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Dead means dead. A common reason is that the applicant may have received a response from the trademark office to which they don't want to respond, or there was another mark too similar that was pending. You need to be using (or intending to use) your mark in interstate commerce to apply for a...

If the German company has enough money and the intention to pursue you they can sue you there or in Missouri.

You don't give a full description of the post except to say it was satirical. Under scn 107 of the Copyright Law, criticism and comment (satire in this case) may be a fair use depending on certain circumstances. An excellent, readable treatise may be found at http://www.publaw.com/parody.html...