Originally Posted by mightymoose
That is of course a most excellent point. It's not as if girlfriend is saying "Hey, Doc, start doing X regimen instead of the one he's on" and the doc is just saying "Oh, yes, right, I'll do that immediately even if there's no reason to do so".
My concern wasn't the fact that ex husband's g/f is transporting to the appointments, it's the fact that she is having him put on extra meds w/o the consent of myself or ex's. She is telling the doctor things that isn't true, so the doctor has added new meds that my son doesn't need. Also in the state of Illinois civil unions, are almost identical to a marriage, very few differences.
Once again thanks Mightymouse
"Very few" differences still means some differences. They may be more or less the same on the state level, but they still are not the same at the Federal.
Don't get me wrong - if it were up to me any two people who wanted to get married would be able to, regardless. But from a LEGAL sense as regards a child, stepparents, partners from civil unions, and girlfriend/boyfriends are all on exactly the same level - they are legal strangers (which is a legal term and does not reflect the emotional relationship the adult may have with the child).
I both am and have a stepmother; it's not like I don't have some experience here.
I still doubt that Dad isn't aware of what his girlfriend is doing or consenting to her telling the doc A, B or C.
That aside - how do YOU know your son doesn't need extra meds? I'm not being snarky - it's a genuine question. Are you a physician qualified to diagnose and treat?
How do you KNOW what she's telling the doctor?
Don't you think if Dad had an issue with this, he'd have done something about it?
My son is ADHD, I don't doubt that for one minute, however the g/f & Dad both think that son is impulsive, extra hyper, so forth and so on. I have tried telling the doctor that I feel that they are snowballing my son, in terms that he is taking added meds he doesn't need. Son is with me most of the time, and I don't see any of what they are talking about. I have been the one transporting to appts for over a year, and it was the same med the whole time. Ex's g/f takes him to two appts and now more meds. I'm trying to figure out how to put on end to this..... My son is 7 yrs old, he does have adhd but doesnt need to take extra meds. And I know what she tells the doctor because I have looked at medical records, and she think she knows everything so i've heard it from her own mouth.
Samaritan & Scholar
It really is quite easy. Review your custody orders for any language about medical matters regarding the child. Then, hold to those terms and hold your ex to those terms.
Originally Posted by stacysgirl11
If you don't agree with the medication your son was prescribed then confiscate the medicine and take him to another doctor of your choice for another opinion.
If you want, seek a modification to the custody order that stipulates that at least one parent must be present at the doctor visits.
You are not helpless here- you are the only one that can bring about the changes you seek. Nobody can do it for you.