My boyfriend's ex girlfriend.

[Tjones9828]

Jurisdiction

New York

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years, we have one daughter and another child on the way. He has a son from a previous relationship. The son is 5 almost 6.
I have had verbal arguments with the ex girlfriend about her not wanting me to attend his events and such after her boyfriend got in trouble for physically leaving bruises on his from spanking him, as well as grabbing him. Because of this she has made it hard for me to do anything with my boyfriend's son. Yesterday she informed my boyfriend that if I come with him again to get his son that she will call the police. Can she legally do that? We never park in the driveway of her apartment building, and I only get out of the car to let my boyfriend's son get in his seat because he sits behind me, in our two door car. I have never threatened her or her son. She has threatened me continuously with police involvement and switching my boyfriend's son's school as well as other things. She said that she can't legally keep me away from her son, but she can make everything else more difficult.
Any advice on what to do? I want to he able to have a future with my boyfriend and his son and our children, but I am sick of the constant harassment and slander I get from his ex.
There is a visitation agreement that my boyfriend gets his son Friday at 6pm till Sunday at 6pm. She doesn't keep him up to date on anything involving school or health, and were he currently stays while she is at work is with his grandmother where his aunt is living and she was just released from jail for drugs and child endangerment.

 

[shrinkmaster]

So much to comment on here. First off you dont currently have a "legal issue" here. Until she calls Police and even then. If you have done nothing wrong and you pose no danger to any of the children no one can keep you from child without court order. However it might help keep things calm if you did not go with your BF to get child. You will have this time with child during visit. It might be best for everyone (including child) for you to stay home during pick up and drop offs. Second this is NOT your issue to fix its your BF! Last for now is since this is more of a parenting and relationship issue let me suggest ParentNook forums (link in my signature line) its a parenting and relationship forum hosted by this site here. There you can discuss your issues with other parents and see if they have had similar situations and how they dealt with them

 

[ElleMD]

Your bf is the one who needs to set limits here. That may mean getting the support/visitation agreement modified to exclude contact with the jailbird and spanking bf. That may mean he seeks custody or has to pay more for daycare elsewhere. As for you, there is no need for you to talk to this woman or show up at her place. BF can pick up the kid himself and he should be the one handling any child related issues with her. Don't exchange phone numbers or emails, ignore her texts and calls and block her on social media. You are a legal stranger to this kid.