How to give my Aunt Guardianship of me?

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idontdrum

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My mother has custody of me. My dad is alive, they're still married, but they're separated, and doesn't have rights to me.

Now, problem is, my mom is addicted to narcotics. She's unfit for me. I've personally seen her snort pills, get "sleepy" while driving, and lie to get pills from other people. She's bipolar, and the pills don't mix well. She's mentally unstable.

Fortunately, I've stayed with my grandparents for the past few years. For over half a year now, I have only stayed two nights at my mom's house. I go to school in proximity of their home, and they take care of me. Sad thing is, I don't know how much longer they have to live.

My aunt has always been there for me. She's the only one who knows of my problems, and she's helped me through it all. She wishes for me to stay with her legally. I do, too. She has three kids, and they're basically my bestfriends. Ages: 14, 16, & 18. They only have 3 rooms, though. One for my aunt and her husband, one for the daughter, and one for her sons. We talked about saying the 18 y/o is staying on the couch and me and the son share rooms, if issue arises. Also, neither of them are unemployed, but get money from the fathers mother, but they have plenty of money. The mother lives on their property with them.

Point is, my mom is obviously unfit. My grandparents take good care of me, but they're very old. I don't know if the courts look at that or not. My aunt would be best, but I'm not sure if she could due to her not being able to supply me of my own room.

I just don't want in a foster care system.

I also have major surgery on my spine due in summer, and my mother demands that she takes care of me. I can't let that happen. I want my aunt to, she's literally the only one fit to. My mom resents my aunt, though, and won't allow it probably.

I'm 16, and thank you.
 
My mother has custody of me. My dad is alive, they're still married, but they're separated, and doesn't have rights to me.

Now, problem is, my mom is addicted to narcotics. She's unfit for me. I've personally seen her snort pills, get "sleepy" while driving, and lie to get pills from other people. She's bipolar, and the pills don't mix well. She's mentally unstable.

Fortunately, I've stayed with my grandparents for the past few years. For over half a year now, I have only stayed two nights at my mom's house. I go to school in proximity of their home, and they take care of me. Sad thing is, I don't know how much longer they have to live.

My aunt has always been there for me. She's the only one who knows of my problems, and she's helped me through it all. She wishes for me to stay with her legally. I do, too. She has three kids, and they're basically my bestfriends. Ages: 14, 16, & 18. They only have 3 rooms, though. One for my aunt and her husband, one for the daughter, and one for her sons. We talked about saying the 18 y/o is staying on the couch and me and the son share rooms, if issue arises. Also, neither of them are unemployed, but get money from the fathers mother, but they have plenty of money. The mother lives on their property with them.

Point is, my mom is obviously unfit. My grandparents take good care of me, but they're very old. I don't know if the courts look at that or not. My aunt would be best, but I'm not sure if she could due to her not being able to supply me of my own room.

I just don't want in a foster care system.

I also have major surgery on my spine due in summer, and my mother demands that she takes care of me. I can't let that happen. I want my aunt to, she's literally the only one fit to. My mom resents my aunt, though, and won't allow it probably.

I'm 16, and thank you.

People try to do all sorts of clever and difficult things to improve life instead of doing the simplest, easiest thing—refusing to participate in activities that make life bad.
- Leo Tolstoy

Your note was quite well written, but made me rather sad.

I felt your pain.

I'm sorry you're hurting.

I wish I could offer you a simple solution.

All I have is the truth.

You can go anywhere you want to in less than 24 months, when you become an adult.

Right now, tomorrow, I suggest you ask your aunt and uncle to discuss all of this with you.

Before you begin to speak, ask them to read your plea.

That'll set the stage for an excellent dialogue.

Now, be patient, let them absorb it all.

This is your life, and no one knows it better.

Allow them time to think about your wants, needs, desires, feeling, and thoughts.

Heck, let them cogitate on it or a week or two.

Then reconvene and discuss it in more detail.

Let me know by posting back how this progresses.

I've got a couple more ideas and thoughts I'll reveal over the next few weeks.

Let's take baby steps, okay?

In the interim, familiarize with your states's laws on custody.

You need to comprehend why things might not end up the way you want them to end.

http://cordellcordell.com/resources/tennessee/tennessee-child-custody-questions/

http://www.state.tn.us/tccy/tnchild/36/36-6-106.htm
 
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I appreciate this, I really do.

My aunt already knows about my position, and it scares her. I'll talk to her about that and get back to you.

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In your state you can't petition for a change in custody yourself.

Unfortunately, you don't have a say in where you live - it's entirely up to Mom at this point.

Now if she was legally unfit (more on that in a second or two), that might change things dramatically.

The problem is that the "acceptable" standard of parenting is very, very low. Aunty can file to change custody to her, but if Mom doesn't agree and is legally fit, it won't work.

These are things that may result in the court to decide a parent is unfit

Marrying a child sex offender and leaving you in the offender's care (actually for the most part the first bit is usually all that's necessary)

Leaving you without food and a roof over your head

Physically abusing you (spanking is "legal" for the most part, unless it leaves a significant injury. Personally, I think a parent who still spanks a teen is out of line but it's not my call)

A history of domestic violence

A history of drug use

Keeping you out of school for no good reason

Using you (in any way shape or form) to commit crimes

_________

It is also possible for several "not a big deal" issues to be combined and used to show the parent unfit.

Unfortunately hon, it's very very hard to convince a court that the parent is unfit, without having child protective services involved first.

I do think that your Aunt should look at the situation in great depth. It may even be possible for her to convince Mom that it's in your best interest to live elsewhere.
 
I appreciate this, I really do.

My aunt already knows about my position, and it scares her. I'll talk to her about that and get back to you.

Sent from my ZTE V768 using Tapatalk 2

I want to protect your privacy, so please answer this so you help me protect your privacy.

You say you are 16 years old, right?

How many months before your 18th birthday?

How are you doing in school? When are you scheduled to graduate from high school?

In your state Tennessee, you reach the age of majority at age 18 or upon graduation from high school, whichever comes later. There are a few states where you reach majority at age 19, and one (Mississippi) where you reach majority at age 21.

Read this, please, OP:

http://contests.about.com/od/sweepstakes101/a/agemajoristate.htm

Have you ever had any negative contacts with the police, resulting in juvenile court or adult court criminal proceedings?
 
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I'll be 18 in about 20 months. I'm 16, yeah.

I do extracurricular activities, I make c's and above, but my state test scores are always above average.

I've never been in trouble.

Today, my grandma was hospitalized. I don't know her condition yet, but she's sick. Also, forgot to mention this, but someone called DHS on my mom a few weeks ago, and she failed the inspection. They gave her two weeks to fix the problems, though, and fix them, she did.

Again, thank you.


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Grandma is sick. They say she will probably die in a few weeks to a year. Once that happens, my grandpa will stay with my aunt.



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