School truancy

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jennf1975

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I have an 18 year old son that I have tried everything I can think of to get him to go to school. I have contacted his couneslor at school on several occasions regarding this issue. I argue with him every morning to get up for him to only go to bed after I leave. I have left work and dragged him out of bed and even followed him to school. Out of 22 days of the second half of the school year he has been absent I believe 11 times and tardy 8 and a total of 19 absence and 53 tardys. I was just informed that the school gave him 1 at home suspension for tomorrow. I would like to turn him in for truancy but I don't know what will have to me. He has a record of B&E and just graduated from drug court in Nov. 2009. Please advise me what to do, I'm completely out of options.
 
I regret telling you this, but there us little you can do to him about his truancy.

He is an adult.

The state considers him an adult at age 18.

Technically, the school doesn't have to tell you anything about his school behavior.

I don't agree with it, but it's the sad state of affairs in our society today.

But, because he is 18 and behaves poorly, you don't have to allow him to stay in your home.

You can ask him to leave.

If he refuses, you can bring an action in court to evict him.

If he attacks you, call the police.

They'll arrest him and charge him with domestic violence.






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jennf1975 said:
I do understand that he is 18 but I read online that the truancy law is from the age of 6-18.

Yes, it is.

But, as he is now 18 and an adult, you aren't responsible for his truancy.

He is.

Problem for the state is, that he's an adult and he can't be forced to go to school.

The state has no power to keep him in school or to make him attend.

The government created this mess, by declaring children adults at 18.

The school can record his failures, but can't make him learn, nor can they penalize him for failing to learn.

Legally, the school shouldn't tell you anything about his school progress after he turns 18.

It sends a bad message to 15-16 year olds that see this drama.

So, bottom line, what is it that you want?

What are you trying to accomplish?






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Honestly, I don't know. Last week when I contact the court to see if I could put him in violation of his probation they said the juvenile court system can have them till the age of 20. But since then they are not returning my calls. I was hoping that he would receive some sort of consiquence for his actions because all the school has done was give him a couple of detentions and a couple of Saturday schools that he hasn't served. Oh and the one day suspension for tomorrow which I think is completely ridiculous. The county out here makes kids who are locked up attend school. So I don't know what I want, I was trying to give him some sort of life after this. As a mother I need to feel like I've done everything I possibly could. But on the other hand his actions are affecting not only his life but mine and I have a husband and a 3yr old to think about. This is a complete messed up system.
 
Contact the court again.
Go visit the judge in person.
Contact the probation officer in person.
Contact the county attorney.
Speak with the pricipal at his school, no one else but the principal.
The principal will see you.
If you need help seek it.
From what you say, the kid us on dope.
He won't change and isn't trying.
You know how this will end.
You have a new husband and a new baby.
You don't want this kid in your life, because he won't do what is expected.

Whatever you choose will be hard.

It will hurt, but if you do not choose, you'll soon have no choice!

If you want help, you must seek it.


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Ya... if he is on probation then working with his probation officer or contacting the judge directly may be your best bet. If they will get tough with him then his choice will be to go to school as he is required to or to go to school in custody. By failing to go to school he is most likely breaking the terms of his probation.

If that doesn't go anywhere... evict him. You have done all you can. Don't get yourself stuck where you feel like you have to support his behavior... allowing him to live in your home and mooch off of you when he isn't taking care of his responsibilities. Show him that you mean business.
If he acts out... damages/breaks anything or so much as pushes you, call the police and arrest him for battery. If you can convince them to take him into custody then you can get a protective order served on him while he is in custody that will compel him to move out (if the judge plays along with it). That is a lot to go through with your own son, but the alternative is to put up with it for several more years because it doesn't appear he is making an effort to move along on his own.
 
He is no longer on probation, even though I contacted the court weeks ago about his truancy they did nothing and signed the papers to terminate his probation. Yesterday, I called the Vice Principle and left a message informing him that a one day suspension is not enough punishment. (Never got a call back). I called the truancy office at the Juvenile Court and left a message to explain the situation (Never got a call back). So this system we have here in Ohio is the worst system in the world. They let him out of drug court when he wasn't ready, he never had to do rehab or even community service. He didn't even go to the AA meetings. The school doesn't seem to care what he does even though their handbook states the punishments clearing in black and white. I'm trying to reach out to several people to get help and nothing. So I guess I'm done, what else can I do............absolutely nothing.
 
suspension from school for someone that does not want to be at school is hardly punishment. They are giving him what he wants.
You are correct that he is still required to go to school. It does not matter that he is now 18, it is still compulsory. The trouble is that at his age the system will likely let him drift out rather than try to enforce anything.
What you don't want to do is give any indication that you do not care.
If you suspect he is using drugs you can search through his room for any contraband.
Give him an ultimatum to finish high school or get out. Or, if he won't go to school, at least find employment or get out.
In the end, though the law requires him to go to school, you might not be able to get him there. You CAN get him out of your home if he does not want to live by your rules. You will have to evict him just as if you are a landlord and he is a tenant.
 
jenn,

I've been there and done that! Your son is teetering on the border of juvenile vs. adult legal system. I've found the juvenile system to be too lenient and many fall through the cracks. Eventually your son will cross the line into the Adult system once he has a felony conviction under his belt. Luck be with my son again, he got court ordered rehab in lieu of a prison sentance. Yet hopefully it was enough to straighten him out.

It is indeed a sad system, and the kids know it and use it to their advantage. They get the feeling that they are invincible against the law. Thus, unfortunately, the only means to break this cycle is for them to get caught doing something serious that catches the attention of the adult legal system. The most a parent can do is be there for your son when he makes the fall...
 
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