Can ex withhold visitation from bio dad without court ordered custody

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ladylove32

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In 2008 mom filed for cash assistance ie child care, tanif, ect. Division of social services filed against my husband with out informing mom or him about it. When we received information mom and my husband contacted social services and mom informed them that she did not want court ordered child support because my husband and I have always paid her cash or check in hand every week for support of child. Social services made them repeat everything over a recorded phone call with all parties on the line. I think they even made mom send in a written statement waiving court ordered support. My husband and I have never had issue supporting his daughter we have even talked about filing for full custody since she is all of a sudden having issues supporting my husband's daughter now that she has had another child and gotten married in the last 2 years and is withholding visitation until she receives money /cash in hand and gets her just within the last 2 weeks court ordered child support. ( <---my opinion is child abuse but not sure if it is legally since there isn't established court ordered custody set yet). No my husband doesn't owe the state a single penny besides what they take from his check each week for taxes.They did this because neither one of them wanted my husband to end up in system for support in case of him becoming injured or losing his job for any amount of time and it causing bigger issues for all parties involved. Which she watched happen to her farther growing up. Before my husband and I were married we had the same thing happen to us prior to 2008 with DSS and we had to do the exact same steps except I volunteered giving a written statement because he did anything and everything for all 3 children. Our 2 plus his daughter whom I've been around and helping raise since she was 4.5 mos old when mom just up and left in the middle of the work day with. (Background)
So my question is: can mom all of a sudden withhold visitation rights from my husband because she wants money money money and is it considered child abuse that she won't let his daughter see him and is telling his daughter she isn't allowed to talk our text him out anyone in our family including her brother and sister? Please help!!!!!
 
Without court orders to the contrary, Mom is within her rights. And you are too involved.
 
ladylove32 said:
In 2008 mom filed for cash assistance ie child care, tanif, ect. Division of social services filed against my husband with out informing mom or him about it. When we received information mom and my husband contacted social services and mom informed them that she did not want court ordered child support because my husband and I have always paid her cash or check in hand every week for support of child. Social services made them repeat everything over a recorded phone call with all parties on the line. I think they even made mom send in a written statement waiving court ordered support. My husband and I have never had issue supporting his daughter we have even talked about filing for full custody since she is all of a sudden having issues supporting my husband's daughter now that she has had another child and gotten married in the last 2 years and is withholding visitation until she receives money /cash in hand and gets her just within the last 2 weeks court ordered child support. ( <---my opinion is child abuse but not sure if it is legally since there isn't established court ordered custody set yet). No my husband doesn't owe the state a single penny besides what they take from his check each week for taxes.They did this because neither one of them wanted my husband to end up in system for support in case of him becoming injured or losing his job for any amount of time and it causing bigger issues for all parties involved. Which she watched happen to her farther growing up. Before my husband and I were married we had the same thing happen to us prior to 2008 with DSS and we had to do the exact same steps except I volunteered giving a written statement because he did anything and everything for all 3 children. Our 2 plus his daughter whom I've been around and helping raise since she was 4.5 mos old when mom just up and left in the middle of the work day with. (Background)
So my question is: can mom all of a sudden withhold visitation rights from my husband because she wants money money money and is it considered child abuse that she won't let his daughter see him and is telling his daughter she isn't allowed to talk our text him out anyone in our family including her brother and sister? Please help!!!!!
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You should advise YOUR HUSBAND to go to court and get EVERYTHING on PAPER.
Absent any court orders, she can do whatever she desires with HER children.
If your husband wants to be involved in the lives of HER children, he can establish paternity, and get court orders to require her to make sure he visits with THE children.
Otherwise, you'll experience an ever increasing spiral of confusion, despair, and an air of screw you.
Get it on PAPER or no one is required to do what you, he, me, she, them, those, anyone wants!
Tell it to the JUDGE.
 
boyzgrrl said:
Without court orders to the contrary, Mom is within her rights. And you are too involved.
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To involved my husband and I have been together since his daughter was 7 months old and have 2 additional children together. I have taken care of his baby girl while his ex went out partying all the time with this boyfriend and that boyfriend. The only reason my dumb husband didn't take custody then is because he promised his ex he would never take their daughter away from her plus he wasn't sure if we were together for the long haul and wanted to make sure he was financially stable. Now he looks back at it and kicks himself in the rear everyday. Plus he works and I don't so it was easier for him to have me ask the questions. With that being said considering I have looked at his daughter like my own for the last 10+ years, how is she legally able to keep him from his daughter by demanding not only her recently filed child support but also demanding cash in hand as well?
 
army judge said:
You should advise YOUR HUSBAND to go to court and get EVERYTHING on PAPER.
Absent any court orders, she can do whatever she desires with HER children.
If your husband wants to be involved in the lives of HER children, he can establish paternity, and get court orders to require her to make sure he visits with THE children.
Otherwise, you'll experience an ever increasing spiral of confusion, despair, and an air of screw you.
Get it on PAPER or no one is required to do what you, he, me, she, them, those, anyone wants!
Tell it to the JUDGE.
Click to expand...

Thank you! Just so everyone knows I understand that step parents have no rights, I just was under the thought that paternity proven father's had more rights even without court order. But hey at least I'm one of the few step parents that actually care considering how often do many don't bc it isn't their blood. I appreciate your time.
 
ladylove32 said:
Plus he works and I don't so it was easier for him to have me ask the questions. With that being said considering I have looked at his daughter like my own for the last 10+ years, how is she legally able to keep him from his daughter by demanding not only her recently filed child support but also demanding cash in hand as well?
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Unmarried father's have ZERO rights and many obligations, until the unwed father goes to court, tells his story, and gets the rights that once married (now divorced) fathers have by virtue of once (or in the case of separated dad's) being married to the mother.

Unmarried rights by virtue of carrying the baby to term are legally vetsed with all the rights to parenthood.


If one day you and your hubby were to divorce, his rights would stand equal to yours.

In the case of this baby born out of wedlock, mom has ALL the rights to parenthood.

If your hubby desires fatherhood rights, off to court he must go and tell it to the judge.

FACT: In most cases, the man (bio-dad) will get his rights elevated to bio-mom's rights after the proceeding has ended!
 
That is not actually true that unwed fathers have no rights.
Depending on state and if the birth certificate was sign rights were there from birth.
I'll tell you from experience, I had one child out of wed lock and the father did sign.
I thought because there was no order that he could not see the child. WRONG, I got yelled at by the judge and I was accused of withholding visitation.
It all depends on the state and their view of when parental rights begin.
Courts rather you be nice then go before them.. do the right thing for the child. Hard lesson learned and it change my view on the way I interact with my now ex-husband.
Oh don't get me wrong he is rat and we fight fight fight... never over our children.. we love/hate each other but the child comes 1st

If the certificate is not signed by the father then DNA test is required.

In either situation a father just files for visitation, but I am not attorney who always tells you go to court.
 
hatesfamcourt said:
That is not actually true that unwed fathers have no rights.
Depending on state and if the birth certificate was sign rights were there from birth.
I'll tell you from experience, I had one child out of wed lock and the father did sign.
I thought because there was no order that he could not see the child. WRONG, I got yelled at by the judge and I was accused of withholding visitation.
It all depends on the state and their view of when parental rights begin.
Courts rather you be nice then go before them.. do the right thing for the child. Hard lesson learned and it change my view on the way I interact with my now ex-husband.
Oh don't get me wrong he is rat and we fight fight fight... never over our children.. we love/hate each other but the child comes 1st

If the certificate is not signed by the father then DNA test is required.

In either situation a father just files for visitation, but I am not attorney who always tells you go to court.
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Did you actually read AJ's post? :confused:

He said:

Unmarried father's have ZERO rights and many obligations, until the unwed father goes to court, tells his story, and gets the rights that once married (now divorced) fathers have by virtue of once (or in the case of separated dad's) being married to the mother.

Unmarried rights by virtue of carrying the baby to term are legally vetsed with all the rights to parenthood.
Click to expand...

You understand what that says, right?
 
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