My ex husband has not paid child support for almost two and a half mths we have a court order through domestics yet they really have not donr anything but tell him to hand in modification papers. He was reaponsiable to provide them medical and he doesnt do that either since december he has switched jobs 8 times so even if he would give thwm medical its never secure because he is always leaving his jobs. Hee expexts me to meet him half way for drop offs and will not take them if i dont meet him half way or take them the full way back and foreth. we have no custody order i walked away with them 4 years ago bc of his abuse my question is do i have to let him see them? Should i get a court order for them? Since he's not paying his child support is it right for him to even see them?
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child support and visitation
- Thread Starter danielle
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army judge
Super Moderator
Yes, a court order will help, but it won't make him improve.
It'll make getting your money easier, but it won't ensure he'll be ble to work and provide health care.
yes, don't deny him visitation.
But, you're not required to meet him halfway UNLESS a court orders you to do so.
Contact your state's chid support collecting and enforcement agency.
They'll help both of you get this sorted and get a court order issued.
They'll also help collect your money owed for back support.
https://www.humanservices.state.pa.us/csws/
Frequently asked questions about the process
https://www.humanservices.state.pa....UaHAPR2j3h9D1x5_MvlPGtW9XjDhQNLqgCAnnUkYMWMZ1
Be advised, if he wises up, he could make big trouble for you.
As former husband and wife, his parental rights are equal to yours until a court says otherwise.
You are playing a dangerous game, and it isn't just about support and health care.
Keep working with the agency to get this sorted.
It'll make getting your money easier, but it won't ensure he'll be ble to work and provide health care.
yes, don't deny him visitation.
But, you're not required to meet him halfway UNLESS a court orders you to do so.
Contact your state's chid support collecting and enforcement agency.
They'll help both of you get this sorted and get a court order issued.
They'll also help collect your money owed for back support.
https://www.humanservices.state.pa.us/csws/
Frequently asked questions about the process
https://www.humanservices.state.pa....UaHAPR2j3h9D1x5_MvlPGtW9XjDhQNLqgCAnnUkYMWMZ1
Be advised, if he wises up, he could make big trouble for you.
As former husband and wife, his parental rights are equal to yours until a court says otherwise.
You are playing a dangerous game, and it isn't just about support and health care.
Keep working with the agency to get this sorted.
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Thank you for your input once he moves to his new address I will be filing for custody of my girls if I may ask you I have them full time and make all decisions for them at this point will a judge grant that for me on paperwork bc if possible I would like to have physical primary custody with him having visitation
Proserpina
Moderator
Two months is nothing - I wouldn't hold my breath for a quick resolution if I were you.
Yes, he's entitled to see the kids; child support is not a ticket to see your child and you don't want to hurt your kids just because you're not getting any money, right?
The court won't penalize him for not having insurance; generally they'll only do that if it's available at a reasonable cost and the parent is willfully refusing.
You should also expect for the court to make you jointly responsible for transportation, and joint legal (decision making) custody is the norm, with physical custody assigning a primary parent and the other having visitation.
Yes, he's entitled to see the kids; child support is not a ticket to see your child and you don't want to hurt your kids just because you're not getting any money, right?
The court won't penalize him for not having insurance; generally they'll only do that if it's available at a reasonable cost and the parent is willfully refusing.
You should also expect for the court to make you jointly responsible for transportation, and joint legal (decision making) custody is the norm, with physical custody assigning a primary parent and the other having visitation.
I appreciate your Input also but this isn't about the money he owes almost 3,000.00 at this time and my current husband handles everything for these kids so that's not the problem, it's the lake of being a father and not wanting to do anything for these kids besides having everyone else kiss his butt. I for one am not a butt kisser nor should anyone be. I should add this is a abusive parent/alcoholic which is why I have these kids 99 percent of the time. He doesn't want to take care of them he doesn't want to pay for them but he wants to see them. The kids would not be hurt by not seeing this man I think it's worse for them to be there seeing their dad hung over on the couch then having to go with his mother bc he can't take care of them when he does have them. They are better of home. Also again him lacking the responsibility to help bringing them back and forth he denied seeing his daughter bc he didn't want to meet half way he wanted me to bring her all the way there and pick her up if he wants to see his child he can pick her up and I in return would pick her up to come home. This was his plan meeting half way now he doesn't even want to do that. I'm hoping for the court to give me what I'm asking for bc he's not sharing the responsibility as a father he wants everyone else to do it for him while he does what he wants.
army judge
Super Moderator
Madam, file the papers or not, your call.
Frankly, you chose him, none of us even recommended him to you.
So, please spare us the invective.
He was your number one draft pick.
It didn't work out, 50% don't work out (or so we're told), let it go.
Pretend he's still number one draft pick so your kids can salvage something.
In 10-15 years,they'll be 18 and he'll be forgotten.
Or, you can forego the support, and do it on your own.
They're your kids, too.
You don't need the money, you won't have to take the abuse.
Heck, you can hire a trusted person to deliver the kids.
That way, you'd never have to see him.
Whatever you do is your choice.
Good luck.
Frankly, you chose him, none of us even recommended him to you.
So, please spare us the invective.
He was your number one draft pick.
It didn't work out, 50% don't work out (or so we're told), let it go.
Pretend he's still number one draft pick so your kids can salvage something.
In 10-15 years,they'll be 18 and he'll be forgotten.
Or, you can forego the support, and do it on your own.
They're your kids, too.
You don't need the money, you won't have to take the abuse.
Heck, you can hire a trusted person to deliver the kids.
That way, you'd never have to see him.
Whatever you do is your choice.
Good luck.
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Proserpina
Moderator
None of this matters. CSE will try to enforce the support order, but other than that Dad doesn't have to exercise parenting rights. It's also a bit late to start alleging things against Dad.
Anonymousworld
Banned
Shame on all of you this woman is reaching out for help. Read what she is trying to say this man is obviously still abusive maybe not to her but her children. You are giving nothing to this woman but telling her to hide behind rocks. Shame on you. This is why abused people don't leave people who abuse them because people like you give them no help. My dear you are a wonderful mother for one you are doing the right thing by trying to find help. No parent deserves rights to children if they are abusive and show neglect. You can file a pfa against him make sure you have proof of abuse always bring someone with you when you pick your children up someone you trust. Call child services get them involved. He could get his act right but it sounds like he already on a messy track. Your doing the right thing keep your head up get a lawyer and make sure you have record of everything. No child deserves abuse everyone should protect them even if they don't know them.
Ty for understanding people don't ever seem to get it. I will do what you say when the abuse is present I told him today he has to bring her back home if he wants me to drop her off it's a 45 minute drive my husband is full time military and wants to ring his neck but I'm trying to do everything the right way otherwise he would be the abused one. It really sucks to see your kids hurt over any situation I'm going to protect my children from a low life. This man was not abusive when I picked him he was a good man worked for a prison as a corrections officer had his shit together then began drinking after our first child and physically hurt me and my two daughters no I can't to anything about that now bc I already did I left him. But the alcohol still continues and the abuse and neglect towards them still continues and I will be put in my grave before I allow him to continue to do this to my 5 and 4 year old they are innocent and deserve a better father then that. Which I have also given them they have a good step dad a beautiful home food on the table and a good mom who is trying to protect them
army judge
Super Moderator
Your IP addresses gave you away.
That was unnecessary.
No one disrespected you, but you flamed and trolled the mods; and you did so by creating a trolling account and posted a note 10 minutes before you posted.
army judge
Super Moderator
Hello, Danielle:
Your IP addresses gave you away.
That was unnecessary.
No one disrespected you, but you flamed and trolled the mods; and you did so by creating a trolling account and posted a note 10 minutes before you posted.
Bye Bye
army judge
Super Moderator
I love that IP check.
It gets those miscreants every time.
It gets those miscreants every time.
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