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    My father is dying and I need help

    Jurisdiction / State: California

    My father has been diagnosed with stage 4 bone cancer that is not curable. He has a 9 year old daughter who is my sister. Technically half sister because we have different moms. Her mom is a drug addict and is out of the picture.



    My dad is in complete denial of the cancer and at this stage has made no will or anything of the sort.

    I am sure I will be taking my little sister and raising her. Will I have to go through the courts to do this? Do I need to contact an attorney? Will I run into any problems?

    My dad also has a house that he currently has a mortgage on, and he just received a loan modification....what is going to happen with that house? I am willing to move in and take over payments but will I have to get the house refinanced in my name? I have no credit and would not get approved at this time.

    He also doesn't have health insurance and I have heard that the hospital will try take or lien the house to get the bills paid? Is this true?

    I don't know what do to or the appropriate steps to take.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sarah4810 View Post
    My father has been diagnosed with stage 4 bone cancer that is not curable. He has a 9 year old daughter who is my sister. Technically half sister because we have different moms. Her mom is a drug addict and is out of the picture.

    My dad is in complete denial of the cancer and at this stage has made no will or anything of the sort.

    I am sure I will be taking my little sister and raising her. Will I have to go through the courts to do this? Do I need to contact an attorney? Will I run into any problems?

    My dad also has a house that he currently has a mortgage on, and he just received a loan modification....what is going to happen with that house? I am willing to move in and take over payments but will I have to get the house refinanced in my name? I have no credit and would not get approved at this time.

    He also doesn't have health insurance and I have heard that the hospital will try take or lien the house to get the bills paid? Is this true?

    I don't know what do to or the appropriate steps to take.
    I am sorry to hear of your father's medical problems.

    Let's hope that a miracle is in store for him.

    If not, you do need to speak to an attorney.

    Let's address your desire to parent "lil sis".

    That is goingt o be very hard.

    "Lil Sis'" mom has first dibs on that, if she wants it.

    If you wanna try, you will definitely need an attorney.

    It might be easier if dad has custody of her now, to ask him to give you temporary custody.

    Yeah, you'll probably need a lawyer to assist you with that.

    How old is dad?

    You may be able to have the hospital where he is being treated help you with that.

    Ask the social work or pastoral care departments about doing it, if dad agrees.

    You can get dad to agree by saying you want to make sure "lil sis" gets medical care, if dad is temporarily incapacitated becaus eof his illness.

    Make sure you ask for temporary, just in case.

    That way he won't see you as trying to 'steal', "lil sis".

    Ah, the house.

    If it has a lien, the hospital is gonna have a hard time selling it.

    You need to get social security arranged for dad.

    Again, the hospital social work department can assist you with the filing.

    That way, social security will keep the hospital from trying to take the house.

    Better yet, dad will get disability benefits for you to use to help care for "lil sis".

    She can get that money until she is 18 or 19, or graduate high school.

    It can be done in 4-6 weeks, sometimes faster for stage 4 cancer patients.

    My baby sister has stage 4 breats and liver cancer.

    We helped her get social security disability in about 30 days.

    They said she'd be dead 6 months ago.
    She's still kicking.

    Back to your problem, talk to the social work department at the hospital (or the pastoral care).

    Tell them your concerns, they can help you get the ball rolling on all of this.

    But, the most important thing is caring for dad and getting social security disability started.

    That will also get him medicare to help with his hospital costs.

    Good luck.
    U C a physician 4 your medical issues. U should C a lawyer 4 your legal issues!

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