Ask a Legal Question
  1. #1

    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    4
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    how to terminate NJ child support?

    Jurisdiction / State: New Jersey

    I am the non-custodial parent of 3 children.
    I have joint legal custody with 3 days/wk parenting time.
    I'm current with child support payments.
    For no apparent reason, my eldest moved out in his senior of high school to stay with the custodial parent and hasn't spoken to me in over a year. He has completely shut me out of his life. He didn't inform me when he got his driving permit and license, or acceptance into college, or anything else. He also hasn't asked for any assistance with college expenses, so I presume the other parent is paying for everything.



    Given this, would I be successful in petitioning the court to declare him emancipated because he does not want a relationship with me? I have attempted to maintain a relationship, but he does not want one with me. My divorce settlement stipulated that I will pay my part of his college expenses (about 65%), but he has kept me in the dark about his college plans, and I learned of them through my 2nd son. My concern is that by filing such a petition, I might be rocking the boat and forced to fully comply with my divorce settlement by paying for my share of his college expenses and other things when it's actually cheaper for me to simply continue paying child support for the next 4 years.

    I still have reasonable relationships with my 2nd and 3rd sons despite the parental alienation that was reported by a court appointed psychologist.

    Thank you.

  2. Super Moderator Samaritan & Scholar
    army judge's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Pago Pago
    Posts
    15,169
    Thanks
    309
    Thanked 1,598 Times in 1,576 Posts
    No one here can decide what is right for you to do.

    Yes, you are always free to file such a petition.

    Discuss this with your attorney.

    You should consider what might be revealed during such a hearing.

    Are there any skeletons in anyone's closet?

    Please don't answer, just think about it.

    Then discuss this with your attorney.

  3. #3
    Moderator Samaritan & Scholar

    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Weigh a pie
    Posts
    5,115
    Thanks
    96
    Thanked 469 Times in 457 Posts
    How old is he?

    There is a reason for my question.

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    4
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Proserpina View Post
    How old is he?

    There is a reason for my question.
    He turned 18 in January 2011. He disassociated himself from me in October 2010.

    I've read all of the child support guidelines, but unfortunately, there is nothing definitive for this situation, and I presume the stipulations in my divorce settlement will prevail lacking any serious change of circumstances. There are several parts of my divorce settlement that have been breached by my ex-spouse, such as sharing of tax returns, etc. However, I let them pass because they benefitted me too. My thought is that the divorce settlement presumes that a relationship exists between the child and parents, and in my case this is no longer so. If I had not divorced, I would not be obligated to pay for my son's college if he disassociated himself from me, so why should the current situation be much different?

  5. #5
    jacksgal's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    3,517
    Thanks
    48
    Thanked 281 Times in 281 Posts
    Child support and your personal relationship with child have nothing to do with each other.
    For non legal parenting help go to www.parentnook.com

  6. #6
    Super Moderator Samaritan & Scholar
    army judge's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Pago Pago
    Posts
    15,169
    Thanks
    309
    Thanked 1,598 Times in 1,576 Posts
    You wouldn't be obligated to fund your son's college education, had you not agreed to do so in your divorce settlement.

    You should have balked at this when the idea was presented.

    You can balk now, but you'll lose.

    Talk to a few lawyers.


    If there is relief for you, it's through the courts, not on the 'net!

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    4
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Quote Originally Posted by jacksgal View Post
    Child support and your personal relationship with child have nothing to do with each other.

    Yeah, that's what I thought, and an attorney advised me as such too.

  8. #8

    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    4
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Quote Originally Posted by army judge View Post
    You wouldn't be obligated to fund your son's college education, had you not agreed to do so in your divorce settlement.

    You should have balked at this when the idea was presented.

    You can balk now, but you'll lose.

    Talk to a few lawyers.


    If there is relief for you, it's through the courts, not on the 'net!
    Unfortunately, had I balked at this during arbitration, it would still have been imposed upon me. I tried negotiating this point but was sternly warned by the arbiter during mediation that he would rule against me if he had to arbitrate this issue.

    As for relief from the net.....I'm just looking for opinions and others' experiences. Obviously relief must come from the courts.

    I'm not trying to avoid my responsibilities, but if the divorce had not happened, and my child disassociated himself from me, then I would have stopped supporting him. Unfortunately, the rules change when there is a divorce, and the settlement, judgement, or ruling becomes binding.

    The irony is that legal fees to make this petition would easily amount to about 1/3 of my son's college tuition for 4 years!
    As my attorney said, "Don't rock the boat."

  9. #9
    Super Moderator Samaritan & Scholar
    army judge's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Pago Pago
    Posts
    15,169
    Thanks
    309
    Thanked 1,598 Times in 1,576 Posts
    An arbitrator isn't a judge.

    You did not have to participate in arbitration.

    That's why most attorneys advise you to litigate in a court of law.

    My considered legal opinion is to avoId arbitration.

    You have to pay to play in the court system.

    However, I'd rather avail myself of my legal options than roll the dice before some biased arbitrator.

    In Texas and Pennsylvania, divorce litigants can even take their differences before a jury.

    Now, there's justice for you!

    I'd trust a jury before I'd trust an arbitrator, mediator, or a judge!


    Quote Originally Posted by sundial View Post
    Unfortunately, had I balked at this during arbitration, it would still have been imposed upon me. I tried negotiating this point but was sternly warned by the arbiter during mediation that he would rule against me if he had to arbitrate this issue.

    As for relief from the net.....I'm just looking for opinions and others' experiences. Obviously relief must come from the courts.

    I'm not trying to avoid my responsibilities, but if the divorce had not happened, and my child disassociated himself from me, then I would have stopped supporting him. Unfortunately, the rules change when there is a divorce, and the settlement, judgement, or ruling becomes binding.

    The irony is that legal fees to make this petition would easily amount to about 1/3 of my son's college tuition for 4 years!
    As my attorney said, "Don't rock the boat."

Similar Threads

  1. How to reduce or terminate support
    By wadalife in forum Alimony & Spousal Support
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 05-29-2010, 02:54 PM
  2. NJ Child Support guidelines
    By redgar in forum Alimony & Spousal Support
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 09-14-2009, 01:55 PM
  3. Divorce in NJ & Child Support %
    By helpforrene in forum Alimony & Spousal Support
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 11-09-2008, 12:33 PM
  4. Lawyer has not entered order to terminate child support
    By justwaiting in forum Alimony & Spousal Support
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 10-23-2008, 09:49 AM
  5. Ex wants to terminate rights to get out of Support
    By anaerosmithchic in forum Child Custody & Visitation
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 11-20-2005, 11:00 PM

Log in

Log in