Termination of Gaurdianship

L

LDHarris

New Member
Jurisdiction
Oklahoma
My husband passed away in 2006. At that time I became an addict and started having trouble with the law. By the end of 2008 I knew I was going to prison. At this time I wrote a letter giving temporary gaurdianship to my best friend. We never went to court and the CPS has never been involved when it came to my son. I was in prison for 6 years and have been home now since Feb. 21,2014. When I first came home I noticed that my "friend" always kept my son busy so that he had no time for me. Last October 2 days before my son turned 16 he announced that he wanted to come home. The person became livid and refused to give me my child back. Since we never went to court to begin with how do I legally get my child back?
 
LDHarris said:
My husband passed away in 2006. At that time I became an addict and started having trouble with the law. By the end of 2008 I knew I was going to prison. At this time I wrote a letter giving temporary gaurdianship to my best friend. We never went to court and the CPS has never been involved when it came to my son. I was in prison for 6 years and have been home now since Feb. 21,2014. When I first came home I noticed that my "friend" always kept my son busy so that he had no time for me. Last October 2 days before my son turned 16 he announced that he wanted to come home. The person became livid and refused to give me my child back. Since we never went to court to begin with how do I legally get my child back?
Click to expand...


Children can't be loaned out to others like a lawnmower.

The person who kept your child while you were in prison has no lawful right to keep him now.

You can call the police and ask them to meet you at Bobo Brown's home, because Bobo is keeping your child away from you.

That paper you are alleged to have signed six years ago is as meaningless today as it was six years ago.

However, if your child is progressing well, why would you wish to move him now?

That's a meaningless question, too.

I'm just curious, but feel free to tell me, "Screw you old dude, he's my son, and by all that I love, I want him with me now."

Good luck.
 
army judge said:
Children can't be loaned out to others like a lawnmower.

The person who kept your child while you were in prison has no lawful right to keep him now.

You can call the police and ask them to meet you at Bobo Brown's home, because Bobo is keeping your child away from you.

That paper you are alleged to have signed six years ago is as meaningless today as it was six years ago.

However, if your child is progressing well, why would you wish to move him now?

That's a meaningless question, too.

I'm just curious, but feel free to tell me, "Screw you old dude, he's my son, and by all that I love, I want him with me now."



Good luck.
Click to expand...
 
When I first came home I didn't adjust very well and that is why I left him where he was, during the last 4 years my son and I have built up our relationship and he is the one that came to me and told me that I deserved the chance to be a mom again.....otherwise you're absolutely right. He has more memories with them then he does of me and his dad, however I do love him and want the best for him and I honestly feel.like the best decision today is for him to come home.
 
cbg said:
Then go get him. If the guardianship is not court ordered your "friend" has no legal right to keep him from you.
Click to expand...

She's absolutely correct.

Don't do it without the police, as that is how bad stuff sometimes jumps off.

I hope you reunify your family, and are there to see your baby graduate from high school.

If your friend is cool with you taking your baby, then cops won't be necessary/

It sounds like you and your baby will get two neat Christmas presents, so don't blow it.
 
LDHarris said:
I wrote a letter giving temporary gaurdianship to my best friend.
Click to expand...

That may have been what your letter said, but a guardianship cannot be created by a letter. A guardianship can only be created by a court order.

LDHarris said:
how do I legally get my child back?
Click to expand...

Among other things, you could drive to where your child presently lives, honk the horn, and the child can come out the door and get in the car with you. Or you could pick up your child from school or anywhere else. As noted above, you can see if the local police will intervene.
 
I have a hard time believing that the only living parent was locked up for at least 6 years and the court or CPS never stepped in. Someone has had legal authority to handle school registration, medical care, and the like for quite a number of years. Only a court can grant that authority. YOU might not have been part of the process as you were a "guest of the state". This poor kid essentially has not had parents for 11 of his 17 years. I can't imagine why you, who has been absent from his life since he was 6, suddenly think you are the best guardian option, but before you go grabbing the kid and running, you really, REALLY need to talk to his current guardian and find out what legal arrangements are actually in place. Once the kid is 18, he can live where he likes. A single, addict, with a substantial criminal record, and who has been absent for more than a decade, is virtually never going to be the best or even an acceptable choice in the eyes of the court.
 
ElleMD said:
I have a hard time believing that the only living parent was locked up for at least 6 years and the court or CPS never stepped in. Someone has had legal authority to handle school registration, medical care, and the like for quite a number of years. Only a court can grant that authority. YOU might not have been part of the process as you were a "guest of the state". This poor kid essentially has not had parents for 11 of his 17 years. I can't imagine why you, who has been absent from his life since he was 6, suddenly think you are the best guardian option, but before you go grabbing the kid and running, you really, REALLY need to talk to his current guardian and find out what legal arrangements are actually in place. Once the kid is 18, he can live where he likes. A single, addict, with a substantial criminal record, and who has been absent for more than a decade, is virtually never going to be the best or even an acceptable choice in the eyes of the court.
Click to expand...


No really....I live in rural small town America! Thismiddle of nowhere small spec on the map of Oklahoma is still based upon the good old boy system. My mother was born and raised here and it's still literally who you know....just so happened my aunt (who also worked at the board of education) knew the situation and helped smoothe any rough edges that happened to come up.
If your meaning that a person couldn't have been in prison for 6 years and also been a good parent before they went well your wrong. I've never had CPS in my home and I moved my son to the "safe" environment of my friends home so that I didn't drag his little life thru the mud. I wasn't your regular drug addict....I didn't rob people, I didn't neglect my child when he was with me....I provided love and support for my child until I knew I was spiraling out of control and fast. Thru victims impactclasses I now know that my family weremy victims. And just by being an addict I was being a bad mom.....however that's not the subject here...that's the past I don't live there any longer.

Do you really think I would ask for advice if I wasn't being completelyhonest? What good would that do?
 
army judge said:
Children can't be loaned out to others like a lawnmower.

The person who kept your child while you were in prison has no lawful right to keep him now.

You can call the police and ask them to meet you at Bobo Brown's home, because Bobo is keeping your child away from you.

That paper you are alleged to have signed six years ago is as meaningless today as it was six years ago.

However, if your child is progressing well, why would you wish to move him now?

That's a meaningless question, too.

I'm just curious, but feel free to tell me, "Screw you old dude, he's my son, and by all that I love, I want him with me now."

Good luck.
Click to expand...

I was a good person that some bad things happened to. I'm not crying oh poor pitiful me and Im not trying to justify my actions. Before my husband passed away I was a medic in the army. I have a college education. When he passed away as I am sure you know my family care plan fell apart and I was told to go take care of my children and given a hardship discharge. My husband was in the union and made good money and he was driving the only car that was paid off in our family when he wrecked that day. Literally my entire life changed in the blink of an eye. I didn't know how to deal with it and I was depressed and started sleeping alot....so I turned to amphetamines first and then it quickly progressed to a serious meth addiction. So please don't think I was just some piece of crap druggie or that my child never had a chance to begin with because that couldn't be further from the truth. Just wanted you to know some background info....thanks for the feedback.
 
"How you deal with it" is to seek counseling, especially if you have young children. It is not to start doing drugs and committing criminal acts. You made a choice and your child is who suffered most. He lost his father and rather than provide him the support he needed, his mother turned to drugs than left him with a "friend" for most of his childhood. You could have been Mother Theresa before that, but it is what has happened since that matters.

Even if you had someone at the school system who was willing to break the law on your behalf and look the other way, insurance companies are not going to insure a person's friend's child without a court order giving them guardianship. That is just one example. If this poor kid has essentially just been a "visitor" in the friend's home for the past decade +, that is truly unfortunate for his sake, and rural or not, CPS let this child down horribly. It would be by sheer luck that his lack of an available legal guardian never became an issue. The odds are very much against any kid getting through that many years without having an actual legal guardian who was not dead or incarcerated. A letter from you means absolutely nothing as far as the law is concerned.

Either way, if this friend objects to the child they raised suddenly living with you before he turns 18, your chances of getting a court to side with you are slim to none. At best, you might get visitation, though would also very likely be on the hook for child support if you are still the legal mother. You really need to talk to this friend. It isn't clear why the child even wants to move in with you who has been a virtual stranger most of his life, other than kids often think the grass is greener elsewhere. If you are going to reintegrate yourself into his life, you really need to get ALL of you into counseling and consult a lawyer.
 
ElleMD said:
"How you deal with it" is to seek counseling, especially if you have young children. It is not to start doing drugs and committing criminal acts. You made a choice and your child is who suffered most. He lost his father and rather than provide him the support he needed, his mother turned to drugs than left him with a "friend" for most of his childhood. You could have been Mother Theresa before that, but it is what has happened since that matters.

Even if you had someone at the school system who was willing to break the law on your behalf and look the other way, insurance companies are not going to insure a person's friend's child without a court order giving them guardianship. That is just one example. If this poor kid has essentially just been a "visitor" in the friend's home for the past decade +, that is truly unfortunate for his sake, and rural or not, CPS let this child down horribly. It would be by sheer luck that his lack of an available legal guardian never became an issue. The odds are very much against any kid getting through that many years without having an actual legal guardian who was not dead or incarcerated. A letter from you means absolutely nothing as far as the law is concerned.

Either way, if this friend objects to the child they raised suddenly living with you before he turns 18, your chances of getting a court to side with you are slim to none. At best, you might get visitation, though would also very likely be on the hook for child support if you are still the legal mother. You really need to talk to this friend. It isn't clear why the child even wants to move in with you who has been a virtual stranger most of his life, other than kids often think the grass is greener elsewhere. If you are going to reintegrate yourself into his life, you really need to get ALL of you into counseling and consult a lawyer.
Click to expand...

Wow is all I can say. You are a very mean spirited hateful person. I'll pray fro you.
 
Im gonna delete everything else I had written in an attempt to make this easier.

I would suggest you continue to allow him to live where he's been happy, healthy and stable for the majority of his life and continue to be a mother in small increments until he makes the decision to come home to you, when he's legally able to make such a choice. If that is not what you wish to do you have every right to take the police, and i'd suggest also a birth certificate, with you to pick up your child from your friends home as has been suggested.

Are you certain your rights weren't terminated without your knowledge ? You did effectively abandon your child into the care and custody of your friend after all. Have you actually spoken to the friend, or just your son ?

You asked for advice, the advice is to go to the police, and/or retain a lawyer, and/or leave your child where he is until he turns 18.
 
LDHarris said:
I was a good person that some bad things happened to. I'm not crying oh poor pitiful me and Im not trying to justify my actions. Before my husband passed away I was a medic in the army. I have a college education. When he passed away as I am sure you know my family care plan fell apart and I was told to go take care of my children and given a hardship discharge. My husband was in the union and made good money and he was driving the only car that was paid off in our family when he wrecked that day. Literally my entire life changed in the blink of an eye. I didn't know how to deal with it and I was depressed and started sleeping alot....so I turned to amphetamines first and then it quickly progressed to a serious meth addiction. So please don't think I was just some piece of crap druggie or that my child never had a chance to begin with because that couldn't be further from the truth. Just wanted you to know some background info....thanks for the feedback.
Click to expand...

Doing meth isn't "dealing" with anything in life. My ex husband is a meth addict. He would constantly take off to do meth when our daughter was in the hospital all the time because he "couldn't handle her like that." It's a bs excuse to do drugs. Sorry. At least you're sober now. Lessons learned hopefully.

If there is no legal court ordered guardianship then you can just go take your kid back. That friend can't do anything about it. But you better make sure they didn't get anything legal done while you were in prison.
 
Do you really think I would ask for advice if I wasn't being completely honest? What good would that do?

I've no idea, but people post here and on other forums every day with the facts twisted so that they'll get the answer they want to hear. I'm not accusing you of lying, btw; just answering your question.
 

Share this page

Get a free case review from a lawyer
Back
Top