help me save my grandaughter

I need some help. I have a grandaughter, 13 months, that is not being raised properly by her parents. My son wants to give us custody, but the wife doesn't. I will try to make a very long story short. The wife, yes they are still married and living together (but not as a married couple), was given away to her mothers' friends when she was 2. Ended up in juvenile detention from 13-18. met my son online and were married shortly there after. they fought and still do like animals, cursing etc. While pregnant she lived with us. she had the baby while we were still living in texas. When the baby was 4 months we were transferred to VA. My daughter in law was to move with us with the baby, but at the last minute she refused. She has never bonded with the baby at all. I was the one taking care of her 90% of the time. I tried to teach her to be a good mom, but could see that she didn't have it in her. when she refused to go, I spoke with her mother (another story) and she informed me that she her my daughter in law hitting the baby when she was 3 months old because she was crying. I contacted texas cps, they investigated and since there was no physical abuse the case was closed. The cps person did say off the record that I would probably come back to texas to bury my grandaughter. but that with no physical proof there was nothing i could do. now the baby is 13 months old and today I find out that her mother (noth the baby's) told my daughter in law to pull the baby's hair if she pulls her hair. She has been cursing the baby with vulgar language and she has admitted to me that since my son doesn't want to help wash dished that she will not cook for the baby. I asked her what the baby eats and she says they just give her milk (not formula) most of the time in her bottle. she also eats cold cereal (dry) because she doesn't was the mess of milk all over, chicken nuggets, peanut butter or cookies. my main concern here is the neglect and the hair pulling. My son says that she now grabs lots of hair and shakes the baby's head with the hair to stop her from pulling mom's hair. she says that it's her word against his if the cops are called. by the way the cops know them because of domestic violence. We have offered to take the baby temporarily but mom always says no because she will lose out of being able to file taxes on her. She receives over 3,000.00 in taxes because of the baby. Living in virginia is there anything legal we can do besides calling cps. We tried that after the first incident and they always always call and give her a warning that they are coming out for a visit. They clean up their act, act like loving parents and the case is closed. I am beginning to believe the cps worker about his off the record comment. by the way the mother does have a history of mental illness. please help

Hi - We are going through something very, very similar here in KY, only there is drug use involved, sexual abuse which has been documented, and still they are considering returning this child to her mother. The four year old was living with her Great Aunt - very happy, going to church, going to school, in counselling, etc, etc, when Social Services removed her from there and placed her in a foster home until they are certain the "mother" will comply. Idiots! We continue to document everything, and I mean everything about the mother. I would suggest you do the same. Continue to call CPS, continue to help care for the child. IF you see physical bruises, take pictures, make notes - date, time, what you saw, what you can say happened. Be sure you are honest.

I know these people that are the same way as your daughter in law, people have called cps on her several times and still they do not take her kids, she does drugs, hits them, doesnt pay any attention to them, One reason they dont take there kids is b/c cps gives them warrning that they are coming, and if cps wouldnt do that then kids these days would be in alot better and loving homes, like the person b4 me said, document anything and everything about her and watch your granddaughter very close, my personal opinion is if people dont like kids and cant stand them, they dont need to be having kids. I just had my first kid in feb. of this year, and yes they are a pain in the butt, and they get on your nerves, but there is no reason to treat them like crap, they didnt ask to be born...sorry if i was no help....

You need to file for temporary custody of your grandaughter asap!!! she is in a dangerous situation. See an attorney or go down to the family court. The granddaughter is being abused and neglexcted, call CPS and ask to speak to the case workers supervisor. Tell her that the baby is not being cared for properly, and that you would like to seek temporary custody.

Please do something an check back with us.

Unless custody is legally changed, the daughter can still file on the taxes. PLEASE do whatever you can to get that baby out of the household.

My prayers are with you Granmama!