custody

G

Gammyitup

New Member
Jurisdiction
California
is it possible for my visitations to be reduced when my child starts school in 2 years? i currently have him 25% of the time but mother's lawyer wants it reduced to every other weekend for when he starts school and states it is standard order .... i have him overnight every sunday with a day of visit during the week
 
Gammyitup said:
is it possible for my visitations to be reduced when my child starts school in 2 years? i currently have him 25% of the time but mother's lawyer wants it reduced to every other weekend for when he starts school and states it is standard order .... i have him overnight every sunday with a day of visit during the week
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Yes, it usually done when school is in session.
Don't fight anything that benefits your child.
Every real mother and father want what is best for their child, especially a great education.
 
Yes, it's possible. Court's decision.
 
Every other weekend is pretty standard. Wouldn't you rather an entire weekend anyway especially during school? And one day during the week? Is that one day every week or every other week?

My ex got every other weekend and six weeks in the summer and rotating holidays with two of his kids. Most people I know in the same situation they or their ex gets every other weekend and summer visitation and then rotating holidays.
 
One overnight every week and a day of visit every week which is just a few hours. I want to be able to take our child to school but she always say I'm not on time and I don't pay child support when I can provide for him in my own time so she is saying I'm not responsible . They are trying to reduce my visitations when our child starts school and I want to aboid that from happening
 
Gammyitup said:
One overnight every week and a day of visit every week which is just a few hours. I want to be able to take our child to school but she always say I'm not on time and I don't pay child support when I can provide for him in my own time so she is saying I'm not responsible . They are trying to reduce my visitations when our child starts school and I want to aboid that from happening
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Yeah but you're about to get every other weekend - that's more time than you get now. You will get from Fri at a certain time (usually like 7 pm) until Sun (usually at like 7 pm). AND one day during the week? So if you get one Sunday every week it's probably like 12 hours right? Then one overnight when does that start? Right now if you get like 8-8 every Sunday that's 48 hours a week. Then the overnight say it's 7 pm to the next morning to school. That's 44 hours in a month. 92 hours a month.

Go to every other weekend and one overnight every week - that's 72 hours for two weekends a month and then 44 hours you're going to get 116 hours with that hypothetical. So how do you get less time if you are going to get two entire weekends with your kid?

Now if it's JUST every other weekend then yeah your time goes down a little but you get the kid for two entire weekends. Instead of a few hours once a week. Do you have the option for summer visits? You might want to bring that up. My ex is supposed to get six weeks in the summer. I would ask for that if I were you - at least 4 weeks in the summer. What about holidays? Don't you guys have anything in there about holidays? You should.

Are you court ordered to pay child support? She can't deny visitation over lack of child support but if you have a court order and you're not paying it that's bad on you. Child support is what you would be paying if you two were still together. If she's the custodial parent you should be helping her out with child support. If there's no court order you don't have to. No. I'm not sure why you wouldn't want to provide for your kid. Do you know how hard it is to be a single parent as a custodial parent? I get zero support from my ex and he is ordered to pay it. It would be really nice for him to contribute to that and daycare and medical that isn't covered by insurance - like the dental procedure coming up soon for my daughter.
 
What matters is what is best for the child and routines are essential when school starts. You can of course speak to the judge and convince him/her that you can establish a routine and bring the child to school (on time). You may get a ruling in your favor, who knows all you can do is try. There are "standards" that you see typically with custody and visitation, but they are not automatic if the circumstances merit doing something different.
 
It is also going to depend how close you are physically. If you live in the same school district or close proximity, it is easier to share custody. Courts are reluctant to have kids bouncing between houses a whole lot, but a week with you, then a week with the other parent can sometimes work.
 
ElleMD said:
It is also going to depend how close you are physically. If you live in the same school district or close proximity, it is easier to share custody. Courts are reluctant to have kids bouncing between houses a whole lot, but a week with you, then a week with the other parent can sometimes work.
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We live 45 mins away from each other she is in other county . Is it still possible
 
Gammyitup said:
We live 45 mins away from each other she is in other county . Is it still possible
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Possible yes but judge's decision. If you have him during the week, can you get him to & from school without any problems?
 
It could be perceived as a negative if your child would have to get up an hour earlier on school days with you.
 
What is better for your child? That's what you should be thinking about once he starts school. You have to realize that as he gets older and involved in more activities, friends, etc, you probably aren't going to see him a lot either of you. Wait until he's a teenager too...

I'm a little curious as to why you aren't paying child support. Did you not get court ordered to pay? If you are ordered to and aren't, you know that you can lose your driver's license and even go to jail for not paying child support? Just saying.
 
leslie82 said:
What is better for your child? That's what you should be thinking about once he starts school. You have to realize that as he gets older and involved in more activities, friends, etc, you probably aren't going to see him a lot either of you. Wait until he's a teenager too...

I'm a little curious as to why you aren't paying child support. Did you not get court ordered to pay? If you are ordered to and aren't, you know that you can lose your driver's license and even go to jail for not paying child support? Just saying.
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Ive been court ordered to pay since birth. My license is already lost, so i rely on my significant other for rides and everything else. I have hearings coming up for child support. as i have mentioned earlier, i believe that as long i provide for my child in my own care, and she provides for our child in her own care and time without any incidents, its fine. I believe it should be that way. I just dont see a point for me to pay for my child when i don't have my child, when my child's mother has no problem supporting and providing. I do want a joint custody with 50/50 timeshare in the near future when my child starts school so i can be involved, regardless of how far we live from each other.

my child's mother used to let me take our child to day program on the day my visitation end, but she is always saying im late, which is true because my child gets up at nearly 5 am just to take him to day care at mother's schedule, which is 8 am.
 
Afterwards she decided not to allow me anymore, and changed the days of day program due to my tardiness and no child support payments so shes been doing it all on her own and there hasnt been any problems.
 
If you don't have a 50/50 timeshare now, don't look for it in the future.

As far as your thoughts on child support, the laws do not agree with you.
 
Gammyitup said:
Ive been court ordered to pay since birth. My license is already lost, so i rely on my significant other for rides and everything else. I have hearings coming up for child support. as i have mentioned earlier, i believe that as long i provide for my child in my own care, and she provides for our child in her own care and time without any incidents, its fine. I believe it should be that way. I just dont see a point for me to pay for my child when i don't have my child, when my child's mother has no problem supporting and providing. I do want a joint custody with 50/50 timeshare in the near future when my child starts school so i can be involved, regardless of how far we live from each other.

my child's mother used to let me take our child to day program on the day my visitation end, but she is always saying im late, which is true because my child gets up at nearly 5 am just to take him to day care at mother's schedule, which is 8 am.
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If you have a court order you can't just pay when you feel like it. No it's not "fine" for you to only pay when you have the kid. It doesn't matter what you "believe" is fine. The court doesn't care what you believe. So if you have a court order to pay you pay the money to the state. If you have a job, and it gets reported to them, they're just going to take it out of your paycheck anyway. If you're in arrears you will owe that money for the rest of your life. Just keep that in mind. But yeah go ahead and do what you "think" is okay and right for you.

Do you not understand what child support is for? It's for you to pay YOUR portion of what you would pay if you were still with the mother.

You "want" joint custody but you don't have it yet. You have to file to show a change from the first court order.

You better get a lawyer or talk to one because you sound like you're digging yourself into a hole.

It doesn't matter if she's getting along without your child support payments. THAT IS NOT WHY YOU WERE ORDERED TO PAY!! Yeah I get along fine without my ex husband paying child support. But he is ORDERED to pay a certain amount for our daughter, for his two kids with his ex wife and for his oldest with another woman. He doesn't pay it because he hasn't worked since last year. I've gotten a whopping $275. That was taken from his paycheck weekly for two months he worked. AND he is supposed to help with daycare - half. Half of unreimbursed medical. I can pay that stuff but it sure would help to get half of daycare every month (which half would be $400). It would just be nice to have him HELP at all! That's the point don't you get it? You two are supposed to co-parent not act like kids. What you pay her is to pay for what your portion would have been had you been with her still.

She is not supposed to withhold visitation from you for lack of child support. That's contempt. You can take her to court for that and possibly get time back. That's up to you. But you cannot just not pay child support because you disagree with the law.

That would be like people saying "I don't like stop signs so I'm going to ignore them." Or "I want some money I'll just go take it from this bank."
 
She has never withhold visitation from me. If she cancels because our child is sick , she always offers me a make up time. I just think we are better off having 50/50 as well as paying for our child in our own times respectively. My lawyer agrees and supports that 100% but last time we failed to obtain that and the judge has the court orders stay the same. So we are going to try again so I can have 50/50 for the remainder of my child's life. Before school starts for him.
 
So what has changed in the child's life since the last time the judge shot you and your attorney down? If you can't articulate that, then there is no reason for a judge to change his decision.
 
Gammyitup said:
She has never withhold visitation from me. If she cancels because our child is sick , she always offers me a make up time. I just think we are better off having 50/50 as well as paying for our child in our own times respectively. My lawyer agrees and supports that 100% but last time we failed to obtain that and the judge has the court orders stay the same. So we are going to try again so I can have 50/50 for the remainder of my child's life. Before school starts for him.
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"my child's mother used to let me take our child to day program on the day my visitation end, but she is always saying im late, which is true because my child gets up at nearly 5 am just to take him to day care at mother's schedule, which is 8 am." This made it seem like she withholds visitation and you said something somewhere else about it. Because you don't pay support.

It doesn't matter what you think. It matters what a judge thinks. If you can't show significant changes in that kid's life and yours since the original custody order, you aren't getting 50/50.

How will this improve your kid's life? Also you do realize that you still owe child support right? You're likely in arrears right now. That will follow you forever.
 
leslie82 said:
"my child's mother used to let me take our child to day program on the day my visitation end, but she is always saying im late, which is true because my child gets up at nearly 5 am just to take him to day care at mother's schedule, which is 8 am." This made it seem like she withholds visitation and you said something somewhere else about it. Because you don't pay support.

It doesn't matter what you think. It matters what a judge thinks. If you can't show significant changes in that kid's life and yours since the original custody order, you aren't getting 50/50.

How will this improve your kid's life? Also you do realize that you still owe child support right? You're likely in arrears right now. That will follow you forever.
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I said she has never withheld visitation from me. She did allow me to take our child to day care at the LAST day of my visitation, however I was always late. Which is why she decided to not allow me anymore . Again, she has never once withheld visitation.

My child needs both father and mother equal times so that is why I believe strongly In doing everything equally.
 

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