Harassment, Stalking, Misconduct Harassing Communications

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Confusedone83

New Member
Got into a relationship with a police officer a year ago. Two months into it he tried to kill himself with pills and became abusive. He was on depression meds and I turned him and the texts into the county. I changed my number and went on.

A couple months later I thought maybe he'd gotten some help and I wanted to reach out to explain why I turned him in. Stupid .

It started an on and off kind of dating but not really. He grew more aggressive and jealous even to the point of trying to make me stop playing tennis which I have my whole life because other men see me. I would endure days of texts about sex I was having with men and it was all in his head. One day he just changed. Went back to his old self. I knew by then he had a problem meds can't fix and his change was to suck me back in. I told him I felt we hah to end it. And he verbally assaulted me for a day even putting his own self down and called me and said at some point he's put his gun in his mouth but couldn't pull the trigger. Also that he has a plan to kill himself and make it look like an accident was said to me a couple months ago.

I called the state police because that's what I was told to do. They said they could do a wellness check on him if his employer didn't do anything.

The officer called, I told them. They said among the normal "block" them "what will he say about me?" uhm don't know. Its not about me. And then if either he or I talked again he'd file harassing communications on us both. That left me a little distressed. And that he will have to talk to the sheriff. Well....I didn't care the sheriff knew and did nothing the first time. My ex actually said nobody talked to him about suicide.

Why would an officer say these things? Especially about me talking to him? And I felt like I had an officer who was someone he knew too. Is this common?
 
Confusedone83 said:
Why would an officer say these things? Especially about me talking to him?
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We don't read minds. Who knows, maybe he was trying to get through to you that you should stop talking to this guy and move on.

Confusedone83 said:
And I felt like I had an officer who was someone he knew too. Is this common?
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Why not? I'm sure your boyfriend knows lots of people. I have no idea what you're getting at here.
 
Basically I'm trying to decide if my ex will use his power to hurt me or if police who know one another mess with people who report them.

I hope he said it to make me stop talking to the abusive jerk. To scare me into it.
 
Confusedone83 said:
Why would an officer say these things?
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No mortal can tell you why another mortal would say anything.

Confusedone83 said:
Especially about me talking to him?
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A subject is a noun (a person, place, thing, or idea) that describes what a sentence is about.

A verb is the action of the subject, or it may be a linking verb.

The part of the sentence that contains the verb is called the predicate.

If either of these two essential parts is missing, the sentence is incomplete.

I believe you were trying to post a question, as indicated by your use of the question mark (?).

An interrogative sentence is a type of sentence that asks a question, as opposed to sentences that make a statement (declarative), deliver a command, or express an exclamation.

Interrogative sentences are typically marked by inversion of the subject and predicate; that is, the first verb in a verb phrase appears before the subject.

If you wish an answer to your question, it would be helpful to reconstruct your words.

Confusedone83 said:
And I felt like I had an officer who was someone he knew too.
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You attempted to post a declarative sentence, however, it is incomplete, too.

Confusedone83 said:
Is this common?
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Unfortunately you used a pronoun, which is acceptable in sentence construction.

However, I don't know what you meant by the the use of the pronoun, THIS.

If you replace the pronoun with a noun, someone might be able to offer a more useful response.
 
I was asking how well I should trust a police officer to not be dirty? I am not scorned, although a few times the mental abuse broke me into yelling back insults, it took nearly a year to get to that point. I want them to still keep their job, but just be OK ON the job. And I want them out of my life because they are abusive.

Is it common if your ex is a police officer and abusive and you break up, as well as report their suicidal plans or failed attempt, that they will be inclined to use their power to hurt you?

I have read a lot of abused spouses and girlfriends of police officers try to leave and the officers find them at the shelter or beat them. One story I read was an officer trashed the home then hit himself and had his girlfriend who was trying to end their relationship, arrested.

Right now, I am very untrusting of the police and feel like nobody cares that they are obviously hurting and I look insane by reporting it twice.

The first time there was a witness to their attempt, at least.

Also, are people morally obligated to report a person they think is a suicide risk for a wellness check? I was hoping if another officer spoke to them, maybe they could help them admit they need help and get better resources. I helped them get a doctor, but they aren't telling them. They are afraid of beinf embarrassed at work if people know they are as sick as they are.

On one end I feel bad that they are embarrassed but if they actually go through with it and succeed I'd blame myself for not trying to stop it. And if they hurt someone else because they lost it on the job, that would be terrible. I know I don't want police on the street who are actively trying to kill themselves. I don't trust them with my safety.

As far as grammar, I'm stressed, have had some Xanax (legally) and I am emotionally tired. I'm not worried about grammar mistakes right now and the Xanax is likely not helping.

They yelled and said they didn't want my help and to not say anything again. But they told me they put a gun to their head and had a future plan. To me, that's a cry for help by telling me.
 
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Confusedone83 said:
I was asking how well I should trust a police officer to not be dirty? I am not scorned, although a few times the mental abuse broke me into yelling back insults, it took nearly a year to get to that point. I want them to still keep their job, but just be OK ON the job. And I want them out of my life because they are abusive.

Is it common if your ex is a police officer and abusive and you break up, as well as report their suicidal plans or failed attempt, that they will be inclined to use their power to hurt you?

I have read a lot of abused spouses and girlfriends of police officers try to leave and the officers find them at the shelter or beat them. One story I read was an officer trashed the home then hit himself and had his girlfriend who was trying to end their relationship, arrested.

Right now, I am very untrusting of the police and feel like nobody cares that they are obviously hurting and I look insane by reporting it twice.

The first time there was a witness to their attempt, at least.

Also, are people morally obligated to report a person they think is a suicide risk for a wellness check? I was hoping if another officer spoke to them, maybe they could help them admit they need help and get better resources. I helped them get a doctor, but they aren't telling them. They are afraid of beinf embarrassed at work if people know they are as sick as they are.

On one end I feel bad that they are embarrassed but if they actually go through with it and succeed I'd blame myself for not trying to stop it. And if they hurt someone else because they lost it on the job, that would be terrible. I know I don't want police on the street who are actively trying to kill themselves. I don't trust them with my safety.

As far as grammar, I'm stressed, have had some Xanax (legally) and I am emotionally tired. I'm not worried about grammar mistakes right now and the Xanax is likely not helping.

They yelled and said they didn't want my help and to not say anything again. But they told me they put a gun to their head and had a future plan. To me, that's a cry for help by telling me.
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Stay away from the guy. Block him on everything. He's just trying to keep you around and is messing with you. If he kills himself, he does. It's not your fault. You have reported it each time. If he somehow gets a hold of you and threatens suicide - then just call the police. That's all you can do. You should have stayed away the first time. I get it. I was stupid with my ex and he's an abusive prick. But I learned and stay away.
 
Yes, I have never been abused by a partner so it hit me hard and I was always confused so I was drawn in then he'd do bad things. It's a repetetive cycle. I really it takes women an average of 7 times to get out. I also am very strong minded and I don't take abuse well. So it would get worse because when he was abusive I'd shoot back. Or turn the table and refuse to talk unless it was civil. He would get worse demanding I answer his questions or he would never speak to me again...silence. It was volatile and I would trigger them by just saying a color or wearing a pair of pants...or anything .

He has in the record as my lawyer looked, an EPO a woman dropped at court. And a no trespassing currently at one of his adult childs home!.

I have saved two phones and have them locked away full of abusive and harassing text messages and this one. So I think I'm safe as far as if he were to say I was just trying to hurt his reputation. He blame shifts a lot. I honestly don't know one person who doesn't see that.

I mean, I refused to answer a question by the state police if he'd ever had adult oriented contact with me on duty, and, insted said this is about him being safe just check on him. So, I could have said a LOT more to hurt him (job) and with messages to back it up.

Yes. He has been blocked. I feel I've helped him as much as I can or want to. My lawyer even has copies of some of his communication.

Also, I had asked why if a person has been serving so long do the have no rank? I was told it was usually they had complaints or behavior issues and get passed over. And possibly my complaints are really part of long record. Is this true? Is that how promotion works. It's been 18 years.
 
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Confusedone83 said:
Also, I had asked why if a person has been serving so long do the have no rank? I was told it was usually they had complaints or behavior issues and get passed over. And possibly my complaints are really part of long record. Is this true?
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Why do YOU care? You make it sound as if EVERY police officer MUST get promoted over time - where you get that idea from I have no idea, but it's far from the truth. Most don't want to get promoted.

Your rambling post shows that apparently you don't want to end your contact with him. Get over it and MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE. Forget about him and his promotions.

Confusedone83 said:
It's been 18 years.
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What has??
 
Listen, idiot, I don't want him and I don't want to see him. This isn't a relationship forum.

I was told by someone(another police officer) that another sign of a piece of crap cop is non promotion. 18 years a cop, not one promotion. Are you people in third grade and can't put pieces together? I was trying to judge how wacko the guy is because I could ask for a no contact order but I don't want to take time out of my day or wallet to have my lawyer do it and stir the pot. Yes, I am aware I can do it but....I pay lawyers to do that. My lawyer thinks he's dumb and just told me to watch for being followed. I've gotten three social media friend requests from brand new accounts this week. That never happens. Probably him. I don't want to get hurt, as in, die because a crazy person is mad.

I'm already seeing somebody else, damn.

What I am worried about is him messing with me using his "authority" to be a jackhole, not being with him. I am worried about ME! I don't want to even see that fool shopping at the grocery store.
 
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Confusedone83 said:
I am worried about ME! I don't want to even see that fool shopping at the grocery store.
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One solution sought by others in your predicament is to seek an order of protection using the applicable court system.

Another safe option is to relocate to a location unknown to the alleed abuser that is at least 1,000 miles away.

Barring that eventuality, a peace order is your next best bet.

However, batterers, abusers, bullies, and other assorted losers; regularly violate a pretty piece of legal paper.

Some of those critters even end up maiming or killing their target.

Bottom line, once you've gotten involved with some of these vermin, your life will never be the same as long as you remain within their reach.

I wish you the best, and I hope you figure out a strategy where you feel protected and safe to enjoy your life.
 

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