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  1. #1

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    Joint custody, getting permission to move out of state

    My girlfriends lawyer says she should get it in writing, from her ex husband to allow her to move from Massachusetts to Connecticut because it inolves a 13 year old boy that she has physical custody of with her ex who has joint custody rights.

    The Ex husband likes to be difficult and wished to check out the town his son is moving to and run a criminal background check on me, which I am going to provide. He told his son he checked out the town and it looks nice. We anticipate that he will not put it in writing that we may move the child out of state, even though we have complied with his wishes of a background check.

    What should we do besides document all the conversations dates and our efforts to comply to his wishes and can we go ahead and make the move without violating any laws?



    Thank You Brian

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    The father does not have to approve of the move. I would not say he is being difficult, after all your girlfriend moving is going to interfere with current visitation likely.

    Joint custody means she just cannot get up and move wherever she wants.

    Your girlfriend is going to have to get either written permission from the father to move, Or file a motion in court to be granted permission by the courts to move.

    In order to move, she must show that it is in the best interest of the child. She has a better job lined up, family support, etc..

    If she is moving because of you, then that is probably not going to fly in court. Dad has more rights in this case than you do, but then you did not specifiy the reason for the move so I am not sure of the chance she will have in court of getting her request granted.

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    Actually, although she is moving out of state, it is to a town that is actually closer to her ex than where she currently lives, so visitation will be improved, the child is moving from a sub standard school system to a better school system the reason for the move is because we are in love and intend to get married. She got divorced from him because of mental and physical abuse and abandonment, he is a convicted felon and has been arrested for domestic abuse. Im sure we can show it is in the best interest of the child to move and we will take the step of filing a motion if necessary. Its just a shame make things go that far.

    Thank You Duranie for responding...

    Quote Originally Posted by Duranie
    The father does not have to approve of the move. I would not say he is being difficult, after all your girlfriend moving is going to interfere with current visitation likely.

    Joint custody means she just cannot get up and move wherever she wants.

    Your girlfriend is going to have to get either written permission from the father to move, Or file a motion in court to be granted permission by the courts to move.

    In order to move, she must show that it is in the best interest of the child. She has a better job lined up, family support, etc..

    If she is moving because of you, then that is probably not going to fly in court. Dad has more rights in this case than you do, but then you did not specifiy the reason for the move so I am not sure of the chance she will have in court of getting her request granted.

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    Oh by the way she is not changing jobs and would be closer to her workplace than she currently is.
    Quote Originally Posted by brian.frary
    Actually, although she is moving out of state, it is to a town that is actually closer to her ex than where she currently lives, so visitation will be improved, the child is moving from a sub standard school system to a better school system the reason for the move is because we are in love and intend to get married. She got divorced from him because of mental and physical abuse and abandonment, he is a convicted felon and has been arrested for domestic abuse. Im sure we can show it is in the best interest of the child to move and we will take the step of filing a motion if necessary. Its just a shame make things go that far.

    Thank You Duranie for responding...

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    His abuse during the marriage, or his felon has nothing to do with her request to move. She knew he was a felon when she married him and had kids with him right?

    You marrying a woman with kids with another man is going to have its limitations.

    If she is in fact moving closer to the ex, then maybe she may not have a problem moving. She needs to be prepared to be more than fair to get him to agree to it. She should provide at least 1/2 or all of transportation to visits.

    This exact issue is addressed all the time in family court. The fathers rights are taken into consideration too, not just hers. Joint custody does give each parent a little control ovr major decisions such as this.

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    He actually became a felon during their marriage, so no she didnt know that when she married him.

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    That still has nothing to do with her moving out of state, nor will it likely come into factor. Courts want the child to have a relationship with both parents. If moving will interfere with that then it needs to go to court if dad refuses.

    Her best bet is to offer him a deal he cannot refuse to get him to sign off on it.

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    Duranie,

    Thank you so very much for your responses. Your impartial advice helped shed light on the reality of the situation.. I will let you know how it goes... Thanks Brian..

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    Your welcome.

    I am not an attorney, please do not take my advice as "legal advice" but I do have some knowledge of family law. It seems like her attorney has given her some good advice on getting him to sign paperwork agreeing to the move. That might offer some protection in the future in case he tries to claim she moved without his permission.

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