16 almost 17 want to be emancipated for my unborn child

mybabyismylife

New Member
Im 16 ill be 17 soon and I am 9 weeks pregnant. I have my lisence but my parents took my car keys the second they found out that I am pregnant. I want to have this baby and get a job but they will not let me even try to get a jon they just say no one will hire a pregnant girl. I believe that getting emancipated would be best for me because they wont look at me. My father told me to get an abortion and I said no. He told me in the case I could get out, I said okay I will and started packing. He then came in and told me he would call the police on me if I left but he told me to get out. I do have someone to watch my child when he or she is born and she is stable and willing to take me in. She also offered for me to live with her for free until I can get a job and I wont have to pay much. She lives right out side of town so I can get a job that I can walk to . Im not worried about me Im worried about the baby he or she is my main priority and they are constantly screaming at me and throwing things and adding a lot of stress on me and not helping me or supporting me in anyway and I fear loosing my baby due to stress which happens. The reason I was waiting to tell my parents is so the could not try to make me abort it. They cannot force me either way but the things they say are hurtful and I need support not hate.
 
As the previous poster stated, you're not getting emancipated. You'll live where your parents tell you till 18. When you're 18 you'll be able to venture out into the world, where you will quickly find that implementing your plans isn't quite as easy as you think.
 
A pregnant teenager is a parent's worse case scenario. They know that no matter what you claim now about getting a job and having day care that the majority of the expense and hassle of a newborn is going to fall to them. You aren't a legal adult and they are legally responsible for you until you turn 18, which means they now have a baby to deal with as well. No parent wishes early unwed parenthood on their child. Even in the best case scenarios, where all ends well, it means a radical change in lifestyle from the one parents would hope for. Not to mention, all the drama and such the father brings to the picture. You don't mention him but legally, and realistically, he is the elephant in the room.

Give your parents time. Eventually they may come around but right now they have just been given difficult news to swallow and you aren't doing yourself any favors by further defying them. Talk to your guidance counselor at school. Find out if there are support groups for pregnant teens in your area. Research your legal rights as far as the father and child support are concerned. Once they get over the shock, talk to your parents calmly and perhaps with a neutral adult third party present to figure out a plan that you can all live with.
 
the father

The father is not in the picture and wont be he apparently got suicidal because I am pregnant but im not worried about it and honestly all the people that are in guidence the school nurse and even the school principle think I need to go sonewhere that I get support and are helping me get legal help i was just curious as to other peoples perspective because it can happen. I didnt explain the full situation just the basics of it because it says not to say anything to identify yourself. therefore I tried to be careful. As for my parents you cant say ewe everytime you look at me and scream at me rather than talk and expect me to want to stay. They tried to make me have an abortion!
 
I'm glad you are getting help from school personnel.
 
They can try all they want. You are the one who screwed up. You have no way to get emancipated without parental approval. They do not owe you the right to drive. In fact if you had not had the license you might not be pregnant. You deserve to be treated like someone who majorly screwed up.
 
The father is not in the picture and wont be he apparently got suicidal because I am pregnant but im not worried about it and honestly all the people that are in guidence the school nurse and even the school principle think I need to go sonewhere that I get support and are helping me get legal help i was just curious as to other peoples perspective because it can happen. I didnt explain the full situation just the basics of it because it says not to say anything to identify yourself. therefore I tried to be careful. As for my parents you cant say ewe everytime you look at me and scream at me rather than talk and expect me to want to stay. They tried to make me have an abortion!

You have made a couple of choices that will not seem to be so appropriate in five, ten, twenty years.
As your child becomes an adult, she or he will want to know many things.
Most of all, the child will long for their "dad".

I'm a believer in everyone being able to make choices for themselves.
But, MY choices shouldn't impact anyone but ME.

What you've done is made a choice, and that choice will impact your mother and father.
Trust me, they do love you.
You refuse to see what they do right.

Your choice to have sex, get pregnant, and persist in bearing the child to full term; costs your parents.
The putative father has (or soon will) disappear.
Even if he were around, he could no more support you and the baby, than you will be able to support yourself.
There are 30 year olds with college degrees and great skills that can't find jobs.
You would be a high school drop out, 17 years old, possessed of a limited education and no job significant work skills.
Your employment prospects will be limited at best, maybe an $8.00 an hour job.
You couldn't feed, clothe, and house yourself on $250 a week.
You surely won't be able to feed, diaper, provide medical care and housing for your baby.

So, you'll eventually seek public assistance.

Why should your mother and father, the government using taxpayer money, support you and your baby?

This is YOUR choice, right?

I don't mean to sound judgmental, just factual.

Bottom line, your choice is going to cost your parents a lot of money.

It's also going to cost you and the baby so much more.

I wish you well.

But, you can forget emancipation.

Its all about economics.

No judge wants to turn a child lose to collect more money the government doesn't have.

No worries, because in fewer than 12 to 15 odd months, you'll be 18.

You can legally offer mom and dad the ONE finger salute, and walk away a FREE woman.

Good luck....
 
They cannot force you to get an abortion but you do not qualify for emancipation and no amount of "but what ifs" or "but theys" are going to change that. No emancipation for you. Not a prayer.
 
In fact if you had not had the license you might not be pregnant.

I had to laugh at that comment about the license. I was in this girl's position way back in the dark ages (1972). I did not have a driver's license then nor have I ever had one. My boyfriend at the time didn't have one either. We walked everywhere we went. Yet somehow we managed to find a way to conceive a child without a license or a car! I did not get pregnant because I didn't have adequate parental supervision, in fact my parents were pretty strict. I was a pretty classic good girl, didn't drink, never tried illicit drugs, mom kept close tabs on my whereabouts, yet I still managed to get pregnant.

In my case, after their initial shock wore off (and my mom going to her our conservative Christian pastor and speaking of abortion with him, which horrified me because that thought had never even crossed MY mind) my parents were very supportive, so I was very lucky in that respect. There was one big difference: 42 years ago in our small town being an unwed mother was very much frowned upon, and both his parents and mine insisted that we get married.

Did the marriage last? No, we split up when our son was six weeks old. I was divorced before I finished my senior year of high school, and my ex-husband moved completely out of our lives. But I did finish high school, and I worked, and built a career that has spanned 32 years with the same company (working my way up from entry-level to VP) and worked hard to be the best mother I could be to my son until he became ill and died suddenly when he was 24 years old. He was a wonderful young man and I hope that I had something to do with the fact that he turned out to be such a great guy, despite the fact that I was once a pregnant teenager who seemingly had completely screwed up her life and ruined the future for herself and her child.

I'm not saying this to encourage teenaged girls by saying "look at me, I turned out okay so it must be all right to get pregnant when you're too young". And I know that, statistically, mine is not the typical pregnant teenager story. I am saying that it is possible to be a pregnant teenaged girl and still work hard and beat the odds, survive, and make something of your life. I only hope that the OP can get some sort of support that will enable her to take what many immediately write off as the biggest screw-up a girl can make and be able to make a life for herself and her child, in spite of the fact that she is in less than ideal circumstances to become a mother right now. It's one thing to preach to young women about not becoming pregnant before you're ready when they aren't already pregnant, but the fact is, this girl is already pregnant so hopefully she can find the support she needs and that will help her make the best life she can for her child.
 
The other sad thing about these scenarios are the serial sperm donors.
Women and girls remain to try and repair the wreckage unplanned, out of wedlock pregnancies can cause.
Some of these women and girls do get married, or were married, and the serial sperm donor vanishes on them, too.
Men and boys are 50% responsible for ALL of the babies without daddies.
The girls and the women hold on, try to do what they can, when its hard for a married man and woman (working their tails off) to support three children, even one child.

No matter how you slice this loaf of bread, its molded, mildewed and unfortunate.

Eventually some kids grow up, and do better.
The moms make it, too.
The serial sperm donors keep donating and procreating, leaving society to care for their unwanted, unloved, unknown spawn.

As much as a 15 year old girl has to fear and face, often alone, her babies rarely improve their lot in life.

Yes, this tragedy has been played out for centuries.
Hester Prynne is the protagonist of Nathaniel Hawthorne's novel The Scarlet Letter.
She was ravished by a man of the cloth, and left to carry what they considered "forbidden fruit" to term.
That was then, and this is the 21st century.
They had no effective birth control methods back in the 16th century.
Today there are many such effective methods.

Every time I read of these occurrences, I cry inside for the children.
Adults and teenagers, male and female, are too selfish.
As much as this may hurt mom and the serial sperm donors, the children are the real innocents here.
 
Last edited:
The greatest tragedy is we do not know if mom n dad have now started another branch of social dependence where they have 4 kids, one succeeds and the other three start their own welfare family. Now that you have discovered your reality check bounced, see if you can find a pregnant teen counseling center in your area. They should have a therapist specifically to bring teen daughters and their parents together toward a common goal. They will also assist you in getting set up for WIC, parenting classes, medical decision rights and potential sitter sources so you can get a job without dumping on mom and dad. If you are patient and hush yer mouth mom n dad will likely come around when they see the chubby cheeks as long as you handle the 3 am screaming and frequent diaper changes. Remember, you are no longer a teen, you are a mom with responsibilities. A method to stay the abortion idea and cool things off is to toss out the bait you might adopt but you consider abortion against the will of God.
 
my choices

Look the dad is 19 and no he didnt kill himself i said clearly he is IN THE MENTAL HOSPITAL and this wasnt my choice. I was taking birth control kids are nice yeah but I wanted to at least have a job. I will be FINISHING high school and graduating as a CNA. No I dont want to take the governments money which is why I want a job. The lisence is another misunderstood statement because when the baby was made i didnt drive anywhere. I walked.
 
Ok so your "adult" BF got you pregnant at 16 and maybe having sex at 15 (under age of consent). Your plan to "get a job" is just a plan nothing more. Getting your CNA and raising a child are not a cake walk! Caring for this child without help IE WIC, Welfare, Food Stamps or, Medicaid is almost impossible. Once you seek that help they will demand Father's info and he will be forced to pay child support. Nothing is as simple as you think
 
Look the dad is 19 and no he didnt kill himself i said clearly he is IN THE MENTAL HOSPITAL and this wasnt my choice. I was taking birth control kids are nice yeah but I wanted to at least have a job. I will be FINISHING high school and graduating as a CNA. No I dont want to take the governments money which is why I want a job. The lisence is another misunderstood statement because when the baby was made i didnt drive anywhere. I walked.

Regrettably its very often ADULT males having unlawful sex with underage girls that result in babies being conceived.
I don't blame you.
You're still a kid.
You're not legally competent to consent to sex.

The ADULT male predator knew you were TOO young to touch.
Now he's gone BONKERS because that child sexual molestation charge is dancing through his head fiulled with lust for children.

An ADULT male, some would call him a child sexual predator, had unlawful sex with you and now you're pregnant.

Regrettable, and all too easy to have been preventable.
 
When I said I am glad you are getting help from school personnel, I didn't mean help to get you emancipated. They can't do that. I'm just glad you talked to some adults & hope they can help you in some way. Good luck.
 
Back
Top