Custody of Niece

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NHtoVA

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So this is a bit of difficult case and I understand that I may have no recourse. My niece is 15 months old. My brother and the mother are drug addicts. The mother is currently on heroine and pain killers. She is also faces two assault charges, one on my brother and one for some other girl. My brother is addicted to pain killer. They both have theft charges pending as my parents have pressed charged for stealing their checks. This investigation is still on going, however it appears that the mother was the one on the video cams writing the checks.

My brother, the mother and baby use to live with my parents however since the check writing incident, my parents kicked them out. They stayed with me for 2 days. While they were staying with my husband and I, we notice quite a bit of neglect. They did not feed my niece, allowed her to sit in a dirty diaper for hours, they would place her in a play pen and sleep through their detox. One night, the baby was screaming and I tried to soothe her to no avail. My brother picked her up by the arm and swung her into his hip (kind of viciously) went upstair to the mother. They then argue for 15 minutes about who should take care of her. My brother came back down stairs and tossed the baby on couch and laid with her, until she finally fell asleep. My husband and I just watched in awe. The child has been brought to the hospital many times for various infections, including vaginal yeast infection and MRSA. We have chosen to stay out of most of the drama however things are getting out of hand.

Since then, things have gotten worse. The mother has stated she wants nothing to do with my brother or the baby however she refused to sign her rights over. But she will show up demanding the baby. My brother will give her the baby and then 5 hours later the mother will text my mother or my brother and demand that they come get her because she's too much to handle. This is all done in text messages, that I'm sent when my mother and brother get annoyed with the mother.

My mother has brought my brother to the court for full custody with supervised visits for the mother but he will not sign the paper work needed for this to take place. My brother also has a learning disorder...think of "i am sam" but not as bad and I'm not sure if this is playing into it or if he just doesn't want to deal with it. He has told me he wishes that the baby wasn't here so he could back to partying and being young.

My husband and I are very stable emotionally and financially. We certainly would be able to care of my niece, the catch is that we live in VA and this is taking place in NH. My mother is trying to get my brother to get the courts involved and wants my brother to give custody to my husband and I, once he is able to get the rights from the mother either by voluntary or involuntary. I guess my question is, would we be able to have some sort of leverage if we obtain a lawyer?

Thanks for helping!
 
Help me better understand, so you saw the baby's daddy abuse the child, heard a domestic disturbance take place in front of the child, and simply stood in awe and did nothing? Yeah, gotta be careful these days.

The baby has recurrent vaginal infections, too, huh? Very unusual, but nothing to cause you and hubby to call the police or child protection about, right? MRSA, too? I had MRSA once after a major surgery, almost killed me. It put me in the hospital for a month! That baby must have a couple guardian angels in you and your sweet, hubby.

Now you want to be appointed the child's guardian, right? Why not you and your hubby, huh? It's not unusual for one state to allow a child to reside with a great family in another state, not unusual anymore than recurrent vaginal infections in a baby.

Super, but make sure you tell the judge EXACTLY what you told us.
It certainly caught my attention, and I'm sure you'll reel the judge in, too.
Good luck, guardians to be. You folks hire yourselves a lawyer, you're going to be amazing parents, no doubt in my former military mind.
 
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It's unusual for the state to place any child before conducting a thorough investigation. As it stands, OP and her family would have to prove BOTH parents unfit, and sorry but this doesn't rise to the legal definition of fitness.

Now, about little girls.

Yeast infections can be a chronic condition EVEN WITH THE BEST PARENTING. In fact, genital infections are the most common reason a parent seeks medical attention for their daughters. Some kids are more prone than others. Some never have any trouble. Given that the hospital is full of mandated reporters, it seems very unlikely they'd repeatedly ignore their responsibility - specially in this situation.

I'm also going to be blunt, so as not to be ambiguous.

OP, you have nothing. Grandma tried to wrest custody from Dad, and the court clearly didn't see any reason to trample Dad's rights and instead left it up to Dad (and Mom, actually) to agree. As unpleasant as this seems to you, the State is going to need hard, hard evidence to pull a child from her parents. That hard evidence was not proven.

There's another side of this that should be considered. Repeated attempts to gain leverage are going to end up with you and your family having absolutely no relationship with the child.

What really sinks you though is that you saw neglect but did nothing about it.

I'm sorry, because I know this isn't what you wanted to hear - but you deserve to hear the facts.
 
If Mom can't get the court to give her custody, why would you think your chances any better? No court is going to award sole custody to someone who intends to turn the child over to someone else.

If the child is being abused, call CPS. If either parent is committing a criminal act, call the police.
 
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