means "any person under 21 years of age who is not otherwise emancipated, self-supporting, married, or a member of the armed forces of the United States.

Since he was a harm to himself and without proper care, they should have picked him up. Do you really want him back in your home after he assaulted you? Did they let him go on PR bond or did you bail him out? I would have left him sit in jail if that was my kid. Jail is much better than on the streets. I hope you didn't bail him out because if he doesn't show up for court, that money is gone.
I didn't bail him out. They let him out after a few days. I don't want him back in my home, I want him to be sent in for mental help. No one will listen to me or help. I don't know what to do
 
Any adult person may file an application for detention, evaluation, and treatment with the probate division of the circuit court where the person may be found.

Law Enforcement personnel, under their police power authority, may detain a person believed to be imminently harmful due to a mental disorder or substance use disorder and transport the person to an appropriate facility for evaluation for admission.



The following brochure advises what a parent can do to have a minor child committed involuntarily for a mental health evaluation:

https://dmh.mo.gov/docs/mentalillness/civildetentionmanual.pdf
 
It sounds like you are getting mixed information.

I agree with the last post above.

If your child had left home without permission (and you have no idea where your child is) then make a missing person report. Eventually when/if located, the child should be returned home to you. However you might immediately have a runaway again.

Personally, when I receive habitual runaway reports, I make every effort possible to ruin that kid's friendships and make it difficult for them to have anywhere to go where they are welcome other than home. Parents don't like it when police keep coming to their house looking for someone else's problem child, and the kid will be turned away fast if he shows up. The missing kid's friends don't care for all the attention I give them either and start to shun their buddy.
Further, after notifying adults of the runaway status I like to give them an earful of possible consequences if they knowingly conceal the kid from his parents.
When the kid is eventually located I make it clear to them that all they have to do is tell mom/dad where they are and they won't be missing. Even if they want to be rude and disrespectful and leave without omission they won't be missing IF they actually go where they say. This is the way to keep me from burning their bridges and ending friendships on their behalf.

These are all things your local law enforcement could do too... If they have the time for it. They might also have an internal policy about runaway 17 year olds that aren't under suspicious circumstances or have some emergency element attached.
If your police contact so far has been with Joe Cop who came to your house when you called, consider visiting the local PD and speaking with the shift supervisor or the Lieutenant/Captain about your frustrations with the effort made by Joe Cop. There probably is something more they can do, even if it is just a missing person report.... Assuming you don't know where he is.

If you do know where he is, simply go there, grab him by the ear, and drag him back home... or do something less dramatic that is effective. If you are somehow denied access to your kid then call police for assistance.
 
I didn't bail him out. They let him out after a few days. I don't want him back in my home, I want him to be sent in for mental help. No one will listen to me or help. I don't know what to do

There are likely facilities where you can take him if you are willing to pay, but don't expect the state to do it unless he is in serious danger.
If you don't want him to come home then this is a moot issue. You are still his patent and still responsible for him. He belongs at home under your supervision. This is a patenting issue. You haven't said anything that indicates it is a mental health issue other than your personal belief that he had a "mental break". Bring him home and get him to a doctor if you think he needs treatment.
 
I didn't bail him out. They let him out after a few days. I don't want him back in my home, I want him to be sent in for mental help. No one will listen to me or help. I don't know what to do

You are going to have to pay for mental treatment and before that, he has to be diagnosed with a mental issue. You can't diagnose him.
 
I'm not diagnosing him. We went to a Dr, she referred him to a therapist, but he freaked out before the therapist appointment and now refuses to go
 
In Missouri, he's not a minor! As of right now, 17 is an adult in Missouri. He can leave home against my wishes and is charged as an adult for any criminal action, but, I am still responsible for him until 18. It's a really messed up law
 
Í sends you likely misunderstand the law.

As noted advab, there are certain things which a 17 years old may be treated as an adult, but a 17 year old is still a minor.
 
In Missouri, he's not a minor! As of right now, 17 is an adult in Missouri. He can leave home against my wishes and is charged as an adult for any criminal action, but, I am still responsible for him until 18. It's a really messed up law

Yes he is still a minor in Missouri. They just treat runaways differently than other states. But the age of majority is 18 and hence he is a minor.

I don't think they're charged as adults for ANY criminal action.
 
Í sends you likely misunderstand the law.

As noted advab, there are certain things which a 17 years old may be treated as an adult, but a 17 year old is still a minor.

Missouri adjusts age of adult to 18

Clay County Assistant Prosecuting Attorney Shannon Ryser said this would not affect his office much. The juvenile system determines if those under 18 should be certified as an adult based on the crime and mentality of the individual. That process will remain the same.

Criminal cases are different and it's case by case it appears on who they've charged as an adult.

You are responsible for him. Yes he can leave and they won't get him. But until he's 18 he's still a minor. So do what you can with what control you have.
 
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