im still fighting

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rebechavez

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i have a continuing problem with child custody. i was in a gay relationship which i terminated. i was also abusing prescription drugs, since then i completed a re-hab program and i am 5 months sober. I also started a new job and living in a new city at my mothers house.. My ex was caring for my biological daughter and we have been to mediation. My ex wanted full custody and told the mediator that she has that right because her name is on the birth certificate as the father. As it turns out I was awarded 50 percent and the ex went crazy. She has a high power attorney and has served me again. She wants me to have my biological baby every other weekends only. She never adopted my baby and claims she was the primary caregiver because i was absent during my stay at the recovering center and claims i abandoned her. I have limited funds and cannot afford to pay an expensive attorney. My question is, I found out that she is going for the de facto parenting plea should i be worried????? she has stated that immediatly after the trial she is moving to Rota, Spain can she do that????
 
If you were never legally maarried or registered as domestic partners, and if she never adopted, then she has no real claim to the child.
Considering your circumstances it seems the child should be with the biological father.
If the father is unknown or has somehow been absolved of parental responsibilities then the state/county is responsible for temporary placement.
Your circumstances may have led to placement with the ex if she was willing and nobody else was asserting parental rights.
She can go to Rota any time she likes, but she will have difficulty taking the child with her. Trying to do so may get the child taken away and placed in foster care.
 
For what it is worth, her name listed as father on the birth certificate means absolutely nothing. It is actually a falsified document.

You need legal assistance and shouldd not be mediating with someone who has no right to the child... just know that preventing her from getting custody does not mean you will automatically get custody.... it depends on your circumstances and the evaluations of social workers.
 
I disagree that the ex doesn't necessarily have rights here - California DOES recognize de facto parenting and there are NO set standards to define such.

De facto has been awarded in cases much more complex like this to "second parents" in similar situations.

OP is in a situation where she literally cannot afford NOT to have an attorney.
 
If they were not legally married or registered as domestic partners I wouldn't expect she would have any standing as any kind of parent.... she would essentially have babysitter status.
Still, if the biological father is not known or otherwise responsible, the scenario given makes sense and is likely subject to oversight by social services, and attempts to leave the country will still go badly.
 
I'm sorry to hear that you are going through that situation, it is so painful, emotionally and mentally draining that if you don't have any one positive believing in you and on your side it can turn into a depression that could sometimes be not so good with recovery or sanity. Seriously, the people that is making the decisions about your child every day nurturing, emotional state, physical health/appearance only see black and white. With that said u may have done everything you were assigned, while holding down a job, maintaining a beautiful home, you have to be strong first. Then take the time to go to legal aide, enough is never enuff for these people that can't imagine you emotional state of mind ND thoughts. Document every thing, show your bond number one!! These people, some never seen throughout ur case can say weather or not your biological, giving birth to, nine month carrying/loving, WORLD TO U BABY WILL OR WILL NOT BE TOO DAMAGED OR EMOTIONALLY EFFECTED BY THE SEPARATION OF ITS BIOLOGICAL KNOWN TO AND BONDED TO MOTHER.. SO BE SAFE AND JUST DO MORE, DOCUMENT IT, COPY & SEND,GAIN SUPPORT, FO TO LEGAL AIDE AND GET UR BABY
 
strawGill, please do not respond to old threads - thanks.
 
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