Defense against permanent alimony

Discussion in 'Divorce, Separation, Annulment' started by abbomb, Dec 19, 2006.

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  1. abbomb

    abbomb Law Topic Starter New Member

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    I am in the middle of a contested divorce in Maryland. My wife of almost 20 years has been "depressed" for many of those years. I supported her emotionally and financially throughout her illness. Then, through a series of eye-opening marital moments, I came to the firm conclusion that depression no longer described her behavior adequately. She had become willfully negligent and habitually lazy, using depression as a cover to avoid doing anything she didn't want to do. That's when I left.

    She has been seeing the same psychiatrist (MD) for the duration of her depression, and he now claims that she is "treatment resistent". She takes a large cocktail of depression and other medications prescribed by him. I have consulted a number of other mental health professionals on my own. The consensus is that truly depressed people should have little energy to fight and complain, yet my wife did this constantly. She should also have little energy for anyone else, regardless of who they are. There is also consensus that she has given up trying to get better.

    I provide this context because she claims that her depression is a disability that prevents her from working and wants permanent alimony :eek: , and I intend to fight it. She has not worked in many years due to her "depression", and now claims that she can't. She claims to have no energy or stamina. She sleeps a lot. She always looks sad. Classic depression symptoms, yes, but...

    She generates energy and enthusiam selectively, usually when it involves our children or her parents or siblings. For them she can do almost anything. She manages her household much more effectively since I left. She volunteers at church, at my boy's high school, and for the Boy Scouts, and handles these duties just fine.

    So why can't she be responsible enough to work, and learn to support herself? Of course I'll pay alimony untill she gets on her feet. But not forever. How do I fight her so-called "disability" and the permanent alimony she is seeking?
     
  2. Duranie

    Duranie Moderator

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    You need an attorney, plain and simple.

    You probably will be stuck paying her some alimony since you were married to her for so long. Also if she is depressed and wants disability she should be applying for it as well but it is unlikely SS will consider that a legit disability.

    Does she even take her meds?


    Good luck.
     
  3. abbomb

    abbomb Law Topic Starter New Member

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    I do have a lawyer...

    ...guess I should have mentioned that. However, I'm not a rich man and the lawyer sees this getting complicated and seems more interested in a quick resolution. That is, I bite the bullet and pay permanent alimony. So I'm doing my own research, in part to evaluate my need for a new lawyer.

    Are there any relevant cases that I should look at?
    How do judges generally feel about depression as a valid disability?
    How do psychiatrists generally feel about depressed people working, achieving, and accomplishing stuff as part of their treatment?
    I find it hard to believe that the law would support someone laying around collecting alimony when that person has no functional limitations. Am I wrong? :confused:

    Thanks in advance.
     
  4. Duranie

    Duranie Moderator

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    What is your wife doing for legal representation?

    I agree that alot of people are on disability for no reason. They are capable of working but they just do not want to, or are too lazy. I have seen alot of people abuse the system.

    She is probably capable of working.

    Since you were married for 20 years, getting 1 year of alimoney for every 3 years married is not unreasonable, which totals roughly 7 years of it.

    After that, I would hope a judge expects her to get a job.
     
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