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  1. #1

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    I want to move but ex wont let me take the kids or leave them behind...

    Jurisdiction / State: Wisconsin

    I have 53% custody of my 3 chidren, the ex has 47%. In a two week period we have the children 7 days each. I would love to move back to my family in NC as I have noone here and my step dad is dying. However, the ex will not let me take any of the kids and he won't let me leave them behind either. He says if I'm not here when its my turn for visitation then I will be in contempt of the court order and I will be arrested. If I take any of the kids he will do the same. He also told me if I leave the kids behind that he doesn't want to be a FT dad and he will see to it that they are in foster care within the week. Would someone please help me? He is just trying to keep me here and I want to be with my family but I cant take the kids or leave them? What are my options? I cannot afford another lawyer!! Thank you all!!


  2. Moderator Samaritan & Scholar

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    He's being unreasonable.

    I strongly advise you seek an attorney; you do need to petition the court for permission to move if Dad is objecting. Then if Dad says he doesn't want custody, the court is much more likely to allow the move.

    Be prepared to bear the cost of ALL transportation to and from Dad's.

    Also, read this article too

  3. #3

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    Do I need to petition the court if I agree to leave the children with him? Doesn't that seem like "I'm stuck" for lack of a better term?

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    Moderator Samaritan & Scholar

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    I STRONGLY advise against leaving the kids with him! He doesn't want the kids full time evidently.

    You see you can move wherever you want, whenever you want. But relocating the children must be approved - you need to notify Dad, and he has a certain time in which he can file an objection.

    If he objects, he is basically saying that he DOES want custody....and if he objects and turns around and says he doesn't want custody, I cannot see any reason why a judge would not allow the move. I can also see a judge getting a bit ticked off by Dad if Dad tries to pull that.

    See where I'm coming from?

    If it were me, I'd file and notify Dad of your intention to move.

  5. #5

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    I did inform him a week or so ago and today he started throwing a fit about it. I did not know that I needed to fill out a form though...do I still need to do that even if I have informed him? Can he have me arrested if I were to leave without the children for abandonment?
    I want to take the kids but I need to get to my dad and meet his cares as well...
    And thank you so much for all your help. You've been fantastic!!

  6. #6
    Moderator Samaritan & Scholar

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    Quote Originally Posted by gonenuts72 View Post
    I did inform him a week or so ago and today he started throwing a fit about it. I did not know that I needed to fill out a form though...do I still need to do that even if I have informed him? Can he have me arrested if I were to leave without the children for abandonment?
    I want to take the kids but I need to get to my dad and meet his cares as well...
    And thank you so much for all your help. You've been fantastic!!

    If you intend to move the kids beyond 150 miles, you really do need to notify both the court and your ex. Call your local court house; I've tried to find pro-se forms online but have had no luck so far. The clerk can tell you which form/s you need, but won't be able to tell you how to fill them out.

    As far as I can see, the big decision is whether or not you want to leave the kids. Though you won't be arrested, Dad could - after a period of time - file for abandonment.

  7. #7
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    Your ex is not making any sense. If he does not want the kids to leave the state then he files for custody. However that would make him CP and a full time Dad so if he doesnt want that, then the courts are probably going to allow you to leave with the kids. Keep in mind he can always change his mind and if you are able to move the kids, You might be on the hook paying visitation travel costs which is going to add up for 3 kids. You 2 need to work out a visitation schedule. I am not sure moving the kids away and having them switch schools and all that so your ex might do an about face and ask for custody.
    I am not an attorney. Do not consider this legal advice.

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