my 16 year old daughter

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JJCC

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Ok so I have a 16year daughter that I hvent seen in 6 years or so every time I would pick her up they made her believe what they were doing was much more fun so I kept having trouble getting her to come with me so after a couple years of not seeing I tried to get ahold of her through facebook but she sd she was happy where she was and wasnt ready for me so I backed off and just randomly sent cards to her address but i never got a responce back and I was to scared to show up and get rejected or them make a big deal so now its been 6 years and I havent seen her but I sent a long letter and now they are freaking out and telling her they will file abandonment against me and my daughter says she wants to see me and her step mom is making a big deal and telling her ugly things about me!! so secretly we have been talking but I dont want to do to talk to my daughter in secret, shes my daughter and why are thy or can thy take that right away from me!! what can I do? Shell b 17 in 4 months.. plus I have been paying child support all these years since 2008
 
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Do you have a custody/visitation order?
If so, enforce it. If not, get one.
You are in control here and from what you say you have CHOSEN to not see your daughter for six years. That is your own fault.
 
Ok so I have a 16year daughter that I hvent seen in 6 years or so every time I would pick her up they made her believe what they were doing was much more fun so I kept having trouble getting her to come with me so after a couple years of not seeing I tried to get ahold of her through facebook but she sd she was happy where she was and wasnt ready for me so I backed off and just randomly sent cards to her address but i never got a responce back and I was to scared to show up and get rejected or them make a big deal so now its been 6 years and I havent seen her but I sent a long letter and now they are freaking out and telling her they will file abandonment against me and my daughter says she wants to see me and her step mom is making a big deal and telling her ugly things about me!! so secretly we have been talking but I dont want to do to talk to my daughter in secret, shes my daughter and why are thy or can thy take that right away from me!! what can I do? Shell b 17 in 4 months.. plus I have been paying child support all these years since 2008

Congratulations, you're not like some people, called deadbeats.
You paid child support, that's a start.
Now,go to court, get yourself a visitation order.


Or, see if these nice people will help you make EVERYTHING legal.

They'll do it for any parent in your unfortunate position.


https://childsupport.oag.state.tx.u...SmlFL1o2XzgwODgxODQwS0c5TzcwQU9QRzRLMkMyMFA3/

Don't worry about the past, look to the future.
Your daughter seems willing to be in your life, too.
So, start the process, fix it.
 
yes I have visitation order from 2008 so I dont know if its still valid or what happens! since its been so long but I chose not to FORCE her not that I didn't want her or abandon her like her step mom is saying
 
I have visitation order but it was since 2008 so I dont know what they can do against me since its been so long but my daughter wants to see me but shes so scared of her step mom and dad its rediculous
 
yes I have visitation order from 2008 so I dont know if its still valid or what happens! since its been so long but I chose not to FORCE her not that I didn't want her or abandon her like her step mom is saying

Unless there has been new order its still valid. Your problem will be explaining why you waited so long to act on this. By the what changed that she now wants to see you?
 
Unless there has been new order its still valid. Your problem will be explaining why you waited so long to act on this. By the what changed that she now wants to see you?
well as far I know or have figured out is she never got any of my cards that I have sent every year…..and that I did do is send random cards with notes or letters for her but I never got a responce and she hasn't been as happy as she had told me she was and i saw her aunt 3wks ago and she told me my daughter needed me to try and get ahold of her so I sent a letter and her parents actually showed her the letter this time bcuz it said I say her aunt and she didnt want it to later bk fire and I was able to get someone to actually message her through her instagram and she responded real quik and she got my number since her step mom scratched out my number in the letter and told her she didnt need it
 
What changed from this "she sd she was happy where she was and wasnt ready for me" and why did you not pursue this harder? the court will ask same question on to why you waited six years! Not beating on you just telling what court might likely ask. Keep in mind shes a teen maybe a rebellious one and she sees you as escape from rules at home.
 
If you need to, go to court & see if you can get the visitation order enforced. It's too bad you waited so long though to use/bring up the visitation order.
 
16 yr old daughter

I sent various letters gifts and no responce and just figured she didnt want me apart of her life and not until recently i found out she wasnt getting my letters and everyone that knows her tells me how shes great kid she is not rebelious she lives in a 2 bedroom home with 7 brothers and another sister total of 9 kids and she says her step mom doesnt do much shes like the 2nd mom in that hoiuse cooks cleans washes while her step mom doesnt do anything but yell and complain about everythng! but she says she never yells at her step mom or disrespects her but yet she tells her she only thinks of herself :( always trying to play the victom trying to make my daughter feel sorry for her
 
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I guess I may need a lawyer for this to go smoother? Except for my daughter says she hates for this to go to court she wishes they wouldn't be making a big deal and just let her see me and talk to me
 
Then you need to inform Dad that you are planning on resuming your visitations, but first you wish to start with a few short (3-4 hr) visits on what would be your weekends (1st, 3rd and 5th, according to Texas Standard orders) to help with Daughter's comfort level with you and then plan on expanding into your current (2008) visitation order.

You don't need an attorney yet.
 
ok thank you, that sounds about right! I can breath... I feel like thats the best solution…. start slow! Thank u
 
Then you need to inform Dad that you are planning on resuming your visitations, but first you wish to start with a few short (3-4 hr) visits on what would be your weekends (1st, 3rd and 5th, according to Texas Standard orders) to help with Daughter's comfort level with you and then plan on expanding into your current (2008) visitation order.

You don't need an attorney yet.

In a perfect world this will work. However these people have already proven to be combative with your visits. Don't expect this to go well just hope it does
 
In a perfect world this will work. However these people have already proven to be combative with your visits. Don't expect this to go well just hope it does

So, Mom can notify Dad of what she would like to do via snail mail, certified with a return receipt, and keep the copy of the letter. If Dad rejects it, Mom can start building a case for court by consulting a local attorney.
 
Just a thought, have you considered a couple supervised (by social workers) visits, so the two of you could get reacquainted?

Also, parent and child counseling. You don't appear to need it, but why not go the extra mine? It'll surely quiet the busy body, meddling, conniving "step-wannabeyou-mother.
 
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