Coworker pulls down pants to show underwear to cooworkers

Deĺla

New Member
Jurisdiction
Idaho
I work for federal public housing. A coworker is constantly trying to seduce me. She knows I am married. Recently she pulled down her pants to show a cooworker and I her underwear. I don't want to get her fired because I like her alot and she needs the job. I need this behavior to stop. I fear she will retaliate and accuse me of leading her on because I am refusing her advances. This is causing trouble in my marriage. What is the best course of action.
 
Yes, you need this behavior to stop, and you need it to stop a lot more than you need her to keep her job. If she loses it, assuming you have provided the full facts, she has no one but herself to blame.

Tell HR. NOW. The best way to avoid any accusations on her part is to get your side of the story on record first.
 
Yes, you need this behavior to stop, and you need it to stop a lot more than you need her to keep her job. If she loses it, assuming you have provided the full facts, she has no one but herself to blame.

Tell HR. NOW. The best way to avoid any accusations on her part is to get your side of the story on record first.
The problem I have is that the coworker teasing her about the type of underwear she wore.. I was in the room with them and should have left immediately. But it happened so quickly. My bosses have already accused me of things I didn't do and tried to get me fired already. I have been looking for other work but have not been successful.
 
Well if you don't want to take action I suppose you shouldn't complain and just suffer whatever consequences should come along.
If I was your employer and found out about this kind of behavior, and that you were present and didn't report it, I would still fire you along with the others.
 
I am indeed worried about this. The behavior among bosses is pretty much the same. They are all inappropriate and laugh and condone the behavior.
 
I am indeed worried about this. The behavior among bosses is pretty much the same. They are all inappropriate and laugh and condone the behavior.
Except for the main boss. She is constantly putting out fires from employees that are unhappy with each other. It is just not a happy work environment
 
Report it to whoever you trust.
Sexual harassment issues, if this qualifies, are taken very seriously and even the bosses can lose their jobs if they don't handle it right.
To me, by not reporting it, it means that you were ok with it.
 
I will report it. I just have to decide the best way to do it. I am already walking on thin ice. But whatever it is I will need to do it quickly.
 
I will report it. I just have to decide the best way to do it. I am already walking on thin ice. But whatever it is I will need to do it quickly.

It might already be too late.
Keep seeking new employment, or prepare to seek unemployment.
Good luck, and for your sake, turn over a new leaf no matter how this ends.
 
It might already be too late.
Keep seeking new employment, or prepare to seek unemployment.
Good luck, and for your sake, turn over a new leaf no matter how this ends.
That is exactly what I am worried about. I'm worried that if I report it it will be brought to their attention. And they Will fire me anyway.
 
The only guarantee anyone gets in this life, mate, is death.
Once you're born, you begin to live knowing that one day everything ends.
Good, bad, or indifferent, death one day claims us all.
 
Look.

You can either report it, or not report it. There are no guarantees either way. But you can bet the rent that if you don't report it and there is later an accusation against you, it will be too late to defend yourself.

The time to protect yourself is now.
 
You do need to report it & you might continue looking for other employment. Good luck.
 
It's unanimous. Typically good deeds like these go punished later. What is your co-worker going to say if there are problems later and you accuse her of pulling down her pants to show off her underwear? If you think she'll admit it and you're wiling to risk your job, then that is your decision. But the way I view it is that if someone is harassing me at work and they should know better, if they lose their job it's not my fault - it's their fault. They brought it upon themselves. This is not like a minor miscommunication that results in an unforeseeable circumstance. If you want to be "nice" then you should make it clear to your co-worker. And if it was me, I'd probably notify HR as well about an incident and mention that it was worked out. I am quite confident all will agree with me that creating a paper trail that backs your account of events is essential.
 
I have been keeping a paper trailfrom the time they tried to fire me the first time. Detailed about every inappropriate behavior by my coworker.
 
I have been keeping a paper trailfrom the time they tried to fire me the first time. Detailed about every inappropriate behavior by my coworker.
Writing down and documenting what happened is not a paper trail. The trail must begin with someone separate from yourself and preferably with someone in HR. You would also do well with a trail of evidence from co-workers who have also seen these incidents that would qualify as sexual harassment. And if you don't complain to your company about it, they cannot take action. And if you're fired, you'll have a very challenging case, if any.
 
I understand. I have gone to Hr. It will be hard to get other cooworkers to cooperate because they kind of provoke it. After I went to HR, other coworkers warned me that my supervisor is following me around with a camera and has been documenting every step or move I make. My supervisor told the other cooworker what he was doing. He is looking for any mistake I make so they have an excuse to fire me.
 
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