Three way custody battle

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unknown48

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Hi. Well, I was going to explain everything behind why I'm in a custody battle at the moment--but the last time I tried that, it ended up really long. I'll try to keep this brief.

So my sister, my husband, and myself are in a custody battle. My sister has taken care of my kids for a long time... I am mentally disabled to a certain extent. (Long story.) My husband agreed with this that this was the best thing for them in the beginning. He has never been around the kids much. If at all. I usually visit them as often as I can, as my sister lives in another town. He hasn't put much effort behind it. I completely trust my sister and am thankful for what she's done for me, but my husband made valid points too...

A month ago, my husband decided and planned a bunch of stuff behind my back. A few days ago, he told me we were divorcing and that he was leaving right then. (On a slightly off topic note, I think he's emotionally manipulating me, as well as his mother.) His plan was to take my kids... who have been with my sister for a long time, and just leave. With or without me. And without telling my sister.

Cue to now, and here I am trying to figure out what to do. I don't understand any of this and I'm very nervous about going to court. I think about it, and I want to puke. I've actually considered putting myself into a mental hospital. I understand both sides to this, but right now, my husband has treated me like garbage and I'm not letting him possibly do that to our kids. He said he would come back with hell's fury behind him.

Legally, what can I do? I'm siding with my sister on this one (though I was trying SO HARD not to pick a side...), his parents are emotionally manipulating me and he's obviously still stuck with his mom with that. They tried to turn me against my own family even though they've done so much for me.

He supposedly has a lawyer, my sister has a lawyer... wouldn't abandoning me look worse for his side of the argument? He says that he said that so he can prove to the court that he can change. I'm assuming he's just going to take my kids. :( Legally, what do you think he might have in store for me? I'm terrified he may have some wild cards up his sleeve. I honestly think his plan was to get me and the kids to his home state where I would have less power, I think, and where my family couldn't see them. I don't know if I can hold up in court.
 
Your sister can seek temporary and continued custody until you recover.
Work with your sister and her attorney to do this.
Work on getting better.
Have your therapist testify about your condition and how long recovery might take you.
Your children would be better served staying with someone they know and love.
Children do better when things do not change.
Request that this be revisted sometime during the summer, after school is out.
Good luck...
 
How old are the kids?

How long, exactly, have they been with your sister?
 
They are 2 1/2 and 9 months. Over a year, most likely. We've talked about adoption and that kind of thing, but my husband disagrees. I would like to better my life to be able to fully take care of them myself, but of course... that gets complicated...
 
The math isn't adding up here - obviously the 9 month old cannot have been with your sister for over a year :)

Because the children are so young, I think your sister will have an extremely hard time fighting for custody against your husband. It would not be difficult for his attorney to argue that the kids are too young to have really formed a substantial bond with your sister, therefore why shouldn't they be with their other parent?

Honestly, I think it's far more likely for your husband to get custody even though he hasn't been around much - his rights as Dad far outweigh your sister's rights.
 
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