Adoption

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KimStacy

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We are in a hopeful private adoption in Maryland. There were 2 possible birth fathers, who were both aware of the possibility of being the biological fathers,they knew during the birth mom's pregnancy. They were also both aware the baby was going up for adoption. We as the hopeful adoptive parents attended the doctor's appointments with the birth mom, and was there for the delivery. We have temporary custody since the birth of the baby. One possible guy signed off his rights. The other guy then would not sign off and said if this was his baby he now wanted the baby. Of course, we were heartbroken. He was sent a show cause order of the adoption which he sent in his forms contesting the adoption. During this time we still had temporary custody. A couple months later this guy changes his mind and had us re-draw the paper work he felt now the baby was better off with us...We were so happy!!! Months later unfortunately he never signed over his rights.Dna testing would need to be established. By this time the baby was about 11 months old. We had to pay for his dna testing. After a couple times he finally went to be tested. He was found to be the biological father. Our attorney then offered him open adoption...he agreed. We were so happy once again. This baby is our world and we would could not imagine a day without him. Through the birth mom this guy said if he did not see the baby he would not keep his promise to the open adoption.We agreed to meet him with the baby in a public place. We spent 2 hours..and everything went well. He then thanked us for taking such wonderful care of the baby..and once again promised us he would do the open adoption. A couple weeks later he now changes his mind again...he wants custody. Our angel is now over 17 months old. We have not heard anything from this guy. He has not pushed for a court hearing and nothing is being done. The contested form was sent in over 1 year ago...Do we still have a chance of adoption? Maryland statue states no consent is needed - The child has been out of the parent's custody for 1 year, and has formed a significant attachment to the petitioner.
He has never supported the child or maintained meaningful contact either. We are told the longer we have the baby the better our chances. Is this true? We are so emotionally drained...The birth mom stands by us firmly and still has her rights if ever this guy was to step in. She wants the adoption to go forward, however she did protect the child by keeping her rights if this guy was to stop the adoption. We are hoping since this guy is not doing anything that our chances would be good for adoption.
 
Unfortunately nobody here can tell you what will happen. If you have a competent adoption attorney you should be directing your questions at them.

Paternity must be established and the rights of the father signed away for an adoption-open or not-to occur. If this guy is the father he technically has dibs to the baby first. However since he has already agreed to the adoption and the baby is in your care, hopefully a judge will grant you full custody.

I am not sure if an open adoption is a good idea. The father's feelings are obviously stirring up and now he might want the child but once they sign off their rights and consent to the adoption, I say that should be the end of it. I am not an attorney so I dont know. If he never legally consented to the adoption though, he has a right to change his mind.

Good luck, let us know how everything goes. I know it would be devastating to you if you were to lose the child. That child sees you as mom and dad and it would be very disruptive to the child to remove him from your home.
 
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