Non Custodial Parent Changing Doctor's Appointments

[mykidz2]

The NCP changed my daughter's dentist appointment and didn't tell me. I had a gut feeling so I called and they said that it was changed and that they don't know who changed it. He lives 500 miles away and changed the appointment to a week day when I have to work. The original appointment was on a Saturday which no ones works. Is he suppose to let me know if he changes the date? I told the dentist to go back to the original date. Who was wrong me or him?

 

[ElleMD]

I don't know why he would have changed it to a different day unless he was taking the child but you changed the date back so no harm done. Unless the custody agreement requires each of you to notify the other of appointment dates and changes (which would be unusual), it isn't a violation of any kind. It isn't a matter of who was right and wrong. If you were taking the child, you arrange the date and time to suit your schedule.

This assumes he did call a dentist 500 miles away and change an appointment and it wasn't done by mistake by the dental office. That happens far more commonly.

 

[mykidz2]

Thank you ElleMD. I try and schedule the appointments on Saturdays because it is hard to take off in the middle of the week. I am the one who takes her to every appointment. He has NEVER taken her to one in the past year and a half.

 

[Betty3]

Does the custody agreement cover this? (doubtful) Why would he have changed it? He isn't taking her. It seems the dentist office doesn't know who changed it. Why did you have a gut feeling that it was changed? I would, in this case & this time, just change it to what is suitable to you & let it go at that.

 

[cynthiag]

If you're the one taking the child to the appointment, obviously when it was changed somebody should have let you know the new appointment date. However, it doesn't sound like the dentist's office knows who changed it, so you don't seem to have any direct evidence that it was the child's father. I have known non-custodial parents who might do something like that just to mess with the other parent, but it doesn't sound like you really have any evidence to point to that. Maybe somebody at the dentist's office marked it down for the wrong date on their records. At least you were able to change it back to the day that you wanted it.

 

[shrinkmaster]

You say you suspected this so we can presume its happened before. Clearly you and other parent are having co parenting issues. Changed Dental appointments are minor to what can happen as your child sees this. You and NCP need to sit down like adults and learn to Co Parent together even if you hate each other! What you want to avoid is asking court to intervene. This generally result sin rulings neither party likes

 

[ElleMD]

If it turns out that he did change the appointment, going forward I simply would not tell him when these routine appointments are scheduled unless your parenting agreement indicates you must. You might also speak with the office staff and ask if they would note the file not to change any appointments scheduled without calling you. They may, or may not honor that request, but it can not hurt to see if they are willing to do that.