legal gaurdians rights

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kwood81

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My adopted son is a 19 yr old autistic person and my husband and I have legal guardianship of him. Most of the time he comes and goes as he pleases but there are a few issues that come up concerning his safety so we do have 1 or 2 things we fobid him to do. He forgets all the time and has a very Low attention span, so we DO NOT want him to ride his bike to work in the Dark, there are VERY busy streets we are concerned about. NO its not an issue we will compromise about since walking takes only 10 mintues from work to home. DO we have any legal rights when he say's, " I do not care you will not rule me!" and yes we are in the process of trying to find him more suitable housing arrangements for his benefit but he just says no to everything. He is not able to have help from the state at this moment ( I'm Working on it) and he only works 3 days a week. He thinks anything we suggest is a prison, he clearly cannot understand whats best! Do I have the right to show him how it is without us, just so he may understand a little! ( lock door for a couple of hour, etc.) We are trying to be good parent but it is hard! Help Please!!!
 
FYI, the correct term is a person with Autism. Most persons in the ASD take offence when referred to as "Autistic."

Parenting a child or person with Autism ia a hard task. The low attention span, forgetfulness, and lack of empathy are clear markers for some people with Autism. It really takes patience to get through. Have you consider talking to a behavior therapist or a transitional coach at the local school district? At 19, he may still qualify for some support. If not, perhaps their is a local non-profit that can give you pointers.

I don't think locking him out will be appropriate or helpful. He may not be able to prossess it like an adult as he is probably more of a concrete thinker. One thing that helps with my much younger son (also with autism) is visuals. Maybe you can get some pictures and make signs showing a bike in the Dark and a circle crossed out through the middle with the word "do not ride the bike at night."

Not the exact answer you were looking, but hope it helps :).
 
My son is soooo highly capable that he does not qualify for any of those services ,I am trying to find somewhere that will help. As for him understanding danger, he is fully capable of that he just tells me I disagree and refuse to listen. Just to let you know his capabilities , he attends the Art institute of Phoenix to become a pastry chef and he does carry A's and B's. He just needs to call me 7 times a day about silly things. Sometimes he gets soooo worried about trival things that he needs to talk to me frequently. He tells me if He doesn't get his way he's just going to do it anyway. He also works at Safeway part time and spends all his money on silly things. we have told him if he saves his money maybe one day he can live in an apartment close to us. But I really do not know if he will ever be able. I have younger children at home and he knows all the right ways to care for them, ( NOT that I ever would let him alone) just to give you an idea of some of what he can understand. I just do not think it is nice when he says, " you can't do anything to me anyway so ha!" Boy is it difficult when they grow up ;)
 
Thanks for all your replies. I am very sensitive to anyone with autism I have fostered many children and children with Autism. This is just my first experience with transitioning from child to young adult and having guardianship. I just think My son needs a little life lesson, but I'm not sure how to go about it! ;)
 
You may no longer be able to care for him properly, mother.
It might be advisable to CONSIDER relinquishing guardianship.
You have no legal obligation that demands you take on his guardianship.
He's an adult.
I understand your concerns, but he can't or doesn't care.
His responses to your simple requests aren't appropriate.
Should he break the law, or speak that way to some STRANGERS, he could find himself in great distress.
I feel your love and concern for him, but at his age that usually isn't enough.​
 
I totally understand. My youngest has ADHD, ODD, and Anxiety. Oldest has Autism. They don't need to be all grown up to talk back :(. As parents we do need guide them to make the right decissions. I aploud you for that.

May I make a suggestion, you may be in the wrong forrum for your question. Maybe try posting in a forrum for parents with Autism. Better yet, find a local support group. Try finding a local non-profit agency to help you out. What you need is to find like minded parents to vent and to share your experiences/frustrations. In my town there is such a center that offers parent group sessions facilitated by a psycologist. I've actually attended some sessions. They've help me learn strategies on how to deal with various situations. Just meetinf other parents has been a good eye openner.
 
I totally understand. My youngest has ADHD, ODD, and Anxiety. Oldest has Autism. They don't need to be all grown up to talk back :(. As parents we do need guide them to make the right decissions. I aploud you for that.

May I make a suggestion, you may be in the wrong forrum for your question. Maybe try posting in a forrum for parents with Autism. Better yet, find a local support group. Try finding a local non-profit agency to help you out. What you need is to find like minded parents to vent and to share your experiences/frustrations. In my town there is such a center that offers parent group sessions facilitated by a psycologist. I've actually attended some sessions. They've help me learn strategies on how to deal with various situations. Just meetinf other parents has been a good eye openner.


That's actually an excellent idea.

Forums such as this tend to deal with the legalities, and can be quite black and white.

The support forums though? There are many online and most are hugely more supportive that a legal forum. fotb nailed it.

With that said, if you get suggestions for legal issues, many posters are completely clueless when it comes to the law.

So keep looking for support groups, and leave the legalities to forums like this. :)
 
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