Not so sure child's father should be in child's life-seeking legal options

Status
Not open for further replies.

jenlove24

New Member
My jurisdiction is: Arizona

Hi I am currently 21 weeks pregnant at age 19. My child's father and I have never been married and we are no longer pursuing a romantic relationship together due to the fact the relationship was unhealthy.

Throughout our relationship the father has been emotionally abusive, controlling, and manipulative. Don't get me wrong, I have made my fair share of mistakes. However, he behaves as if I should succomb to his every need and want. If he is upset, it is somehow my fault. I have known him for more than a year and a half and we dated for roughly a year. I stayed in it in hopes that he would improve on his behavior but he wont put any of the help he receives into action. We finally split when I was about 11 weeks along.

I have tried for several weeks to get him to go see a pregnancy counselor with me so we could possibly work on a co-parenting plan. He finally came with me a few weeks ago but the counselor told him he needed to "stop playing the victim" and now he wont go. He saw a therapist on his own a few times but that still isn't helping. Everytime he says he is going to try he falls back on his word. It seems as if 99% of his promises always end up broken which is why I now do not trust him at all.

I have realized at this point that there is nothing I can do to change him. But if he doesn't change, I don't think that I would be a very responsible mother by allowing someone like this to be a part of my child's life. I suspect (this is just speculation but it is possible) that one of two outcomes could grow out of this situation: Either he will eventually leave the picture anyway since being a parent all in itself is difficult, OR he may use the father-son relationship to continue to try and control me. That wont be healthy for anyone involved.

He still lives with his mother and she still doesn't even know I am expecting. He is 20 years old and is on probation status with the community college because he has failed his pre-req classes 2 or 3 times. He has been saying that he may never finish college and he currently does not have a job. I am not trying to paint a bad picture of him, just pointing out some facts. It isn't about what I want or don't want. I need to make decisions that have my child's best interests at heart.

So my question is, what legal options seem like they may be best for this situation? And what precautions should I take?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top