Seeking Full Custody due to abuse

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anjelita

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What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Phila. PA

My husband and I have been seperated since 11/2004 and have one 8 yr old son together. He has no other children, nor do I. I come from an American/Catholic background and he comes from an Afghan/Muslim background (it was a VERY hard marriage!). I am a preschool teacher and he is currently unemployed (for over a year). I had a restraining order against him in 2004 due to physical abuse to myself, so my mother has always been the "go between" for us, picking up and dropping off my son for visits etc. We have not had ANY contact since 2004.

I have primary custody of our son and he has visitation with him every other weekend. Typically my husband just picks my son up from my mothers house and just takes my son and drops him off at his mothers house, spending no time with him at all. I tried to file for contempt in 2005 because of this, but the Master didn't seem to care and dismissed it with a simple "Do you promise to spend time with your son?", my husband agreed that he would (he hasn't!) and that was that. I didn't press the matter any more because I felt that my son was in a safe enviornment with my in laws.

However, this past Memorial Day weekend my husband decided to keep my son with him for the weekend. My son is terribly shy and almost NEVER talks to people (he rarely talks to his father) - he talks to me and my side of the family just fine tho. His Dr. suggested that he may have "selective mutism" (his father IS aware of this), and left it up to me to decide if I wanted to seek psychiatric help or not - she said often times kids grow out of it. He had been doing fine in school, so I let it go. During this particular visit with his father 5/23 and 5/24 (overnight), he took my son to a friends BBQ where my son wouldn't really talk much to anyone there. My husbands friends asked him why his son wasn't socializing and why wasn't he coming up to him and hugging him and spending time with him like the other children were with their parents.

My husband and son returned to my husbands house that evening after the BBQ. My son was washing up for bed and forgot to dry his hands, my husband then grabbed him by the shirt and threw him back into the bathroom where he fell to the floor and hit his head on "something metal" he then began screaming obsenities in his face while he himself was crying (he was saying things like "look what you made me do" and "don't you want a father", gripping him by the shoulders and shaking him, he also delivered one smack to the right side of his face that actually knocked him to the floor. He sent my son to bed where he layed crying all night too scared to call home. The next day (5/24) the abuse continued, my son woke up and thought it was a new day and it would all be over, unfortunately my husband continued to verbally abuse him (and it was BAD), he also threw him into a glass night stand, continued to shake him and delivered two more smacks to the right side of his head - both smacks knocked my son to the ground (solid kid - 105 lbs, NOT easy to knock over). My son said that during one of the blows his eyes blurred, he heard a pop in his head and started hearing a ringing in his ear. Later that day my husband took him for pizza and promised my son he'd never hit him again and simply said to him "I apologise". He then called my mother to ask if he could drop him off early, stating that they had a "REALLY REALLY bad weekend", she said of course he could. My husband dropped my son off at my moms house approx 6:30pm on 5/24.

My son walked into my mothers house with his shirt completely stretched out and his face swollen. She knew something was wrong and asked him what had happened, she said that he simply said "I feel like I have to vomit" then burst out crying for about five minutes straight while she just held him. After about five minutes of reassuring him that he could tell her anything, he began to tell her what happened over the weekend. She immidiately called me and told me everything my son had told her. I called my husband (for the FIRST time since 2004) to ask what had happened - he stated that he had done "what every other father in america does to their child" and that "he could disipline his son if he wanted", I hung up and called the police RIGHT away to file a report. They took down my report as a domestic dispute. Later that evening my son went to take a shower and started screaming bloody murder that his ear was hurting. I decided to let it go overnight and see how he felt in the morning.

In the morning he said it hurt worse so we took him right to the ER. The Dr. concluded that he had a ruptured eardrum due to trauma, as well as several bruises on his arm. I spoke with a social worker in the ER and told her what had happened. During the ER visit my mother in law came to the hospital, I told her I would be pressing charges, she began harrassing us stating that "respectable people keep these kinds of things to themselves" and begged me not to press charges - threatening that she would have me sued for adultery since I am currently engaged (still haven't done the divorce papers). The ER discharged my son prescribing him motrin for his ear and instructed me to follow up with his Dr. in 2-3 days.

Right after leaving the ER I went straight to our local police district to file a new report since the circumstances had drastically changed. They transported us to the special victims unit where me, my mother and my son gave our statements to the detective. The very next day DHS gave me a surprise visit to inspect our house and talk to my son. The day after that I went downtown and obtained emergency custody and filed to modify existing custody. I have since been in close contact with DHS and SVU detective. Both DHS and the SVU detective spoke with my husband and said that he admitted to "tapping" my son on the head, not abusing him. My husband is also claiming that I am just trying to be malicious towards him and that my son must have gotten a ruptured eardrum from something else (like I was just waiting for the day he'd rupture my sons eardrum?! pff! and NO my son has not been deep sea diving, on a plane or had any other recent trauma). I am currently waiting for a child abuse specialist to review my sons medical records (I have them and they are pretty damning - showing all of his bruises and stating that the wounds are consistant with my sons accusations, also that the ruptured ear was due to trauma). If they come back positive for child abuse the SVU will be charging my husband with aggravated assault to a minor.

I am seeking FULL custody of my son - preferably with no supervised visitation. My son has no desire to see his father, he is both physically and emotionally hurt. I have been following up with his primary Dr, his ear has not healed up yet and appears to be getting worse, I am waiting for an appointment with his ENT this upcoming Weds, the Dr says most likely he will have to have Tympanoplasty to correct it.

I have a hearing in front of a Master this upcoming Thursday to extend my emergency custody, and then another hearing in front of another Master July 30th for modifying custody.

My questions (yea, finally!):

I understand that custody is difficult in PA and that there is no way to have ALL rights taken away from a parent regardless the situation unless someone else is willing to adopt him.

How likely is it that they will grant me full custody of my son?

If my son does not want to go to supervised visits does he have to?

When I do get my divorce finalized and remarry, supposing I do get full custody, how easy will it be for my fiance to adopt my son? Will my x have to relinquish his rights even tho I have full custody?

Aside from reporting this to DHS, the SVU, getting emergency custody, and the petition to modify custody, is there anything else I can do to help my case? I could care less if charges are brought against my husband, I just want to be SURE my son is never left alone with this monster again!

Thank you in advance for any advice!
 
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