Visitation schedule modification

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Dtbco2505

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I am recently divorced. I have 18yo and a 14yo sons. In the divorce I agreed to a schedule of three days with me. And four days with his father. A few weeks after the divorce was final, my 14yo son tells me that he doesn't want to spend that much time at his fathers because he is, for a better term, verbally and emotionally abusive. I already knew this which is why I am divorced in the first place. When I separated from him a while back he became very threatening and he harassed me constantly. I got an order of protection against him. But it didn't do any good. He said that he only acted like that because I took the kids away from him. Trying to protect my children from having to deal with that behavior from him again, I agreed to everything he wanted in the divorce. 4 days with him, and 3 days with me. But the harassment hasn't stopped. And he's made it so that my sons don't really want to spend time with him. But he won't negotiate on what's best for our sons mental well being. He's even called the cops on me because I picked up my son from his house after they had a fight. I said let him stay here while you two cool down. But he called the cops and said I'm not following the agreement. And even tried to say I kidnapped him. I filed for modification of the schedule. But I'd like to know what I can do to to be prepared to state my case in front of a judge. I'm afraid that the judge will say that I agreed to the schedule. Why would I do that after I knew what he was like. But I was just trying to protect them from the threats and emotional abuse from when I took them the first time. It didn't work because the threats continue. And the mental abuse remains. On me and the kids. And they don't want to be around him. How do I prepare myself to let the judge see the truth?
 
Why did you agree to those terms if the situation was so poisonous? If the guy was abusing your children, why would you have set the terms so they spend the majority of the week with him? You are going to need to answer that as the judge is going to ask. Taking the kids at other times is violating the agreement. If the kids are in actual danger, call CPS or the police. If they just have a typical argument with Dad, stay out of it.

Counseling for all would be a fabulous idea.
 
Counciling didn't work for him. His girlfriend has deeper pockets than I have. I couldn't afford a long drawn out trial. He said he wouldn't be "crazy" like he was before if I didn't take the kids away. I thought I was protecting them. But he is who he is. He'll never change. Of course looking back, it was a horrible thing for me to expect Him to keep his word. But people will do whatever they think will make things better for their children. Which I did. I guess you'd have to be in that situation to understand. It's emotional abuse. So they aren't physically in danger. I was hoping for more of some advice on this site, and not someone basically telling me I was stupid for getting in this situation in the first place. But thanks for your time Ellemd.
 
Not counseling for him, counseling for you and the kids. Whether or not you agree with me, a judge is going to ask those very same questions, especially if you recently divorced and the agreement is fairly new. You do need a reason to request a modification. CPS does not just investigate physical abuse. If your kids are being emotionally abused, then by all means call and file a complaint. The chances that a judge will rule Dad can't see the kids at all or only supervised is slim to none if the environment was never bad enough to bother reporting and you recently agreed the kids should live with him more than half the time. Family court judges listen to parents mudsling, blame and make allegations all day long. They are used to hearing from teenagers who are difficult and have trouble adjusting to life with divorced parents and new SOs. They expect that there will be arguments and disagreements in even the best of situations. If you want your complaints to be taken seriously, and this is more than just typical teen angst and anger over the divorce, you need to take the appropriate steps.
 
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