Mom Looking for custody advice. Moving Out of State

Status
Not open for further replies.

misskeys88

New Member
Back Story: I got pregnant during college and my boyfriend & his family, and my family and I made arrangements that our son stay with him and his mother until i graduate from college. We eventually broke up and our son still lives with him based off our agreement. His father has a job, lives with his mother, but in all takes care of our son. I go to school 2 hours away from where he lives. I'm a full time student working a part time job, live on campus, and i visit bi weekly and help out where ever i can and able. I do have my son on all my summer breaks, spring breaks, and holidays like Christmas and thanksgiving. I'm graduating in may with intentions on moving back home to TN or take up a career offer in AZ after graduation. I want my son with me and i don't mind having joint legal custody but i would like physical custody whether its joint or sole. The only problem is i'm willing to work it out, but my son's father is pretty much bitter and has giving me a hard time since we have separated. I have a feeling this will end in a nasty custody battle, instead of us working out like mature adults.

What should i do to be able to get the right to have my son live with me in TN or AZ? Would i even have a chance to win custody since my son has been living with his father for 3 years and i haven't been able to be a big financial help? (i do help financially when i can) Any advice will help.
 
Your chances are slim to none. I'm sorry Mom - Dad is the primary caregiver, has been for 3 years and even without court orders (which by the way are advised - they protect ALL of you but more importantly, they protect your child), he has status quo on his side. Plus, you're wanting to take kiddo out of state - to live. I cannot see that happening. Primary custody for Dad would be pretty much a slam-dunk.
 
Without an existing order there is absolutely nothing stopping mom from taking the child out of state. Dad might regret not pursuing an order sooner.
 
Hi mightymoose!

Regarding to your answer, is it true that mom still can win custody when she can prove that she is able to take care of her child?
What do you mean about Dad should pursue an order?
 
Hi mightymoose!

Regarding to your answer, is it true that mom still can win custody when she can prove that she is able to take care of her child?
What do you mean about Dad should pursue an order?


Are you in the right thread?
 
I have a feeling this will end in a nasty custody battle, instead of us working out like mature adults.

It seems like your only definition of "mature adults", is if you get your way, in contrast to what is best for the child.
 
It seems like your only definition of "mature adults", is if you get your way, in contrast to what is best for the child.

Well I am if you think other wise. I really want my son's father and I come to agreement outside of court, but it might not happen. All I'm asking if it does go to court how likely are my chances in having physical custody, which I prefer to have joint. & I know joint physical in different states work cuz I seen it work.
 
Well I am if you think other wise. I really want my son's father and I come to agreement outside of court, but it might not happen. All I'm asking if it does go to court how likely are my chances in having physical custody, which I prefer to have joint. & I know joint physical in different states work cuz I seen it work.


Madam, Proserpina is very knowledgeable in these matters.



I'll defer to her experience surrounding these events, and second her estimate of you receiving that which you seek.

Slim to none, and more none than slim!!!


Happy New Year anyway.

Things can always be improved, and bad situations can be improved!!!
 
"Joint physical" does not equate to a 50/50 timeshare, Mom; it simply means that both parents have some form of physical custody.

You have no chance whatsoever of getting a 50/50 timeshare based upon what you've said here, and here's why:

1. Dad is the primary caregiver and has been for 3 years or more - that means he has status quo and in order for that to change you must show the court that something substantial has changed in the lives of the children.

2. You are out of state. A 50/50 timeshare simply isn't practical. Nor is it (generally) good for the kids.

So to reiterate:

Based upon what you've said here, you have no change of circumstance and hence there's no reason to even get this in front of a judge. If you DO manage to convince the court to hear you, there's a better-than-excellent chance that Dad will officially become the custodial parent and you'll be paying child support with a regular long-distance parenting plan.
 
(I'm honestly curious as to why it seems to be implied that Dad is being unreasonable here - what's he doing wrong exactly? Why should he give up custody based on Mom's whim?)
 
(I'm honestly curious as to why it seems to be implied that Dad is being unreasonable here - what's he doing wrong exactly? Why should he give up custody based on Mom's whim?)


You've answered your question, Pro.

Whim.

Not, whimsical, rather whim.


I want what I want.

Unfortunate, sad, regrettable, etc., etc., etc...
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top