Can I legally obtain custody of my niece?

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jessicakelley

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My niece was born when her mother was only 15. As soon as she was born, her mother went back to her pre-baby lifestyle of sleeping around and my mother and I have been raising said baby between us her whole life. Em lives with her mother because her mother lives with our mother. Em is constantly going back and forth between my and my mother's houses. I would like to see if I can get custody of her because her mother is now 19 and is expecting another child with a man who has admitted to hitting and leaving bruises on both my sister and Em and who is also very jealous of any time my sister spends with Em. This guy works 1-2 days a week for 3-4 hours a day making, on average, $40 a week. Her mother is not working and they are all depending on my mother. My sister and her boyfriend have little to no time to give to Em as they are so wrapped up in each other. They leave her in the main part of the house for hours at a time while they shower together and when he brings food home from work, they sit outside so that my sister can eat without being begged for the food. My mother has asked me if I would be able to take Em and my husband and I agreed that it would be no burden to us at all as she has already spent much of her time with us and calls us Mom and Daddy. We have 2 children of our own who love having Em over and we have a spare bedroom at our house that we decorated for Em when we first moved in. He and I both have steady incomes, our bills are always paid on time and there is always food on our dinner table. As of last week, after an argument with our mother, my sister and her boyfriend are wanting to move back to his hometown where they will have no home for a while or job opportunities and they are wanting to take my niece with them. Is there any way I could possibly get a lawyer who would side against the biological mother? Sorry for the long post. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
 
If the child isn't being neglected or abused, you have virtually no chance of obtaining custody unless both parents agree to you having custody.

If the child IS being neglected or abused, you need to involve child services IMMEDIATELY.

Unfortunately (for you), nothing you have said would suggest that the parents are legally unfit. It is also an EXTREMELY bad idea to allow this child to call you Mommy and Daddy - you are correcting her when she does this, yes?
 
That wasn't the answer I was hoping for. I just want what's best for that baby. She is only 3 1/2 and doesn't understand why she's never with her mother.
 
I suggest you keep a close eye on your property.

It is highly likely that your sister and her man are drug addicts.

You might give your mom a heads up about them.

One day, you're all likely to discover that sis and her stallion have cleaned all of your valuables out and high tailed it for parts unknown.

No good deed goes unpunished.

Danger, danger, Jill Robinson, danger!!!!
 
I'm sure it wasn't the answer you wanted.

But, it's the legal reality.

She needs to understand that you are NOT Mommy, and your husband is NOT Daddy.

You're confusing the issue even moreso.
 
To Proserpina: We never told her to call us mom and daddy, she sees our children do it. She still calls her mother 'mom', but she also calls my mother 'mom'.

To Army Judge: We already know that my sister and her boyfriend use drugs. They purchase pot regularly with his 'paycheck'. Mostly for him, as far as I know, my sister quit when she got pregnant. And, yes, they have stolen things from us, but we were able to get it back because they took it to the pawn shop where my good friend works and she knows what belongs to me and called the police on them.
 
This doesn't really change anything.

(Well..except that what you said really wasn't accurate ;). She's calling ALL women "Mom", apparently - she's not singling you out for anything special. A bit different from what you implied, but anyway).

Unless both parents are proven unfit, you have no chance at all of getting custody against the wishes of the actual parents.

In a hope to give you an idea of what does prove a parent unfit, here are some examples:

Getting several DUIs with the child/ren present.
Exposing the child to a convicted child molester.
Repeated proven instances of abuse and neglect.
Being so high that you pass out and your baby injects herself with heroin.
Being incarcerated for an extended period of time (think at least a year).

Jessica, the acceptable standard of parenting in this country is depressingly low. It takes an awful lot for the State to remove a child from the parents - and generally, unless the abuse is extreme, the parents will be given at least a couple of chances to "clean up their act" ; reunification with the parents is the desired goal.

Again, I realize this isn't what you want to hear, but you do need to hear the truth.
 
Pot, pshaw.

Those two are on the ard stuff, too.

Pot's cheap, and most potheads don't need to steal to support their habit.

I'm guessing meth or crack are in play here.

Have they got sores on their faces?

Are their teeth rotting in their skulls?

Meth or crack.

You've already said they behave erratically.

It ain't my problem.

They aren't stealing my stuff.

I was only trying to help.

But, you already knew what I only suspicioned.
 
I really do appreciate everything you've told me. You're right, it's not what I wanted to hear. But, at least, it's the truth. I didn't mean to imply that I am the only one she calls 'mom'. However my husband is the only one she calls 'dad' as he is the only father figure that has ever been in her life. I think I will still talk to my attorney to see if there is anything that can be done. If nothing, well, my sister just called me and told me that if I really want Em, that she will give her to me and sign whatever she has to.
 
I really do appreciate everything you've told me. You're right, it's not what I wanted to hear. But, at least, it's the truth. I didn't mean to imply that I am the only one she calls 'mom'. However my husband is the only one she calls 'dad' as he is the only father figure that has ever been in her life. I think I will still talk to my attorney to see if there is anything that can be done. If nothing, well, my sister just called me and told me that if I really want Em, that she will give her to me and sign whatever she has to.


Fancy that, you're posting about this, and she calls and agrees to your desires.

Yup, fancy that!

Well, that solved your problem.

Hey, you've got an attorney, too?

Good for you.

You didn't need our dumb, old, stupid, cranky advice anyway.

Good luck.
 
No sores or twitches or rotting teeth or anything that I've noticed. The boyfriend is an alcoholic though and I'm sure that played a part in it, not to mention his constant smoking cigarettes too. They only took a few rings that, all together, would have got them maybe $50.
 
I loved the advice. She called because Em is up at 2am crying that she wants her princess bed and my sister's boyfriend is trying to sleep because he has to get up at 1pm tomorrow.
 
Be the best Aunty that you can. That's honestly all you can do at this point.

And again - if you're even vaguely concerned that there's serious neglect going on? Get in touch with child services. Let them start an investigation and go from there.
 
OP, you do have one long-shot option.

If you can convince the child's mom and father to to agree to guardianship or custody to go to you, it can be done. Outside of that, you have no chance.
 
To MorgansDaddy: Her father has no idea she even exists. And her mother has already agreed that I can have her. We are meeting with my lawyer next Monday to get everything in order.
 
Dad will NEED to be notified - and he may even need to consent. Don't count those chickens yet.

And if it turns out that Mom has deliberately hidden the child? Watch out. Because DAD can get custody.

If your attorney didn't mention this, you need a different attorney.

Now.
 
Who is this Proserpina??....JessicaKelly never said that she "singles" them out to call them "mom" or "dad", nor did she imply that. but what she was saying is that she DOES know them and feels comfortable enough to refer to them as "mom" or "dad". Furthermore, the child is only 3, of course she may call women that are close to her "mom", but that clearly is an irrelevent factor anyway. JessicaKelly you have not done anything wrong by allowing that baby to call you what she wants to call you. Also you should seek out a custody attorney. You definitely have said enough to prove that she is an UNFIT parent, and if the boyfriend admitted to "hitting" the child, then that is abuse. Prosperpina either you don't have children and don't care about their walefare, or you are a mother who is also guilty of being unfit, and so you find this post offensive. Either way, attacking this lady or implying that she is being inconsistent with her statements is very insensitve.
 
Completely Agree

Who is this Proserpina??....JessicaKelly never said that she "singles" them out to call them "mom" or "dad", nor did she imply that. but what she was saying is that she DOES know them and feels comfortable enough to refer to them as "mom" or "dad". Furthermore, the child is only 3, of course she may call women that are close to her "mom", but that clearly is an irrelevent factor anyway. JessicaKelly you have not done anything wrong by allowing that baby to call you what she wants to call you. Also you should seek out a custody attorney. You definitely have said enough to prove that she is an UNFIT parent, and if the boyfriend admitted to "hitting" the child, then that is abuse. Prosperpina either you don't have children and don't care about their walefare, or you are a mother who is also guilty of being unfit, and so you find this post offensive. Either way, attacking this lady or implying that she is being inconsistent with her statements is very insensitve.


Prosperina is quite rude with their replies. This woman came here looking for supportive information and all this Prosperina person gave was sarcasm and disdain. JessicaKelly, moms like myself adore you! It is awful when people cannot see past their own illnesses to take care of the children they have brought into this world. It is more sad when they choose a mans attentions over their own child/children. It is very sad that this woman abuses drugs and chooses to be with a so-called man who wants nothing to do with that beautiful baby. All of your comments have proven her to be an unfit parent and even if you had to fight her in court, with all the witnesses you have to this man hitting her and the child, their drug and alcohol abuse and their serious neglect of her, you stand a very high chance of obtaining custody. Wether she agrees to give her to you or you have to fight for her you will still need an attorney no matter what. I hope this was helpful. Best of luck to you! And thank you for watching over that baby!
 
How interesting. Jessica actually thanked me for the legally correct info I gave.
 
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