Moved to the same state

[MurphysLaw]

Jurisdiction

Mississippi

My husband was divorced in MS in 2009; it was agreed upon that his kids and ex wife move to another state (NC). They did....fast forward....In June of 2014, my husband received a new job moving us to Alabama. Since this is actually where we are all from, we worked really hard trying to get his ex and kids to move to Alabama so that the kids could be near their father. My husband even got his ex's new husband a job near where we live. The ex allowed to kids to move to AL with us in March of 2015 with the understanding she would be moving after her two - four week resignation was up. The ex moved and now EVERY single time we don't agree with her about things she threatens us to move back to NC with the kids. Her new husband has even threatened us, verbally. We are sick of it and are now looking into trying to get my husbands divorce/custody papers transferred to Alabama. Does anyone have any advise for us? We are having trouble with husbands teen (13) daughter wanting to come visit as well because she "has a life", "friends" and her mother jumps on the band wagon with her. Its so frustrating that we went out of our way and now our lives are turned upside down. My husband and step daughter are in therapy now, but as long as her mother continues to alienate her I don't see anything getting better.....HELP!

 

[ElleMD]

You can not prevent his ex from moving. He can file to modify custody if she does and a judge will decide it from there. I'm not seeing anything that even hints at alienation though it is not uncommon for teenagers to balk at spending time with any parent, especially one who is farther away from friends and social activities. If they are in therapy, that is good. His ex must abide by the current court approved custody and visitation agreement as does your husband. Realistically, whether it makes sense to force a reluctant teen to visit against her will is better answered by the therapist.

 

[MurphysLaw]

You can not prevent his ex from moving. He can file to modify custody if she does and a judge will decide it from there. I'm not seeing anything that even hints at alienation though it is not uncommon for teenagers to balk at spending time with any parent, especially one who is farther away from friends and social activities. If they are in therapy, that is good. His ex must abide by the current court approved custody and visitation agreement as does your husband. Realistically, whether it makes sense to force a reluctant teen to visit against her will is better answered by the therapist.

We realize we cannot prevent her from moving at this time. This is why we are in the process of trying to get jurisdiction moved from MS to AL since this is the state we all reside in now. Our attorney said we had to wait until the 6 month mark of the ex moving NOT the children so thats what we are doing. The alienation goes way back from when they first divorced and has carried on throughout the years. There are two children involved, the ex really only alienates the daughter. They are more like friends than mother/daughter. We have documented for several years....it goes from phone conversations with the ex stating to the daughter that her dad was on America's most wanted to telling her he destroyed their marriage through an affair. Ex even called her attorney friend and had the attorney talk to step daughter and tell her exactly what to say to my husband so that she didn't have to visit. I could honestly go on and on.... and I understand that alienation is really hard to prove in court. However, the reason for her not wanting to visit is because of the things her mother has said about her dad and she is at the age of "friends are more important" than anything....I get it! I was once a teenage girl myself. And before I'm even asked...No, my husband has never been on America's Most Wanted or in jail for that matter. He has received a speeding ticket, I'm sure. As far as the affair, ex says one thing husband says another, but their divorce papers say "irreconcilable differences" and is a no-fault divorce so.... We only live 40 minutes away and when they are here we take them to all of their sporting events, we allow them to go to birthday parties, we allow kids to come here; however, not often because we are renovating our house. The only thing we do not do is allow her 16 year old boyfriend to come to our house or allow her to go to his...the ex does when step daughter is there. My step daughter is only 13 and her dad and I feel it's too young...period! I'm sure thats where a lot of anger comes from. We know we cannot control what her mother allows her to do at her house so....

How hard is it to get the jurisdiction changed and what all would the courts consider changing? I hope we can work all this out without going to court, but I would rather know our options and what we are facing if we can't.

 

[MurphysLaw]

We realize we cannot prevent her from moving at this time. This is why we are in the process of trying to get jurisdiction moved from MS to AL since this is the state we all reside in now. Our attorney said we had to wait until the 6 month mark of the ex moving NOT the children so thats what we are doing. The alienation goes way back from when they first divorced and has carried on throughout the years. There are two children involved, the ex really only alienates the daughter. They are more like friends than mother/daughter. We have documented for several years....it goes from phone conversations with the ex stating to the daughter that her dad was on America's most wanted to telling her he destroyed their marriage through an affair. Ex even called her attorney friend and had the attorney talk to step daughter and tell her exactly what to say to my husband so that she didn't have to visit. I could honestly go on and on.... and I understand that alienation is really hard to prove in court. However, the reason for her not wanting to visit is because of the things her mother has said about her dad and she is at the age of "friends are more important" than anything....I get it! I was once a teenage girl myself. And before I'm even asked...No, my husband has never been on America's Most Wanted or in jail for that matter. He has received a speeding ticket, I'm sure. As far as the affair, ex says one thing husband says another, but their divorce papers say "irreconcilable differences" and is a no-fault divorce so.... We only live 40 minutes away and when they are here we take them to all of their sporting events, we allow them to go to birthday parties, we allow kids to come here; however, not often because we are renovating our house. The only thing we do not do is allow her 16 year old boyfriend to come to our house or allow her to go to his...the ex does when step daughter is there. My step daughter is only 13 and her dad and I feel it's too young...period! I'm sure thats where a lot of anger comes from. We know we cannot control what her mother allows her to do at her house so....

How hard is it to get the jurisdiction changed and what all would the courts consider changing? I hope we can work all this out without going to court, but I would rather know our options and what we are facing if we can't.

Also, my husband has two sets of custody/visitation schedules. One if they remained in the state (which at the time was MS) and another if the ex and kids moved out of the state of MS. Which are we suppose to go by?

 

[army judge]

Also, my husband has two sets of custody/visitation schedules. One if they remained in the state (which at the time was MS) and another if the ex and kids moved out of the state of MS. Which are we suppose to go by?

I suggest you continue to work with your lawyer.
Too many cooks spoil the broth.

 

[ElleMD]

You follow the order based on where the kids are currently living. You can file to change jurisdiction but that is only going to make court dates easier to attend. It will not grant you custody, visitation or prevent a move.